Aibu to think this wasn't a proud mummy moment (or shouldn't have been?)

[WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat]

Before I go any further, I am changing some details as if the person who this is about read it, they would 100% know who I am and I don't need the grief. I just read this fb status update and my mind screamed "Mumsnet"!

So a friend of mine was waiting in line in a pharmacy for a prescription with her 8yo daughter. The line was long and the place was busy. There were apparently three children, aged between 5 and 10, all with same dad, who were running riot, picking things up and dropping them, shouting and bawling, climbing on the waiting chairs and jumping off, when apparently my friends dd said loudly, staring at said father "ugh, I just can't stand it when parents are too lazy to make their naughty children behave". According to my friend, the father looked angrily at her daughter and was 'about to say something', when another random customer apparently piped up 'well said, pet!'

To which my friend's reaction was "and too right, proud mummy moment, can not stand badly behaved kids myself".

Aibu in thinking that rather than be proud, my friend should have been mortified that her dd was so bloody rude? I mean, ok, maybe the children were being unruly and badly behaved, but is it really an 8 year olds place to loudly admonish the parent? I'd have been crawling out of the place apologetically and coming back for my prescription later, not puffing my chest proudly. Or am I wrong and my friend and her dd were in the right?

Meh, she was only saying what everybody was thinking. Kids do that. I would have been neither proud nor mortified.

I have a dd (diagnosed with HF ASD) who has spent her young life speaking the truth to strangers and being embarrassing, sweet and irritating along the way. My NT youngest daughter is prone to "telling off" children for being naughty, a couple of years ago they both got annoyed by some children chasing birds outside a museum, so they chased after the children to tell them off. Excruciating but well meaning.

A year or so before that my youngest dd aged around 5 told off a row of noisy teens and tweens for talking and looking at their phones while we were trying to watch Frozen at the cinema. They found her sweet and amusing and did quiet down a bit. I was again half amused half embarrassed. So pride that she knows the rules of the cinema and wasn't afraid to address an issue/ situation she was unhappy with, is not entirely misplaced I don't think she would be the same now aged 8 she is more self concious. The story is something I would post as an amusing anecdote not to be smug. But you can't control how other people view things you post.

I don't think the child was awful. She was stating a fact and probably quite rightly pissed off with the other children's behaviour. I'm staggered at the kind of awful behaviour other parents think is acceptable for their children to do. As her mother, the only thing I would be suggesting to her is using tact and perhaps not voicing the opinion out loud. Last week on a UK Holiday I was surrounded by this shitty parenting constantly and it ruined my holiday and my children's holiday: Bravo for her.

This sounds like a classic example of exaggerating the scenario. The 8 year old probably made a passing remrk about how loud they were being and mum tarted it up for facebook.

Innit.

I know I wouldn't like your friend, op.

It is hard for children sometimes, to see bad behaviour, that they would be told off for, being tolerated by other adults.
They do tend to question in loud voices why.
I can kind of see that in telling dc not to comment publicly, we are endorsing bad behaviour, in their eyes. Social nuances can look to a child like mixed messages and inconsistency.

She's only doing what people of all ages used to do before we got too frightened of telling off precious angels who can do no wrong and must not be told how to behave properly.
Good for her!

I would be mortified if one of my DDs made a comment like that. I find it very rude. It's true that the other kids shouldn't have been running around, but that doesn't make it ok to be rude. The 8 year old needs to learn when to hold her tongue.

I don't recall people going around loudly saying "urgh that parent is lazy" in the good old days.

She was probably just parroting back something she'd heard at home...
DS (6) on leaving school one day; teacher told me they had a number of children off so it had been quiet (close to end of term); DS in a ringing tone "they have all gone on holiday when it's not holiday time, my parents value my education too much to do that!" Cue teacher in hysterics and me mortified and hastening him out...

Children shouldn't be running riot in public. 8-year-olds should not be chastising adults, especially strangers. Two wrongs do not make a right.

They get really obnoxious at around eight and need pulling back.

It's the Lisa Simpson/Peppa Pig phenomenon.

Totally agree with the little girl and why shouldn't she say what everyone was thinking? I think it's outrageous to call a child a precocious little madam. She was honest and has as much right to speak her views, unless we are saying all females should be gagged?

I would be proud if my child spoke up for the rights of others and pulled people up on their behaviour, BUT I would have a conversation on the best way of doing so and the risks of being quite so outspoken.

I regard any bragging on fb a pain. Keep it on mn

I agree with Callenetics. If my DD said that, I'd probably have snorted with laughter and shushed her with a comment about it not being terribly polite to comment. I certainly wouldn't be proud of it, although I wouldn't be mortified either - it'd be the sort of thing I'd recount to my DH as a funny incident.

E numbers are just licensed food additives in the EU. Vitamin C has an E number. There are a few that may be linked to hyperactivity, of which carmoisine is one, and that's in Calpol. But you'd only want to avoid it if your child had hyperactivity, and even then it may have no effect. If you notice a change in behaviour after Calpol, it's likely the child has perked up because of the pain relief.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/food-additive-intolerance/Pages/Introduction.aspx

I’d explain to her why it’s sometimes not a good idea to say things like that (personal safety), but I’m with her on the sentiment. It’s a shame that none of the adults (including the father) said anything and it was left to an 8 year old.

I always have a proud mummy moment when my dc try to humiliate strangers in public. Makes me all warm inside.

A child commenting on what they see would be likely to say "they are being naughty" or similar. That's language copied from adults.

I'd have been agreeing with the 8 year old. What about the other potentially feeling like crap people in the pharmacy? Do they need to put up with badly behaved kids causing havoc? Do the pharmacy staff need to waste time having to go round afterwards and put everything back in the right place? And all because one parent couldn't be arsed to discipline his kids? Sorry but the 8 year old was spot on and wouldn't have had anything to say if the kids were under control. I think it's about time people started putting other people's feelings into the mix sometimes and not just thinking about themselves all the time

Agreed. Some of the responses on this thread have been unbelievable. Making all sorts of excuses for the badly behaved kids and the lazy dad. There is ZERO excuse for anyone to behave like this in public.

The little girl was stating a fact. Good for her. She wouldn't have been in a position to say anything if the dad had made some sort of effort to parent his kids.

I'd have been incredibly proud, children that are badly behaved should not be tolerated and in general cause more problems for other children than adults who are affected. I expect this 8 year old is destined for great things in the future.

I would have judged the child's parent. Not for the comment but for praising the child for it.

"I can't stand badly behaved kids, myself.
Well she might live in
my child's so perfect she's nearly God land.
However in reality she's not such a Saint. If I'd have said that at 8 to an adult. I'd have ended up with a red arse and told to mind my own business, not a public Knighthood.

What about everyone else's feelings - running riot, screaming and taking the shop's goods? Is that ok? No.

I am thoroughly fed up with groups of kids screaming, running into people, throwing goods around and no-one saying what everyone is thinking about.

And since the queue was long, the pharmacist would have had to go round the counter, pick up all the goods which the demon children threw down, if the goods weren't damaged. Then that would have made the queue longer or they would have been criticised for goods being on the shop floor!

Veering off topic but the term "little madam" has been used about this girl - is there an equivalent for a boy? There might be, I just can't think of one off hand.