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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want my son to see the GP

253 replies

Steggers123 · 04/08/2017 08:25

Good morning, my eldest son turned 18 three weeks ago so is now an adult so I know hands are tied on this. For the past few weeks he has had a cough, some days not coughing much, some days coughing a lot. He has lost weight over the last six months going from a 32" waist to a 28" waist (he has shot up in height which may account for this). He is tired all the time, after a big night out last week it took him three days to recover.

I've just been in too see him and his face looks sweaty and waxy as it now does most mornings. I'm worried and want him to see the doctor, but he is refusing...he's 18, going to uni soon and I have to let him have his independence. So am I really being unreasonable or would you too be concerned?

OP posts:
Original poster
Steggers123 · 10/08/2017 22:39

Thanks Pacific, I've come upstairs to the bathroom so he can't see that I'm worried, I've always made a point of never letting my children see if I'm worried about a health issue because that just makes them worry more. I may be here some time lol! I'm sure everything is just horribly coincidental. Will call the surgery in the morning and see if they can see him sooner. Thank you everyone, it's wonderful to be able to actually vocalise what is going on.

OP posts:
Blogwoman · 10/08/2017 22:50

I would be inclined to ring the GP surgery in the morning for an emergency appointment- another week is a long time to wait. What a worry for you OP.

notapizzaeater · 10/08/2017 23:00

I'd be worried too. Does your gp have a sit and wait day at all ?

Original poster
Steggers123 · 10/08/2017 23:09

Notapizza, not sure if they do a sit and wait, but they do offer emergency appointments so I'm going to phone in the morning, I'm not going to let this go on another day, spitting blood is the final straw enough is enough, he needs a blood test and he probably needs a chest X-ray. I can't pussy foot around this for a minute more.

OP posts:
HashiAsLarry · 10/08/2017 23:25

I'd be worried too, though in fairness when I've had asthma that wasn't being controlled I ripped my throats up enough that I sort of spat blood so it may not be as bad as it sounds though definitely needs seeing to

Whatslovegottodo · 11/08/2017 07:47

Good luck for you and DS today Flowers

Original poster
Steggers123 · 11/08/2017 08:59

Managed to get an appointment for 10.15 this morning. He's refusing to go...I had no right to change the appointment without telling him, so he's not going end of story.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 11/08/2017 09:03

steggers I can understand your concern but I think you need to let him take the lead on this now. He's eighteen not eight and the more you push, the more he'll dig his heels in.

Has he still got the original appointment?

OddBoots · 11/08/2017 09:03

Oh, I hope you can get him to see sense. There is very little chance of them actually taking blood today, will telling him that help?

notapizzaeater · 11/08/2017 09:06

Agree the gp will provably request a blood test but won't actually do it so he's time to come round to the idea (and get the bloody cream in him (have a needle phobic 14 yr old here !!)

usersos · 11/08/2017 09:06

Morning steggers

I'm really sorry that this is such a worry for you.....
2 ways to go from here I guess -

Show him how upset you are , don't hide it. Explain to him that if he is scared then it's best to get it over with today. You can tell him how much this is scaring you....you can be brutally honest and say that if he won't go for himself then can he go for you?

Or

Keep next Fridays appointment, get nana round to have another "chat"

CakeBrewWine

Whatslovegottodo · 11/08/2017 09:07

Yes, I would be highly surprised if he had the bloods done today.
Resort to bribery, whatever you can to get him there. Best of luck.

Original poster
Steggers123 · 11/08/2017 11:01

After being a full on drama llama he decided to go to his appointment. We saw the nurse practitioner and he contradicted everything I said. Anyway, his chest is clear, oxygen saturation levels normal. His height is 190cm and weight 69kg, so his BMI is on the low side of normal. No blood tests needed, he just needs to eat more and improve his sleeping pattern. He needs to see the dentist about the spitting blood as it is possible it is being caused by his wisdom teeth coming through. I am relieved his chest is clear, but a blood test would really have set my mind at rest.

OP posts:
Backingvocals · 11/08/2017 11:53

Good the chest was clear but I think there should be blood tests. I guess you do too?

PacificDogwod · 11/08/2017 13:30

I'm glad he went in the end and that the examination was satisfactory.
That is a good starting point.
Hopefully, he'll go to the dentist and they can comment on the whole blood spitting/wisdom tooth thing.

I'd give it a week or 2, then if he is no better tell him he needs a follow-up assessment.

stonecircle · 11/08/2017 13:49

Has he had his pre-uni meningitis jab op?

Original poster
Steggers123 · 11/08/2017 13:52

Stonecircle, not yet. We have discussed it and he's knows he has to have it. No doubt it's going to be another challenge.

OP posts:
lettuceWrap · 11/08/2017 14:23

So your son lied about his symptoms and he wasn't actually seen by a doctor? Both of those points negate the whole "he's fine, no blood tests needed" thing IMO.

Blogwoman · 11/08/2017 14:24

So stressful steggers! But I hope you feel somewhat reassured. There's another thread about when 18 year olds have to start paying for dentistry and I think I read there's a cut-off of 31/8 for those starting uni in September so that may be a nudge to get an appointment soon.

Maraudersmap1 · 11/08/2017 16:26

that could be as simple as his wisdom teeth or even gum disease, it can happen, try not to panic. maybe write down all the different symptoms as its easy to forget about certain thing in a 10 min appointment

EmeraldIsle100 · 13/08/2017 15:29

I'm glad he went. Nobody tells you that your beautiful newborn will be so stubborn tbat one day you will consider bribing him to see a doctor. Onwards and upwards!

GlitteryFluff · 17/08/2017 09:35

How's he doing now op?

Original poster
Steggers123 · 17/08/2017 11:52

Glittery, still coughing, still thin, still needing lots of sleep and I feel like no one in RL is listening to me. However on a brighter note he smashed his A levels getting higher grades than his offer and he will be off to do an acting degree in September.

OP posts:
Hissy · 17/08/2017 12:30

Clear chest, but coughing, that could be bronchitis- I felt like I'd been hit by a truck when I had that...

Hope he's on the mend soon!

Imamiddleclasstwat · 01/09/2017 20:18

How is your son now op? I've been lurking and checking in, I could feel your worry and frustration.

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