Aibu to think this wasn't a proud mummy moment (or shouldn't have been?)

[WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat]

Before I go any further, I am changing some details as if the person who this is about read it, they would 100% know who I am and I don't need the grief. I just read this fb status update and my mind screamed "Mumsnet"!

So a friend of mine was waiting in line in a pharmacy for a prescription with her 8yo daughter. The line was long and the place was busy. There were apparently three children, aged between 5 and 10, all with same dad, who were running riot, picking things up and dropping them, shouting and bawling, climbing on the waiting chairs and jumping off, when apparently my friends dd said loudly, staring at said father "ugh, I just can't stand it when parents are too lazy to make their naughty children behave". According to my friend, the father looked angrily at her daughter and was 'about to say something', when another random customer apparently piped up 'well said, pet!'

To which my friend's reaction was "and too right, proud mummy moment, can not stand badly behaved kids myself".

Aibu in thinking that rather than be proud, my friend should have been mortified that her dd was so bloody rude? I mean, ok, maybe the children were being unruly and badly behaved, but is it really an 8 year olds place to loudly admonish the parent? I'd have been crawling out of the place apologetically and coming back for my prescription later, not puffing my chest proudly. Or am I wrong and my friend and her dd were in the right?

I don't think it's necessarily challenging bad behaviour that's being frowned upon but the fact that it was a child admonishing an adult loudly and publicly.

Tbf my friend is very smug on fb re her dc but I do generally quite like her in real life. I may choose the cowards way of hiding, rather than defriending her.

I think people are taking issue with the fact that an 8yo child challenged the behaviour, not the behaviour itself being challenged.

The part that is particularly odd to me is the child called out the parent on the kids' behaviour. Not the kids. Wouldn't normally kids comment on other kids' behaviour, eg. "Those kids are really badly behaved," not "I just can't stand it when parents are too lazy to make their naughty children behave". Not doubting you, OP, just the account of your friend seems off.

My dd did similar once aged 8. On a group holiday with friends kids upstairs watching tv. Dd came down outraged that demon child had shoved her off the bed - they too old for toddler shoving so this came as quite a shock.

Parents lovely but despite being incredibly high powered are the wettest parents ever. Dad said weakly " dd please don't do that" and gave her a hug. Demon child smirked. Dd usually the politest child ever said loudly " I cannot believe I have been shoved off a bed and the parents have done nothing about it".

If you are being a rubbish parent other adults may be too polite to say anything but kids often won't. Good!

No, I get what you mean claws, it does seem odd. But like a pp said, I really do think that it was a case of the dd parroting her mother, and it was this that I think my friend was seemingly 'proud' of.

It highlights the 8 year olds lack of social skills. Really mum and daughter should have waited till they had left before discussing. As a parent I would have been more empathic towards the other parent too - we all have bad days and imperfect children/parenting in one way or another.

If my 8 year old had said something like that in a queue, I'd have responded with 'I bet they have been doing a lot of queuing today!'

I know, btw OP love the name, I'm thinking love actually? I'm off work today and the weather is awfully, I may have to watch it.

People will post such smug stuff about DC's, I have one and I think majority of people have as muggy friend on FB. Don't get me wrong I post the odd thing about DD9 as she comes out with some funny corkers but bragging about your daughter being a snob in public? Nah.

As long as the kids weren't damaging or hurting anything I see no need for someone to step in. And if people do need to step in it can be done nicely with warmth rather then in a bitchy way

Wow! Her DD sounds like an obnoxious little madam!

An child has no place saying that. It's also a very odd thing for an 8 year old to say....she sounds like she's 8 going on 38

At 8 they should start keeping their thoughts to themselves. At 3, I wouldn't be that bothered, that's exactly what my kids would say at that age, they are just parroting what they are being told constantly and pressing on the fact that they are not naughty themselves. It's funny and it passes.
At 8, it's a bit old.

Maybe your friend did tell her not to discuss people in front of them, but was secretly proud and posted about it later on FB. You can agree with your kids whilst telling them off.

