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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to think my date should have bought me a drink? Tight arse?

320 replies

Miamiabeer · 05/08/2017 10:01

Met a guy got on well.
Had two dates previous and split the bill 50/50 and always have done as I think the man shouldn't pay BUT last night we went out to the pub and I was ordering a cocktail and him a pint.
I said "oh il get this round and you can get the next"
He said "your cocktail costs more than my pint"
I didn't even think about the price,I just thought rather than us buying drinks separate.
So I just got the drinks separately.
I would of happily got a cheaper drink or got him a more expensive but at this point I was a bit taken back.
My cocktail was £4.25 and his best £3.65 so not a lot of difference.
Now I'm thinking he is a bit tight?

OP posts:
Spangles1963 · 05/08/2017 17:04

I can speak from experience,having dated 2 tight wads and one very generous guy in the last few years. Believe me,it is no fun being in a relationship with someone who watches every penny. With one of them,it wasn't just a case of him quibbling over the cost of drinks or a meal,it was him expecting ME to foot the bill far more times than he did. His reasoning was that I had a higher income than him. The relationship didn't last long. Life with the generous guy was far more fun.

EmotionalTeaspoon · 05/08/2017 17:06

Ah come on, I've shagged men before purely because they were there, up for it and I was horny. Whether they were a dick was irrelevant, as long as they had one

Aeroflotgirl · 05/08/2017 17:17

Emotional I prefer to like the men I sgag and be attracted to them, what attractive about this tightwad,mean with money, rude, selfish no thanks! Now op has said, mean in bed too!

LoniceraJaponica · 05/08/2017 17:22

Same as Aeroflot. If I don't fancy the guy then it's a no from me.

Miamiabeer · 05/08/2017 17:23

I did fancy him,he is really attractive.
I couldn't sleep with someone I didn't fancy

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 05/08/2017 17:26

Attractiveness is not only about looks, his behaviour would have put me right off!

pinkyredrose · 05/08/2017 17:32

Can't believe you shagged him, my fanny would've dried up on date 2.

dingdongdigeridoo · 05/08/2017 17:37

I couldn't imagine ending up with someone who was mean with money. Imagine spending your life quibbling over holidays, xmas presents, wedding costs, nights out, baby items, school shoes etc. If he's not willing to get a round in, I can't exactly see him being generous in other aspects of your life together.

gamerchick · 05/08/2017 18:39

Dump him by text and link in this thread just so he knows why

I really want you to do this Grin

morningconstitutional2017 · 05/08/2017 20:07

I thought that when people first meet each other they tend to be their best behaviour and show a nicer side than perhaps six months down the line. If he's this mean now it certainly doesn't bode well for the future.

Mittens1969 · 05/08/2017 20:18

Sounds very tight, but also that he has no idea how to behave on a date! You want someone who will make you feel special.

happypoobum · 05/08/2017 20:24

Yuk! Bin him!

lillianhom · 05/08/2017 20:33

My now ex boyfriend who I had been living with for years was exactly like this. In fact the exact same scenario happened when we'd been together for ages. They don't change and it will be like it in all aspects of your relationship. Run. Run away.

Beebee7 · 05/08/2017 20:52

When I was 19-ish, (1980's!) there was a guy who used to frequent our local nightclub, who was a dead ringer for a young John Travolta yeah I'm old and every last woman fancied him ... 6 foot, long legs, cool clothes, striking blue eyes, and a shock of wavy black hair. He was GORGEOUS!

Then one day in the club, he looked at ME. MEEEEEEEEEE. (This is a true story btw!) He came up to me and asked me for a drink and started chatting me up. I really really really fancied him, and I was a really horny 19 year old who hadn't had a boyfriend for 6 months OR a shag!

He asked me on a date, and all he did for 3 hours was talk about himself, his job, his mates, his hobby (golf-yawn!) and himself again. He bought me 2 drinks then found he had not bought the £20 he thought he had, so I bought the drinks for the rest of the night. (Another 5 each!) THEN he ran out of ciggies (Offered me 2, had 2 himself, and then ran out!) So I ended up giving him about 5!

Then the next date... a week later. Same scenario. Except, we went for a drive in his car, he drove to a layby in the country, and his hands were all over me. He obviously wanted sex (and so did I.) He ripped my clothes off me and it was literally wham bam thank you mam. 2 minutes tops! He then said, 'that was fucking great : I am the man!' I asked him if he was interested in foreplay ever. He said 'I take it happily, but never give it. I am not into tasting fish.'

Long story short, he was a cunt. Tight fisted, misogynistic, bad at sex, and boring.

So no matter how fanciable he is OP, don't stay with him FFS!

1ndigo · 05/08/2017 20:53

Words fail me really. I would have expected him to pay on the first date. Who does 50/50 on a first date fgs? I don't care how attractive he is, I wouldn't be interested in seeing him again otherwise. I wouldn't be instantly bored to the back teeth.

KarmaNoMore · 05/08/2017 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Potentialpoochowner · 05/08/2017 23:18

You're still not the honeymoon period. This is him at his best. HIS BEST. It's only going to get worse from here on in. Jesus wept.

Potentialpoochowner · 05/08/2017 23:18

In, not not!

Jesus wept. Again!

Elvisrocks · 05/08/2017 23:21

Oh jeez, please dump him - life with such a tightwad will be seriously miserable.

Beadieeye · 05/08/2017 23:40

Why is it that men with cobwebby wallets never have a decent dicking in them? It's always the case!
Selfish.

Justaboy · 06/08/2017 00:03

Umm .. works the other way round. Met a woman online seemed a very good match lots of shared interests etc.

However over 4 dates which she called time on it citing "cultural irreconcilability" i had by that time noticed i was paying for everything, she never paid a bloody penny! Never got as far as a shag either told me that she hadn't bedded a man since her divorce some 10 years ago!

Might have been due to her nationally????

fuckingbubbling · 06/08/2017 00:29

Bin bin bin 🗑🗑🗑

Aeroflotgirl · 06/08/2017 00:31

It does work the other way round too justaboy, tightness and rudeness is a unattractive quality in both sexes.

squoosh · 06/08/2017 00:32

Meanness crosses cultures and genitals.

HelenaDove · 06/08/2017 00:54

Balloon Slayer is not far off the mark re. bog roll . I had an ex who wanted me to take Imodium so he wouldnt have to buy bog roll. (i sometimes carry Imodium with me as i suffer IBS sometimes. ) he used to time me in the shower and shout if i took longer than 3 mins. If i washed a piece of fruit before eating it he moaned about me even turning on the tap. He sucked the joy out of life so much that i no longer wanted to suck him!!

The sex was really good but thats not enough when being treated like this.

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