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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think this wasn't a proud mummy moment (or shouldn't have been?)

145 replies

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 04/08/2017 07:03

Before I go any further, I am changing some details as if the person who this is about read it, they would 100% know who I am and I don't need the grief. I just read this fb status update and my mind screamed "Mumsnet"!

So a friend of mine was waiting in line in a pharmacy for a prescription with her 8yo daughter. The line was long and the place was busy. There were apparently three children, aged between 5 and 10, all with same dad, who were running riot, picking things up and dropping them, shouting and bawling, climbing on the waiting chairs and jumping off, when apparently my friends dd said loudly, staring at said father "ugh, I just can't stand it when parents are too lazy to make their naughty children behave". According to my friend, the father looked angrily at her daughter and was 'about to say something', when another random customer apparently piped up 'well said, pet!'

To which my friend's reaction was "and too right, proud mummy moment, can not stand badly behaved kids myself".

Aibu in thinking that rather than be proud, my friend should have been mortified that her dd was so bloody rude? I mean, ok, maybe the children were being unruly and badly behaved, but is it really an 8 year olds place to loudly admonish the parent? I'd have been crawling out of the place apologetically and coming back for my prescription later, not puffing my chest proudly. Or am I wrong and my friend and her dd were in the right?

OP posts:
Batoutahell · 04/08/2017 07:06

I think you are right. An 8yr old has no business saying that. Precocious and rude. I'd have given her a sharp word and apologised to the man.

TooGood2BeFalse · 04/08/2017 07:06

YANBU. If your friend's story is true, her DD sounds like a rude, precocious little madam.

Witsender · 04/08/2017 07:07

Yup, I would have cringed and made sure to make some kind of contact with the dad

babsjonhson · 04/08/2017 07:08

The father was lazy yes but I wouldn't be proud to of raised such a precocious madam.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 04/08/2017 07:09

Out of the mouth of babes. She's only parroting what she has previously heard her mother say.

Was the child (a) rude? (b) wrong?
You might not like the delivery but the child was neither rude nor wrong in her statement. Neither was she directly accusatory.

selsigfach · 04/08/2017 07:11

I think I'd have had to say something like, "believe me, you've been just as naughty yourself before" - even if I agreed with her!

TooStressyForMyOwnGood · 04/08/2017 07:11

YANBU. I would have been appalled too and would have told her to be quiet immediately (and I am by no means the perfect parent). So your friend was waiting with one child and he had three who started younger than her and may have been unwell???! Not exactly a fair parenting contest, if we need to make these things into a competition at all.

Henrythehoover · 04/08/2017 07:12

My son once did similar at the age of 4 when sitting in a booth at a restaurant and some other older children were climbing all over the tops of them. He loudly said "they are really naughty you should sit at the table" I just said yes you should then changed the subject but it was amazing how quickly they all seemed to be called back to their parents.

CaoNiMartacus · 04/08/2017 07:12

Yeah, the DD might want to be careful in future. That sort of remark could get her into trouble if she says it to the wrong person.

Original poster
WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 04/08/2017 07:14

I didn't even think about the possibility that one/all of the fathers children could have been unwell/dosed up on calpol etc.

OP posts:
Henrythehoover · 04/08/2017 07:15

If at 8 though any of my three said something like the child in my story I would tell them mot to be rude and apologise. For all they knew the man could have been feeling ill and struggling that day.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 04/08/2017 07:15

Is a side effect of calpol running riot, picking things up and dropping them, shouting and bawling, climbing on the waiting chairs and jumping of. Not one I've witnessed.

Blondefancy · 04/08/2017 07:18

😵I would have changed my pharmacy! YANBU, that would be highly embarrassing..

TheClaws · 04/08/2017 07:19

I can't really imagine anyone saying "proud Mummy moment" to a group of strangers, but if my own child had said something like that (and I'm also having trouble imagining that) she'd be told to keep her thoughts to herself.

Original poster
WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 04/08/2017 07:20

Well my kids don't behave like that but calpol has the side effect of making two of them extremely hyperactive. They can go from being at deaths door to like a box of monkeys in 30 minutes.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 04/08/2017 07:22

Sorry, didn't explain properly, when my friend was recounting on fb she said "proud mummy moment", I don't think she said it in the pharmacy.

OP posts:
Witsender · 04/08/2017 07:22

Whether she was right or wrong (and given they were in a pharmacy some leeway should be given as you don't know why) she was passive aggressive and very rude. Not because she is a child, it would be rude of an adult as well. I would hope to raise my children with more compassion and tolerance.

belmontian · 04/08/2017 07:23

She posted about that on FB? Unfriend her, ASAP OP. She'll only get smugger.

OohMavis · 04/08/2017 07:25

God, I'd have been mortified.

But it'll sort itself out in a few years when the 8yo is speaking to her like that won't it? Smile

Winterc00kie · 04/08/2017 07:29

Gosh, people really do put their life and shit all over FB don't they. Her daughter sounds like a stuck up brat and the fact your friend quoted the ever so overused and tacky "proud mummy moment" you must drop her immediately, she sounds arrogant.

Winterc00kie · 04/08/2017 07:30

@belmontian absolutely.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 04/08/2017 07:31

I'm bemused that today on MN it's wrong to challenge poor behaviour. Tomorrow it will all be fine again, with caveats.

EB123 · 04/08/2017 07:31

She sounds like a dick and her daughter is just parroting the stuff she has heard her mother say. Also who puts stuff like that on Facebook?

justtakeaspaday · 04/08/2017 07:32

That is soooooooo smug!

It's also a tiny bit tragic (the 'Mum being smug about kid loudly preaching Mum's strict moral rules at strangers' thing that is).

Mine was like this and we did not have a happy relationship from teens onwards when I began thinking for myself.

TooStressyForMyOwnGood · 04/08/2017 07:35

Yes, some children can become hyperactive after calpol. Also after antihistamines and some other medications.

Other possibilities are that one child was unwell so they others were taking advantage of this to behave badly, the dad was unwell / needed to buy something vital so the kids knew he was distracted, mum unwell at home, kids with behavioural issues. Many possibilities which mean I would never assume.

Even if the most likely explanation is they were all just behaving badly and he wasn't parenting, it's still twattish to comment on it.

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