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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset with work colleagues?

408 replies

PhyllisNights · 04/08/2017 20:00

It was my last day in the office today. I'm now officially on maternity leave.

I'm very disappointed with what my colleagues arranged for my send off, though. They promised we would do something exciting. I was expecting a work baby shower (which would have been nice in addition to the one I got my friends to arrange), but we ended up just going to an Italian at lunch time.

I'm very upset. I won't be back at work for a year. I've been there for years and I expected something more. I didn't even get any gifts or a slice of a cake. All I got was one card shared from the office!

When work colleagues leave they get a massive send off with work lunches, gifts, cards & a night out. I'm not expecting a night out drinking given my condition, but I wanted something more.

OP posts:
GinIsIn · 04/08/2017 21:21

@FrancisCrawford @mikeyssister @sparklyglitterpants @GaelicSiog @smeaton @ontheup13

waves frantically it's Fajita Friday!!

procrastinationsupremo · 04/08/2017 21:22

Ok, deep breath.... I'm going to go out on a limb and say perhaps it might be a little bit mean?? If they normally do more? I guess it depends what you mean by 'baby shower'. My husband's colleagues arranged a little surprise party for him... Someone made a beautiful cake and they'd bought our daughter some little gifts. I think they were just really delighted for him and he was really touched. When I used to work for the NHS we took people going on maternity out for lunch (and paid for them) and bought a few little bits. I don't think it's that unusual is it???

Candykane15 · 04/08/2017 21:22

Grin hahahaha

MrsNathanDrake · 04/08/2017 21:22

Phylis, in every organisation I've worked in, HRBPs are basically admins who facilitate all the HR tasks we don't have time to do, arrange interviews, manage recruitment workflow, support management with disciplinaries etc. You make it sound like you have a seat on board Hmm

I thought after you got your arse handed to you on a plate after your grabby 'waaah! Why won't my friends throw me a baby shower?' tantrum, you may have got the hint. Clearly not.

I wait with anticipation on your threads following the arrival of the second coming....

Seriously though, for your own sake, please dial your expectations down. Becoming a parent is like a bomb being dropped in your life.

procrastinationsupremo · 04/08/2017 21:24

I have fond memories of PhyllisNights previous posts and feel strangely protective 😳

Maelstrop · 04/08/2017 21:24

You MADE your friends do you a baby shower? Fucking hell.

MommaGee · 04/08/2017 21:25

Also as HR surely you know if you don't go back, you have to pay back your maternity pay...

Alisvolatpropiis · 04/08/2017 21:27

This is just the thread I needed today! 😂😂

Pigface1 · 04/08/2017 21:27

This is exactly what would happen in our form. Lunch out and a card. A 'work baby shower'? How grabby are you?

Pigface1 · 04/08/2017 21:28

*firm

Spookle · 04/08/2017 21:28

Do business partners have line managers?

And if you are a business partner isn't it a bit more complicated than just finding another job?

And don't business partners have their own expense accounts?

Sashkin · 04/08/2017 21:28

My husband's office bought him this when he went on paternity leave:

www.babyblooms.co.uk/baby-gifts/baby-hampers-and-baskets/new-baby-gift-basket-neutral/

Send the link to your boss. It's the least they could do after the rest of your team let you down.

Pigface1 · 04/08/2017 21:29

Btw the cashiers in Waitrose are 'business partners'.

Allthebestnamesareused · 04/08/2017 21:31

Priceless - having harangued your friends into throwing you a shower you now expect work colleagues to throw one too!

Which one of your friends relented and threw the shower or was it the golden SIL (who knows celebs and all that)? Can't wait to hear whether you got all the stuff on your John Lewis wish list!

Sashkin · 04/08/2017 21:32

I should add, DH works in a start-up with a lot of VC cash floating around, hence the posh hamper.

I work for the NHS and got no gift, just an arsey email about how inconsiderate it was of me to leave the ward short-staffed (baby was very premature).

Original poster
PhyllisNights · 04/08/2017 21:32

I do have a line manager, the HR Director. She manages the overall budget and approval for the actual department when it comes to expenses like the HR team going out for lunch.

And no, finding another role isn't complicated with my experience or T&C.

Waitrose & John Lewis having junior staff receive a little bonus as 'partners' is very different.

OP posts:
crazypenguinlady · 04/08/2017 21:33

Did you go for Fajitas with your work colleagues for lunch, Phyllis?

Willow2017 · 04/08/2017 21:33

If you are anything like you are on here at work they are probably sick to death of hearing about your baby and how it will be followed by people clamouring to take it's photo and how your terrible friends had to be bullied into throwing you a baby shower.

How blood entitled are you not only did you force your friends into giving you a shower you wsntewanted one from work too? Talk about grabby

You are going back you are not leaving forever.

BTW If anyone at work is on Mn you just shot yourself In the foot for baby presents and you just told them you would consider leaving them in the lurch later. ( Not so easy if your contract states you have to go back for a certain time or pay all your extra mat pay back)

Get a grip Phyllis you ain't that important to your work there are hundreds of people who would step into your shoes and your baby isnt the second coming

Chill out ffs and enjoy mat leave. You are just another woman who happens to be pregnant.

VeryCunningStunt · 04/08/2017 21:34

I have fond memories of PhyllisNights

I've just clocked the OP's username and suddenly it all makes perfect sense! Grin
Phyllis has a very definite idea of the correct way of doing things, and the very very very very wrongest way of doing things. This was the wrongest way to do a mat leave send off, for sure.

wizzywig · 04/08/2017 21:34

Wait a minute, op has an alterego called phyllis? Can anyone put in a link to the work baby shower thread please. I need cheering up

Cupoteap · 04/08/2017 21:34

Wow

wizzywig · 04/08/2017 21:35

I hate it when you read the first post and still get the op's name wrong. But id still like the link please

Babyroobs · 04/08/2017 21:36

When I had my second ds he was born prematurely. I went into labour whilst still at work on the ward I worked on. I didn't even get a card or present from the ward, people did pop over to the scbu unit and offer some help which was nice.

MasterOfDisguise · 04/08/2017 21:37

No, Phyllis love, they don't need you more than you need them do they - for the simple reason everything in your post is make believe fantasy nobody is indispensable and HR Business Partners are not a rare breed of unicorn poo, they're fairly easy to recruit

TittyGolightly · 04/08/2017 21:38

HRBP is a specific role. Not hard to find though. And the really good ones tend to be on the modest side.......