Are nurseries really THAT bad ?

[bookworm91]

Three people I know who work in nurseries have said they would never put their child in one. ( and one of them has a child herself.) One of them even went so far as saying they dont understand why you qould have children just to put them in a nursery . I have a 3 year old who goes 2 days a week and as far as in aware she seems happy there.... But my freinds who work in nurseries have said that they arent great , children dont get individual attention and its often chaotic and theres so many children they cant see to all their emotional individual needs. So would i be unreasonanle to ask any nursery practitioners etc is it really that bad ?!?!

It does children no harm at all to sometimes not have their individual needs met.

Some nurseries aren't great, some are fabulous. My dd went to a lovely one and was always very keen to go.

No it's not.

I have friends who are nursery practitioner and their little ones go there, even when it's not their shift.

I personally believe putting a 6 months old or a year old baby full time is to much, but when they are older, it's good for them to socialise. It doesn't even hurt them not to be the center of the world. Your first born will be the center of your world, but in practice the others won't. You take care of all your kids, and no one is traumatised.

Part time is probably best for the children. It's like everything, some nurseries are shit, but others are lovely and have lovely and dynamic staff to take care of the little ones.

If your child wasn't happy, you would know, so don't worry about it!

I've worked in nurseries and personally i'd prefer not to put a DC in nursery before 2 - 3.5 (depending on robustness/outgoingness)

For a baby/toddler I like a smaller/more homelike environment and more individuality (ie not having to follow the nursery routine)

Having said that some nurseries have small baby rooms and follow babies routines very well. Plus sometimes nursery is the most practical option...eg if DM and MIL hadnt volunteered to look after DS he'd have gone to nursery as our local ones stay open till 7 (Id get off the train at 6.15ish-6.30) and all our local cm only work till 6.

Maybe they just dont like the thought of their little darlings not having the attention they clearly give them so much of at home .

I've worked in nurseries for 20 years, I've nothing against them and have used them. I've left early years settings now as the pressure on staff got too much for me. It made me unwell to the point of chest pains etc. Contrary to popular belief, it's not just playing with children all day. People seem to think that a minimum wage job is stress free.

I've worked in nurseries for 20 years, I've nothing against them and have used them. I've left early years settings now as the pressure on staff got too much for me. It made me unwell to the point of chest pains etc. Contrary to popular belief, it's not just playing with children all day. People seem to think that a minimum wage job is stress free.

From September my currently 6 month old will be going to a childminder with a nursery style setting full time. I have to work to be able to afford to live. If you have a lovely nursery that your child enjoys I wouldn't worry about it. Not everyone can stay home with their children and live!!

No. My daughter's nursery was lovely. It was owned by an interior designer and she had decorated it beautifully. She loved it and the staff were great.

I agree that sometimes meeting every single need all the time doesn't do children any favours. They need to learn to wait their turn, to not come first in everything and to stand up for themselves.

Meh. Different strokes for different folks. There's certainly a huge variety between nurseries. Some are better than others but that goes for most things in life. Loads of the nursery nurses at DS's nursery use it for their own children and there's currently a 9 month waiting list to get a place, I had to book DS in when I was pregnant. The baby room was very much baby led in terms of routine, the toddler room has them all in the same routine. It works well for us and DS loves it there (he's 18 months but been there since he was 4 months). We've been away so this morning was the first time he's been for a week and he ran into the room, gave his friend a hug, waved hello at his keyworker, climbed into his chair and demanded breakfast, then waved me goodbye. I don't think it's necessarily good for him but it's certainly not bad for him and it facilitates me working full time, which is definitely good for the family as a whole.

My personal experience - staff morale is usually very low and stressful resulting in people not carrying out work with 100% effort. The kids just get the necessary care but nothing extra from the staff. Also in my nursery I worked , half the staff were useless and I can't believe some parents were paying £45 a day for their child's care from them.

Our nursery is brilliant, my daughters key worker is lovely and i know she gets plenty of affection from her and the other ladies that work there. Most staff have been there since the nursery opened and had their children attend. My daughter loves it, thats the main thing, on drop off she reaches out to them for a cuddle and grins like crazy, she's been there since 9m old.

Some are better than others. I've worked in three nurseries over 12 years and one was terrible and the others were ok. I think the whole "keyworker" system is a load of bull in most settings, from my own experience and not talking about ones I don't know, it was only for Ofsted inspections. We were always so understaffed, we couldn't do the things with our key children we were meant to and a lot of it was just paperwork that was impossible to put into practise. Half the planning that we had to do was never done, the only thing that mattered was that it was written down, most of what the children did was free play, and older children mixed with younger at times. I would suggest looking round a few nurseries and looking at how the staff interact with the children and ideally make sure there is a good mix of staff, older workers as well as younger, because you don't want a nursery run by teenage girls if you prefer experienced staff.

But I do think it's good for mixing children with others their own age and preparing for school nursery. They have their good and bad points.

At my DS's nursery one of the staff has her child also in the nursery. Another has her child in a different nursery, this is because her child was already in that one before she got the job at DS's one.
I also have a friend who works in a nursery and both her children attended there too, before they started school.

