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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset with work colleagues?

408 replies

PhyllisNights · 04/08/2017 20:00

It was my last day in the office today. I'm now officially on maternity leave.

I'm very disappointed with what my colleagues arranged for my send off, though. They promised we would do something exciting. I was expecting a work baby shower (which would have been nice in addition to the one I got my friends to arrange), but we ended up just going to an Italian at lunch time.

I'm very upset. I won't be back at work for a year. I've been there for years and I expected something more. I didn't even get any gifts or a slice of a cake. All I got was one card shared from the office!

When work colleagues leave they get a massive send off with work lunches, gifts, cards & a night out. I'm not expecting a night out drinking given my condition, but I wanted something more.

OP posts:
OuchLegoHurts · 04/08/2017 20:36

Maybe they don't like you. I don't like people on Mumsnet who make up shit to waste my time. Biscuit

Amatree · 04/08/2017 20:37

Either this is a wind up or you are a truly hideous person. Baby showers are tacky and in v poor taste at the best of times but 'demanding' your friends throw you one shows a real lack of class. Really, no one apart from you and possibly one or two close family members cares that you're having a baby. Accept that fact and you will have a considerably easier time in the coming months.

SpartacusSaiman · 04/08/2017 20:37

I remember the baby shower thread and the 'my friends are so jealous i am always one step ahead of them in life'

Perhaps your collegues are bored of you. You have managed to alienate loads of other people during your pregnancy.

BossyBitch · 04/08/2017 20:38

Our senior director became a dad for the second time a few months back. He's been working there for more than ten years and all of us in the management team, as well as many of our staffers, love him to bits.

He got a card and one present for the baby that everyone chipped in for. And we didn't take him for lunch.

A baby shower, IMO, would be a massive overkill for the workplace. It's your matleave, not your co-workers'. As a manager, it's not something I'd be happy about, either. I'd feel that it's putting my people under peer pressure to spend - okay for supervisors, managers and seniors but maybe not quite affordable for graduate trainees.

We throw parties for promotions, but then in my line of work, several people always get promoted all at once, so it's a yay, us! rather than a yay, me! thing. We do lunches or dinners followed by drinks when someone leaves the firm for good. It's our way of trying to change minds.

PNGirl · 04/08/2017 20:38

I am sure I am not alone in not caring about my workmates' weddings and/or babies.

TipsNotHacks · 04/08/2017 20:39

So your email about to have a brand new baby, have just gone off for a year on Mat leave to spend with lovely new baby and instead of celebrating that, you're whinging.

I hate to sound like a broken record because all I ever post aboutbon here is my relentless infertility (4 years and counting, even that is nothing compared with some people) - I WOULD FUCKING KILL to be in your position.

jelliebelly · 04/08/2017 20:39

A work baby shower WTF!

TipsNotHacks · 04/08/2017 20:40

Not sure why 'email' snuck in there

Beelzebop · 04/08/2017 20:40

Sorry but baby showers are a nightmare that should not be expected from work colleagues. I know your baby is precious to you, but stop being precious! X

Allthebestnamesareused · 04/08/2017 20:40

Oh - you're in HR Grin - vair vair important!

I agree the party is tonight to wave you goodbye. They didn't invite you because it might disrupt your sleep and routine!

jelliebelly · 04/08/2017 20:41

Oops forgot YABU

Mulberry72 · 04/08/2017 20:41

I remember your last hilarious thread!

grabs popcorn & wine

MSLehrerin · 04/08/2017 20:42

Comedy gold. Have poured myself another🍺.....feet up too.

Ohherewegoagain · 04/08/2017 20:42

OP take a careful step of your high horse love and take what you are given.

SpartacusSaiman · 04/08/2017 20:42

This is the 2nd baby shower you have expected. For one baby?

Underthemoonlight · 04/08/2017 20:43

My manager organised me a surprise baby shower when I was pregnant with dd i had no idea. But on my last day I was sick with a really bad chest infection and she still begged me to come in for the afternoon I didn't go because I felt that I'll.TBH I would have felt extremely uncomfortable with it all. Your expections are far to high for your friends and your work colleagues.

TeamCersei · 04/08/2017 20:44

If you were leaving I would say YANBU.
But, you are going back, so YAB a bit U.

RebornSlippy · 04/08/2017 20:45

Don't worry, OP. I'm sure your colleagues have planned an extra special something for once the baby arrives. You know, what with you being so important etc.

On the other hand, maybe they don't like you? Can't think why...

Sucks to be you.

LivingInMidnight · 04/08/2017 20:46

Ooh you're back! 🍿

RapunzelsRealMom · 04/08/2017 20:47

No way. This has GOT to be a joke post, surely?

"I'm pretty important," ?????? Really?? Dear God

MommaGee · 04/08/2017 20:48

We do little baby showers at work. However I went into premature labour. ..

I would contemplate why they don't treat you the same and whether you've done something to push people away.

And of course you paid for your lunch - you ate it!

Original poster
PhyllisNights · 04/08/2017 20:48

To be perfectly honest, they need me more than I need them. I could easily get a better job. Might lead them up the garden path for a year and then not return.

OP posts:
edwinbear · 04/08/2017 20:49

Wtf is a 'work baby shower' 🤔 You'd not get one of those at my work as nobody would have a clue they were expected or even what one entails.

RuggerHug · 04/08/2017 20:49

You know what I got from work when they found out I was pregnant? Fired.

Please though, give a detailed run down of how you demanded the previous baby shower and bullet points as to why it wasn't to your standards. Cluster feeding happening here and nothing decent on TV.

Ohherewegoagain · 04/08/2017 20:49

OP is this a wind up by any chance?