The comment was rude and the girl needs to learn what it's appropriate to say to strangers. It's not terrible but I wouldn't be proud either.

winter, thank you, yes Love Actually. My all time favourite film, but I only allow myself to watch it in December.

And of course I'll mention amusing anecdotes, funny things my dcs have done or said on Facebook (much to the disgust of mumsnet), but I just couldn't get behind any of my dcs being rude or condescending. I would hate to be seen as smug.

Don't you think for an 8 year old to have noticed and made the comment she really must have thought it was out of order.
She was talking to her mum, but it was aimed at the dad, which shows how bothered by the misbehaving the child felt.
Also someone else in the room agreed with an 8 year old.
There is no need every for children to do this, the second I saw my children upsetting people they were told to sit down, if you think this is ok then your in the wrong and need to think about whether you would be happy to be the person on the receiving end of someone else's screaming children.

It does sound a bit off, I agree.

Tbh if it's been put on Fb it's probably been embellished in some way anyway.
She knows that some people will absolutely jump on the idea of challenging bad behaviour, especially in a child!!!
Has she got lots of well said Hun, betcha so proud comments ?

Seriously? Children should be seen and not heard? On mums net? And not one person has commented on the crap parent letting his kids run riot. I have 3 and it wouldn't matter how ill I was or the kids were I would never allow them to behave like that. If I was in the queue and heard the exchange I would be thinking exactly what she said and I somehow doubt all these posters saying she is smug, stuck up etc about a CHILD, would have been judging her and her mother instead of the man whose kids were wrecking the place. Unless of course it's just all the parents who can't say no to their kids and think bad behaviour is free spirited that are up at the moment.

It was rude but probably parroting what her mother regularly said. The mother is more the issue here for not telling her off for saying it.

I'd have been agreeing with the 8 year old. What about the other potentially feeling like crap people in the pharmacy? Do they need to put up with badly behaved kids causing havoc? Do the pharmacy staff need to waste time having to go round afterwards and put everything back in the right place? And all because one parent couldn't be arsed to discipline his kids? Sorry but the 8 year old was spot on and wouldn't have had anything to say if the kids were under control. I think it's about time people started putting other people's feelings into the mix sometimes and not just thinking about themselves all the time.

Hmm don't normally start with the inventing a backstory thing but the poor guy could have been picking up a prescription for his sick DW and bringing the kids with him as she was too ill too look after them/give her a break. Poor guy could have been up all night. I know you wouldn't make the same assumption about a woman with three kids running riot. I might well roll my eyes and/or judge but in a pharmacy it's pretty clear that someone in the household is unwell and therefore surely one can cut a bit of slack?

The responses were, "hilarious!", "good for her, hope the parent was embarrassed", "comedy gold", "out of the mouths of babes", and "yes, parent's should engage their children, I hate it when they don't".

Fwiw, I don't think the kids behaviours were acceptable or nice for the surrounding customers. I just know how I'd have felt if my dc had said what my friends' did, I'd be annoyed at myself for not having taught my dc about filters and I'd be embarrassed. Not proud.

They were in a pharmacy. Shame we don't know why.

Dad could have been up all night with the kids, with an ill wife, ill parents, ill himself - and woooooo, an 8 year old then puts that icing firmly on the cake and tells him he's a crap parent.

The child (and the stranger and the mother come to that) needs to learn some empathy, and that situations are not always how they may appear at first sight.

Balloon I think the point is it must have been bad for an 8 year old to make the comment.
Why do we always have to find excuses. The dad was in the wrong.
A chemist is not a place to let children run around there is glass and medicine within reach of naughty hands.

Calpol is paracetamol - the side effects are the usual ones for paracetamol, and you can't be 'dosed up' on it.

My dc are for the most part really well behaved in public. They bicker, fight and get cheeky at home but everywhere else they do me proud.
Sometimes though, especially on a rainy day, if we've all been a bit ill, they can turn in to demons.
I obviously keep on top of it, but I am not always perfect and neither are my children.
I don't know how much of her post is actually true, because people love it when dc don't behave because they get to be the superior parent.

Your friends dd obviously picks up on that.

Good job you have changed some details because it sounds like the DD is a MNer