Aibu to think this wasn't a proud mummy moment (or shouldn't have been?)

[WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat]

Before I go any further, I am changing some details as if the person who this is about read it, they would 100% know who I am and I don't need the grief. I just read this fb status update and my mind screamed "Mumsnet"!

So a friend of mine was waiting in line in a pharmacy for a prescription with her 8yo daughter. The line was long and the place was busy. There were apparently three children, aged between 5 and 10, all with same dad, who were running riot, picking things up and dropping them, shouting and bawling, climbing on the waiting chairs and jumping off, when apparently my friends dd said loudly, staring at said father "ugh, I just can't stand it when parents are too lazy to make their naughty children behave". According to my friend, the father looked angrily at her daughter and was 'about to say something', when another random customer apparently piped up 'well said, pet!'

To which my friend's reaction was "and too right, proud mummy moment, can not stand badly behaved kids myself".

Aibu in thinking that rather than be proud, my friend should have been mortified that her dd was so bloody rude? I mean, ok, maybe the children were being unruly and badly behaved, but is it really an 8 year olds place to loudly admonish the parent? I'd have been crawling out of the place apologetically and coming back for my prescription later, not puffing my chest proudly. Or am I wrong and my friend and her dd were in the right?

Regardless of the dad's backstory and why he was letting his kids run riot on someone else's property, the girl was telling the truth. Children should not be punished for being honest, she wasn't being rude even; she was stating a fact. In that moment the dad was being a lazy sod and he deserved to be called out on it.

If you allow a child to think it is ok to make comments like this you are setting them up to really put their foot in it as sometimes they don't fully understand situations. Eg comments about older children being babies for being in special needs buggies or being naughty when a child with asd is having a meltdown. It also makes them unpopular with their peers.

YANBU - my little treasure comes out with stuff like this occasionally and while I'm pleased she's behaving herself it makes me cringe because she sounds so obnoxiously smug saying it - I don't encourage her; we don't know the reasons behind why the children are misbehaving, they might have special needs, or maybe the parent just isnt a brilliant parent!? Is that a crime? I'm guilty too, we all have our off days.

I'd be more inclined to try to help the poor outnumbered sod round them up by distracting them or making a joke of it or something. solidarity among parents!!

I don't think I'd be proud. I'd be a bit embarrassed about the lack of awareness. I think the pharmacy thing should mean a bit of compassion - he could have been ill, his wife might have been seriously ill and him stressed and picking up med for her or he could have been lazy, who knows.

Priggish little madam. Needs a dose of humble pie - and mother needs a reality check if that made her proud.

Calpol suspension isn't just pure paracetamol though. It has E numbers, colourants and flavourings. It is these, I believe that can cause hyperactivity. I suppose that's just an aside though.

Of course I wouldn't be 'proud' of my daughter saying that.

It's bizarre that people would be.

Wonder where the child gets her smug attitude from?

Facebook lends itself to this kind of smug mummy comment, it becomes a competition to see who is the most perfect parent! The best birthday party, best holiday, best school report etc.

Your friend's DD is only parroting a comment she's heard adults say. I would find it very embarrassing and if it was one of my DDs I would tell her to be quiet (and NOT boast about it on Facebook!!).

Yes, I agree, cringeworthy and not something to boast about IMO.

I had a friend who said stuff like this. She was lovely but socially very awkward.

Her school years weren't easy, her parents did her no favours by teaching her to be so judgemental.

Ehhh...yeah I know where you're coming from. I have an acquaintance who often similarly brags about her kid on fb, detailing precocious smart-arse comments he has made as though we should all be thunderstruck by how clever, insightful and mature he is. It's a shame for him actually because her bragging makes him seem unlikable by osmosis.

And of course, it's really just a symptom of her own narcissism. If she was made of chocolate she'd eat herself.

Its the nature of children to say things as they are. If we contradict them they grow up knowing the truth but afraid to say it. Somewhere on the journey we lose the ability to point out the truth for politeness sake but thats not necessarily a good thing. I wouldnt be encouraging it but wouldnt be as hard on the kid as posters here.

In defence of the father, I'm not sure I'd call it lazy. My children (5yo and 2.5yo) are always causing a riot no matter where we go despite my best efforts to keep them under control. By the end of the day and be ignored over 100 times, I can be well and truly fed up with it and take the approach of 'let them get on with it' as long as they're not being rude, not hurting anyone or themselves and are being safe. We still need to get shit done even with unruly kids in tow.

I would be mortified if my daughter had said that. She can often make comments at soft play if some of the other children are not playing nicely and my response is that it is not for us to deal with. As long as we are being nice, that's all that matters.

Parenting is a tough malarky as it is without being judged by every Tom, Dick and Harriet.

I like this child. I would give them a badge. "She speaks the truth to power" or some such. Being 8 does not mean a judgement on the behaviour of others cannot be made.

But then I and my sibling didnt jump up on seats where other people need to sit and we didnt just pick up stuff and drop it around or shout a lot in public (my cousin was a different story mind you).

Good for the little girl.

Too many little girls are taught to be quiet and put up with crap behaviour.

She was truthful and she had a right to stand up for herself. That's a more important skill than being polite and nice.

She didn't say anything that was untrue. The dad was being a crap parent. He shouldn't have been allowing his children to treat the shop like a playground.
The 8 year old is just parroting what she will have heard her own parents say. Yes it is a bit precocious and her parents ought to tell her that it isn't great to publicly comment on other people's behaviour, but she wasn't actually wrong.

What makes someone 'proud' about this though. I don't get it.

Love the username btw. My fav quote from that film.

Being truthful doesn't mean you can be rude.

If my DD called a grown man lazy to his face in public, for whatever reason I would be mortified & would be apologising to the insulted party not patting myself on the back.

My kids are usually pretty well behaved when out and about but the elder two have had some STONKING tantrums & it's awful to feel judged so no matter how unruly someone else's child is I keep in mind 'we've all been there' and keep my beak out.

It does remind me of 'The Emperor With No Clothes', children speak the truth. The dad really did let his kids behave badly. Your friend's DD simply said what the others in the queue were doubtless thinking.

My 5 year old DD2 is like this. At 8 years old I would expect a child to have a little more social awareness than to come out with something like that, but not all that surprising if her mum says things like that.

It's our job as parents to train our DCs in how to behave in public. Obviously if this girl's mum boasts on Facebook about it, that isn't going to happen.

Hopefully your friend didn't get lots of likes in response??

She wasn't standing up for herself. She was being rude.

Feeling proud that you've raised an eight year old who can reliably employ passive aggression in social situations?

Really? I feel very sorry for any eight year old who has been conditioned to think and act in such a way tbh.

No, the dd wasn't wrong. I get that. But I don't think my friend's attitude towards her daughters outspoken reaction was good either. I'd hate any of my children to think that speaking to/about an adult like that was ok, far less something I'd be proud of.