So no, I've never personally known any nursery workers to be so against the use of a nursery for their own children.

I know someone who worked for ten years in a very good, ofsted excellent nursery. She always said she would never ever use a nursery and indeed when she became a mother she did a combination of sahm, sahd, family help and childminder. She was convinced that, great as she was at her job and as much as she loved children, nurseries are not the best places for young children and definitely not for babies.

Im torn. Having worked in a nursery, the bg thing is lack of individual attention and needs met - eg if 4 childrrn are crying some have to wait. I think from around 2 onwards thats a good thing - they learn to become independent, that they wont get their own way all the time. Its great for socialising and the staff offer so many different activities. Id be quite happy to send them to nursery at 18months plus, even if i was sahm id try to get them in a few mornings a week.

For babiea, i feel differently. I know parents cant help it and the children are cared for - but if i had the choice, i wouldnt send a baby to nursery. Ratios mean ataff are 3 to 1. So if 3 babies are upset 1 has to be left. While the fact pace and independence is good for older ones, i dont think it is for babies. You cant give them the individual care and attention and that rsally upset me. To be honest I think babies should have individual attention - something every pwrent does naturally anyway - and they cant understand 'wait a moment' where an older child can.

I think 18 months plus nurseries are fantastic, social and brilliant places. I think for babies, while it might be neccesary for working parents, it doesnt benefit the baby and theyre really not gwtting one to one care

We used a part time nanny for one of the DC. She used to work in a child care centre and was adamant that under 2 years she wouldn't do it for her (theoretical) kids.

My son's been going to a lovely nursery 3 days a week since he was 9 months old. I picked the place based on their excellent care inspectorate grades (we live in Scotland). We've never had any reason to regret the choice, when he was in the baby room the staff followed his routine (or rather lack thereof) and were great with him. He was clearly attached to them. Now he's with the 2-3 years old he still loves going and has made friends. His baby sister will go when I return to work. We're sticking with the place until our kids go to school, even though it's not local to us.

A lot of the nursery workers at my DD's nursery have children that go there. I appreciate that DD isn't going to get as much 1-1 attention but I don't really think that's terrible as she gets constant attention the other 6 days a week. Maybe it depends on the nursery as ours sticks to the routine she has at home, she seems very happy there, although she is only 1.

Ex nursery worker and now mum of three. None of mine have been to nursery.If i had needed childcare before they were 3 I would have used a childminder.

This crops up periodically on MN- nursery workers eager to tell us how shite they are!!

Fwiw some nursery settings are no doubt crap, and you get incompetent people in any line of work. But there are fabulous nurseries around too. Nursery care is usually second most expensive form of care- nannies cost more; child minders usually quite a bit less. The nursery mine went to, you paid full rates 51 weeks a year regardless of when you were on annual leave and not needing it. No way would I have paid my entire salary for anything less than excellent care.

I've worked in nurseries for almost 20 years and they are all very very different. Some really are terrible, and others are lovely nurturing places where children thrive.

The quality of a setting can easily vary & change over time to depending on staff turnover, group size, ratios, qualification/experience of staff funding, effective management (or not) , individual children, parent community, how genuinely inclusive the centre is etc... If any one of these factors is an issue it can often be balanced out if the other areas are strong.

I would try and avoid large group care and long hours for a very young child if it is at all possible, but if you do not have an option try and aim for:
Small group size (ideally under 15 children)
good ratios (ideally 1:3 or 1:4 max)
Qualified & experienced staff, with low staff turnover
What professional development opportunities do they have?
Visit the setting- are staff at child's level (sitting with them, chatting with them) Is there a busy, happy, 'buzz'. Do the staff & children look engaged & happy?
Do the children seem to have a good range of experiences to choose from independently? Do they have access to outside, to run, make noise, make mess & play freely?

Do they operate a primary caregiving/key worker system where one main person will help settle your child in, get to know them & keep an eye out for them?
These are all good quality indicators.

I also like to look at the art of the walls- Is it all pre cut copies of the same thing (adult directed) or are there individual examples of different work (child led) . This may indicate that they foster & value individual children's efforts, ideas & creativity and understand best practice vs just worried about 'sticking any old thing up' or displaying parenting pleasing 'products'. Not a perfect sign, but a good start & hasn't failed me yet ;)

Every single person I know who's ever worked in a nursery has said they would never put their kids in one, so I would never use one for a baby.
Did school nursery from 3 though.

I used to work in nurseries, I left due to high demand low pay and the nursery never keeping within the right guidelines or child/adult ratios therefore resulting in more accidents. I also had my own two children in the same nursery and they used to cry and hold onto me when going in to their rooms! So found a different job and left and haven't put my kids but into a nursery again.
IMO they employ young ppl who think it's great at the start but aren't really bothered with the actual work load and proper care children or babies require.. leaving more for the older workers to juggle..
They don't get one on one are treated as numbers not children and the owners only care about making money! But yet children still play with broken toys??
Never again would I ever take a job in a nursery again as it was truly heartbreaking how badly run they really are!