Are nurseries really THAT bad ?

[bookworm91]

Three people I know who work in nurseries have said they would never put their child in one. ( and one of them has a child herself.) One of them even went so far as saying they dont understand why you qould have children just to put them in a nursery . I have a 3 year old who goes 2 days a week and as far as in aware she seems happy there.... But my freinds who work in nurseries have said that they arent great , children dont get individual attention and its often chaotic and theres so many children they cant see to all their emotional individual needs. So would i be unreasonanle to ask any nursery practitioners etc is it really that bad ?!?!

My DT's went to full time nursery from being 6 months as I chose to go back to work - financially I didn't need to but wanted to continue with my career and provide for good childcare.

They stayed at the same nursery until they started school. We visited about a dozen before deciding on the one we liked best. The DT's have good memories of their nursery time and still (they are now at Uni) send Christmas cards to some of the staff. They made their first friends there and two of the staff became our babysitters. The DT's appear to have grown up ok and not damaged from being at nursery!

deluded if you think sahp give their child attention all day everyday.

winter you said you removed your first child from the CM to a nursery? seems an odd thing to do unless you weren't happy with the CM. Small children thrive on continuity and familiarit.

The childminder had to change her working hours which no longer fitted with the hours DH and I needed to fit around our jobs.

There are plenty of dodgy childminders out there too (saw plenty during my maternity leave in playgroups and playgrounds not giving their charges one to one attention or any attention at all in some cases )

Either way, it's sad that there have been plenty of comments judging those who do put their children into nurseries under 2 years old. Not everyone has family help, a dad who can work from home or part time and lower cost childminders who work long hours (all the childminders in my area had shorter hours, cost me more and rarely had space)

And as someone who works with children, there is a world of difference not liking where you work (politics, management, funding etc) compared with the experience a child has in the same setting, who isn't aware of any of that and loves it.

Not for all my children, advice. I suppose I feel guilty as mine are off for summer as I can't afford it right now.

My daughter attended nursery for 3 days per week from the age of four months. I was anxious at first, but she absolutely thrived! Loved going there. The staff were excellent, and because they were totally focused on the children she ended up having more interesting and enriching experiences there than if she'd been stuck at home with me being bored, or stressed because I couldn't get any work done whilst i was looking after her.

These people who keep going on about how the staff are looking after 'loads' of children, the statutory staffing ratios for young children are actually very high and I never felt that my DD was being ignored or neglected.

Obviously the quality of nurseries vary, you need to shop around, but there are some really excellent childcare settings out there.

There's nothing substantively that I can find Advice, although that's not to say there's nothing. Just nothing definitive. And with all stats so many variables have to be generalised to show a trend, it really isn't useful in my opinion. Although fair play to anyone who credits such data more than i do when it comes to their own children and circumstances.

I feel bad for things, such as I let my youngest watch Netflix with the elder onew earlier. DC1 didn't watch TV as she waw at nursery with me.

Most people have no choice but to return to work. If these nurseries are so bad then why don't the staff report them to ofsted?

My DD started off in a very small nursery just up the road from where I worked. She was there PT from 9 months old, then FT from 15 mo. The baby room had 3 babies and several staff, so for her it would be no different to being at home with several siblings. She would come home smelling of her keyworker every day, because she would sit and cuddle her. That nursery had a core staff of 40+ year old women, and a very low staff turnover.

The children moved to the other room at 2, and were mixed in with everyone else. There weren't many children overall, but I don't know how happy we'd have been with that set up until she went to school.

As it turned out we relocated for work when DD was 2.5 and she ended up at a huge nursery with multiple classes. She loved it, and never wanted to come home. It had a massive garden and she spent most of her time out there.

Whatever people want to believe, research points to the fact that the little darlings as you refer to them op, do better not in childcare.
I don't care what people do. I'm sure nurseries aren't that bad but there are some that will be, and a 6month old can't really tell you. It's the way the world works now. The machine wants you back at work as soon as possible.

Ewan My 2 year old DD is the same. Nursery have a huge garden, and she spends most of her time out there, they have a covered area so she's been known to play out there when it's pouring with rain. Can only bed a good thing really.

I started at nursery when I was 3 months, Toot. I don't remember any of it until about 3.

I've had 1 child go through nursery and another child who is now in that same nursery.
Both my children have ran in on the morning and are happily playing when I pick them up.
That says a lot for me.
Their needs are being met and I have happy well adjusted children.
I can only go by drop off / pick up but i don't worry about them when they are there.

