Are nurseries really THAT bad ?

[bookworm91]

Three people I know who work in nurseries have said they would never put their child in one. ( and one of them has a child herself.) One of them even went so far as saying they dont understand why you qould have children just to put them in a nursery . I have a 3 year old who goes 2 days a week and as far as in aware she seems happy there.... But my freinds who work in nurseries have said that they arent great , children dont get individual attention and its often chaotic and theres so many children they cant see to all their emotional individual needs. So would i be unreasonanle to ask any nursery practitioners etc is it really that bad ?!?!

I went to a nursery induction with dd today. Some kids were clearly loving it, running around and playing. Two dc cried the whole time I was there (over an hour) I just hope that if dd is one of those they tell me so I can consider alternatives. Perhaps those crying kids are ok other times.

Two dc cried the whole time I was there (over an hour)

Qué estuvieron llorando no es el problema, lo importante es como los trataron las trabajadoras

DD went to a brilliant nursery from 4 months old and thrived there.

Yes it would be lovely if every baby could be at home for however many years or with a childminder or nanny but it was better for our family that then-BF (now DH) and I finished uni without taking any time out, and having her in the modern, award winning nursery on campus was better for all of us :)

A bad nursery is a terrible environment for a child (and I saw some shockers when I was looking around them). A great nursery is a brilliant environment for a child. It really is that simple, IMHO

A decent nursery is good for getting a child used to a more structured environment where different needs (and expectations) across many different people must be met. Children who have not attended nursery seem to struggle more with the structure of schooling, and for a few of these people it may lead to a poor reputation within the school, unfortunately.

I think childminder / nanny is appropriate until 3, when a mixture of nursery and more 'personal' childcare is appropriate. If the mother or father doesn't work then of course they're the priority replacement for the nanny/childminder care, but they can't replace the nursery experience.

Personally I don't measure what is the best environment (for young children) by the number of enriching activities per day or whether they have constant attention. I think a secure, loving and relaxing environment is most important.

My ideal (absent other factors) would be for young children to stay at home with loving parents until around 2 and then add in an excellent pre-school for a few hours a week until school to increase their range of experience and benefit from group activities.

That said, I don't think a good daycare nursery even full time is going to be harmful and possibly for children with a poor home environment it can be better. I know plenty of young children with loving parents who are in daycare 4-5 days per week and seem very healthy and happy.

I'm sure there are bad nurseries.

I should caveat by saying I have no personal experience of daycare nursery (as opposed to pre-school) and didn't apply my own 'ideal' scenario either! Other factors were st play and as long as you have good quality childcare of whatever nature the differences are probably marginal. You make the best decisions you can in the round.

Children are also very different. My DS started preschool nursery at 2yrs and in retrospect it was a bit young for him. My DD would have been just fine at the age.

@Atenco yes but the parents could put them in a different environment, like a childminder. This child was polish and so maybe a childminder who spoke her mother tongue would be more reassuring for her.

Depends totally on the quality of the nursery. Poor ones are very bad for kids. Good ones are good for kids.

I live in Sweden and our daycare is of v high quality. And cheap - means tested and never more than 120 quid a month. You need a degree in childcare to be a nursery worker here and the number of non degree qualified assistants is limited. Kids are in small, mixed aged groups (that seems to be seen as a bad thing in the uk but here it's seen as good - 1-5 years mixed, older kids separated mainly.)
Care is great quality

From what I've seen of uk care it varies hugely. There are some good nurseries and also some really crap ones.

They don't understand why? Maybe because me and OH both have to work full time 8-5 and the baby can hardly go on a building site with OH can she? Ridiculous.

From what I've seen my preference would be a good childminder up to age 3. At 3 I think a nursery or preschool works well.
Just my personal views though. Each child is different.

The important thing is to selectvtge right one for your child - older one has been in 50 hours a week childcare since 4 months, younger one will start next minth, 6 months old. older one has profited hugrly from his nursery - its not the most convenient dor me, its more expensive than others, but its good for him. fwiw, i think staying home with a parent only benefits a minority if children, most proft hugely from not being the only one, and from interacting with other children

Depends on nursery and child. My 2 dd both went to a lovely nursery. They both thrived there.

I can understand why others may choose a childminder or other type of care, or sahp. Depends on the child and the family situation.

Nursery staff not using nurseries for their own children has nothing to do with how awful nurseries are
It's got more to do with the low wages they earn making it imossoble to afford the fees even with staff discounts
Also most childcare workers are skilled at looking after children so why would they want to pet someone paw so it when they can do it better?
That was my reasoning for not using nurseries. I'm a very skilled and dedicated early years worker, why would I pay someone else to care for my child when I can do a better job?

Yukbuck, we take children out for free at weekends. I am still in contact with families from my work nursery fron 2006. I see all of them at the school, my neigbours etc. A lot still come round mine and my colleagues house. My colleague lives 2 doors down. It is a community.

I would say nannies are more likely to do it for the money. When I started at nurseries we were paid £3 an hour. You have to adore children to do it for that.

Dolly
When I started I did it for free at a playgroup
When I got my first job in a nursery at £3 an hour, I thought I was rich :)

Depends on the nursery.

The owner of the one I worked in, rarely took a penny out and ploughed it all back in to the nursery for resources, extra staffing etc.

But I have friends who worked in nurseries where when art supplies ran out it was tough, snacks were cheap crap rather than nutritious. Pay was poor and staff moral was poor.

At least two of the nursery workers at the one my daughter goes to have their own children there too. So I take heart from that.

My 4yo twins moved from a full-time nursery to a pre-school 18 months ago when I gave up my job. they still talk about their key worker at the old nursery because she was so lovely.
My oldest had a nanny till he was nearly 3 because we thought it was better than a nursery. When he did go to the same nursery as the twins, we realised this was not so. It was just lovely. It was full of cuddles and fun, and we are still friends with some of the children and parents we met there.

Dollydilly I guess it depends on the area then.
A nanny relationship is just different as you are in their home day in day out. You have to really connect with the family. It's very different around the area I live in with nurseries. Some children I nanny also go to nursery and it's mostly young members of staff and an incredibly high turnover of staff (I'm not saying young members of staff are bad, just backing your point up about low wages)
I truly believe a child thrives in a homely environment until 3. I always feel 3 is the right time to leave a family (unless they have younger siblings). I mostly nanny share so the children still get to socialise and it saves the parents some money too.

So it sounds like there is very little oversight of nurseries.