Aibu to think this wasn't a proud mummy moment (or shouldn't have been?)

[WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat]

Before I go any further, I am changing some details as if the person who this is about read it, they would 100% know who I am and I don't need the grief. I just read this fb status update and my mind screamed "Mumsnet"!

So a friend of mine was waiting in line in a pharmacy for a prescription with her 8yo daughter. The line was long and the place was busy. There were apparently three children, aged between 5 and 10, all with same dad, who were running riot, picking things up and dropping them, shouting and bawling, climbing on the waiting chairs and jumping off, when apparently my friends dd said loudly, staring at said father "ugh, I just can't stand it when parents are too lazy to make their naughty children behave". According to my friend, the father looked angrily at her daughter and was 'about to say something', when another random customer apparently piped up 'well said, pet!'

To which my friend's reaction was "and too right, proud mummy moment, can not stand badly behaved kids myself".

Aibu in thinking that rather than be proud, my friend should have been mortified that her dd was so bloody rude? I mean, ok, maybe the children were being unruly and badly behaved, but is it really an 8 year olds place to loudly admonish the parent? I'd have been crawling out of the place apologetically and coming back for my prescription later, not puffing my chest proudly. Or am I wrong and my friend and her dd were in the right?

Simon yes, yes it is indeed but i consider the comment bad manners as well.
Ok 8 year old don't have the same filters as adults but i would have been a bit mortified if my ds had said that loudly in public. ... maybe the proud mummy should teach dd about filters.
Good on her for knowing it was wrong but the way she said it was wrong imho like she was shaming the dad, not pleasant behaviour either

There was a little lad like this at DC's primary school.

He was 'honest' and 'refreshing'. He was also friendless by year 6 ( when parents pretty much stop forcing their DC to socialise with those they dislike).

He's now 18 and has 'very high standards' abscess hates 'injustice'. He's still friendless.

It's a hard balance even as an adult though, I think. There are times when it's right to speak out and be assertive....and there are times when it's kinder to say nothing if you can't say something nice. Not surprising kids don't always manage to tread the right side of the line. Mind you, as Carl's post demonstrates, it's something kids do need to learn as others don't like those who too frequently stray on the wrong side of it. So the "proud mummy" missed a learning point here.

Yeah, I think one of the best lessons kids can learn is that we all have bad days and we don't need a running commentary.

Continual problematic behaviour is different obviously. That needs addressing. But probably best done by adults who hopefully have better strategy than finger wagging.

Oh god she sounds awful! So does the phrase 'proud mummy moment' 😱😱

'Proud mummy moment' is a phrase a lot of mums say when sharing their pride at their DCs' achievements. For example, boasts about DCs over achieving academically at a young age, or sport etc.

But this wouldn't be a moment I would want to boast about.

That young girl sounds like a right little granny

It shouldn't be a proud mummy moment. The 8 year old had a point about the other children behaving badly, but passing comment loudly in public was rude too. It's understandable for a child to misjudge that, but her mum should be helping her learn to gauge these situations. Not praising her for behaviour that comes over as smug and condescending.

My DD has a tendency to remark on other children's naughtiness and I'm trying to teach her that it's not her job to be the behaviour police - she should definitely tell an adult if something is getting damaged or someone is getting hurt or upset, but she also needs to know when to mind her own business. Being assertive is essential in some situations: being sanctimonious for the sake of it is rarely helpful and can be hurtful if you don't know the full story.

No one likes a tell tale is what I tell my kids. My kids are better now but they used to be a bloody nightmare to queue for anything to the point where I've given up queuing for ice cream and left - dd1 was relieved because dd2 was feral.
I only have sympathy for the parent and I might have tried to help out if I could.

The smug facebooker is an arse and bringing her kid up the same

I'm from the school of kids can comment on others kids behaviour only when they themselves are perfect.

Eg NEVER

I've always told ds he can be disappointed by others behaviour but to watch and judge in silence make the right choice not to behave like that himself.

I've always said you can't control other behaviour - only yours and your reaction to others.

Yanbu, I'd have been embarrassed if my 7 year old had said that and would have loudly corrected her (whether she had a point or not). However I did support her and my other 4 year old DD today when they loudly asked why ADULTS were touching the dinosaur display in the shopping centre when it was clearly signed all around not to touch!

It's really hard to keep small children quiet in a queue and can't imagine how it would be with three small kids when you aren't feeling well. If this was a story about a mum in the supermarket would we all be saying "you don't know what they're going through, the kids might have ADHD" etc?
We've all been in a position where we've been judged for our parenting style when actually we are just having a rubbish time of it. I'd have probably felt sorry for the guy rather than been proud of the D.

I haven't read the whole of the thread (I will soon) the little girl was very rude, nothing for a parent to be proud of. I've got an 8 year old and I would be mortified if he come out with something like that.

My DS has ASD and is very rule driven. He often comments to me about other children's behaviour, mostly quietly but he has his moments. When he was a toddler and saw another toddler having a tantrum he'd just look at me like "WTF are they doing, Mum?"

Recently he loudly asked why his cousin kept hitting their new born sibling. Said cousin is 2. Luckily I was able to explain to him about small children not understanding their actions and he was getting used to their new sibling and learning how to act around them. Which helped my poor SIL stop feeling so mortified as they are currently having problems with DC1 adjusting.

Yesterday he saw a bunch of teens in town kicking about and loudly announced he wasn't going to be so silly when he was a teenager. I told him not to knock it until he'd tried it because teenage years are the time to be silly (they weren't being antisocial, just bantering), and it's fun! His face was a picture.

I'm proud he doesn't want to break the law, but sometimes I feel like 'Jeez kid, take the stick out of your arse!'

What does 'nap' mean though - what kind of time? Over 30 mins?

Sorry wrong thread!

Still a valid question, sea!

Basketofdeplorables Fabulous name btw

Thank you! I have made a much worse mistake before - I once interrupted a very serious thread by accidentally posting a text I should have sent DP, asking him what he wanted for dinner...

If my dgd (6) had said that to an adult or loud enough for an adult to hear I would have suggested she kept that opinion to herself.
Yes it's not great to have 3 kids running riot in any shop annoying people but it wouldn't be the job of a child to reprimand the children or their adult.
When dgd was little (toddler) she told a pensioner on a bus they needed a bath! 😮But she wasn't old enough to understand about having a filter on what she said and has been taught & understands now that words can be hurtful.