Our children went to a nursery with 2 employees and only 6 children at a time so they considered it a treat to go!

I think it depends on the nursery.

The one my DD ended up at has been quite extraordinary. I feel so lucky to have been able to send her there, and they do a range of activities including forest school that I would never have been able to offer her own my own, plus a really nurturing and lovely social environment with close relationships with her key staff members. They are all degree educated and really really wise and wonderful people.

With that said, I did visit some nurseries that really made my heart sink. So I tend to think that (like parenting!) quality varies. It also depends on the parent. I am not a natural SAHM and would not have given my best to my DD on a full-time basis at home I'm afraid. I do much better with working while DD is at nursery not totally full time but maybe 75%, so she doesn't have ridiculously long days and then making the rest of our free time really special.

I think you need to do your homework on any childcare setting and go with instincts to an extent too. There are brilliant nurseries and not great ones. Same with childminders and SAHP.
My youngest is in nursery part time just now and has settled in so well. I've been extremely impressed and get confused as to why some people are so against nurseries as a whole.

IME most of the people who say they wouldn't send their children to nursery are often the ones who have a family network they can rely on for childcare.

I've used both a nursery fir DS1 and then a childminder for DS2 (logistical reasons) and found pros and cons with both. For me, the main advantage of a nursery was that I knew where DS was at any point during the day. With the childminder DS2 was often out in the car doing various school pick ups so not so easy to contact if the need arose.

I was at nursery at 3 and I remember liking it. I have no issues with what other parents do. I feel like the system however encourages mothers especially to return to work asap. I couldn't justify working to pay someone else to look after my child. I took the career hit but have been lucky enough to return to my career after a 3year break.

That is what I mean Toot it is finances that are the barrier. All my childcare was paid for. It is only now I have retrained as a teacher that I have to pay.

Mine used to go to an outstanding nursery that was used by staff. Personally I believe that children can have more one to one attention at a nursery because there's more than one adult. A spare pair of hands or two were always there to support children who needed it.

I has no family support. Zero. I did it all. Not always fun. But we're often told of the adverse effect it will have on careers etc. Perhaps if more people took.time off it would be more normalised in the workplace.

Actually, T00T, the research shows that overall, it doesn't make any difference.

My daughter has been in full time nursery since she was 9 months old. She's 3 now, she loves it, she's confident, well developed and happy. I have to work so she has to be in childcare and I prefer the nursery setting to a childminders.

I wouldn't use the nurseries that your friends work at if they are so appalled at the work they themselves do. We're lucky enough to have a not for profit local cooperative nursery that works in conjunction with sure start right near us.

The kids are always really happy and engaged, they do tonnes of activities and take them out to the park, into town, the museum, the city farm, and all kinds of fun places on a regular basis.

Whatever people want to believe, research points to the fact that the little darlings as you refer to them op, do better not in childcare.

What research is that T00T? In Scandinavian countries where childcare is heavily subsidised through high taxation, so pretty much all children use it from very early on for a number of years (longer than us) their PISA scores are some of the highest in the world.

What I mean is, research that you may be referring to, will have had flaws (as most research involving children usually is for obvious reasons) and any 'research' can be interpreted in many different ways, for many different factors, including the reference I made to the research carried out in Scandinavian countries.

A blanket, all nurseries (or do you really mean all childcare-do you include childminders in this or grandparents/family members as well) are bad before a certain age and all children should be with their parents till then, is not the case with everyone, everywhere.

I took 13.5months off work with DD, other than quitting my job (not financially viable) I had to go back to work. DD has been in nursery for 7 months, they are ofstead outstanding run by an ex ofstead inspector. My mil would have probably had DD for a couple of days but I prefer to send her to nursery as they are more geared up to entertain and teach her.

For me I wouldn't leave her with a CM because I don't like the thought that she would be taken on daily errands and school runs, when I'm at work I'd have no idea where she was or what she was doing and being driven by someone whose skill level I had no idea about. Leaving her with one person wasn't ideal for me either. I prefer the security of a nursery for being more staff to be accountable. We all know toddlers and kids are hard work, at least at nursery they can step out for 5 mins and breathe when it's too much. A CM couldn't do that.

All the kids I know who have been to nursery are always ahead in development as well.

No SAHP or CM will give a child 100% attention so why nurseries are supposed to I've no idea.