Children of the opposite sex in changing rooms

[Gatecrasher61]

OK - firstly I am not a parent (probably shouldn't be on here, but hey ho) so I am happy to be corrected.

Our local swimming pool has open changing rooms, no cubicles. I tend to go swimming after work, which is just before the kids swimming lessons. When the kids arrive, I am normally getting dressed in the changing room after my shower.

Often women come into the changing room with their sons who are between 8-11 and are often greeted with the sight of me starkers! Probably not a good sight as I am middle aged and a size 14 on a good day, but there is no where else to go!

Now I know that other women have complained about this but have been told that the Mums are not happy for their boys to go into the men's changing rooms are they are not able to dress themselves and also don't like them being there with male adults who are strangers.

I learnt to swim when I was six and a half. My Dad used to take me to a swimming club where I had lessons and I had to prove that I could get dry and change myself and also sort out my kit.

Now I realise that boys are different, but is it really appropriate for boys of that age to be in the women's room? Surely they should be able to dress themselves at the age of six or seven?

Hmmm, now why did I never think of teaching him to change himself before

Children under 8 to be accompanied at our baths. I take my 4 year old DS into the changing room with me but he goes into the men's loo himself though and I wait in the pathway outside to learn him independence

Bold you'll learn him good there you will!

Ah I see.... it isn;t that they can't get dressed it is in case the NASTY PEADO gets them.

The chance of your 8 year old boy getting abused by a stranger man in the male changing rooms after swimming is freakishly small.

The chance of your lovely jubily male partner abusing you child.... much, much higher.

What happened there? It put 'bold' in bold.

It should've said: Arewethereyet

Hipster - exactly. Someone said earlier that their young son doesn't want the pp's husband to see him naked - why? That is more alarming than getting changed in the correct changing room.

Your child will not be photographed or touched etc - it is such a remote chance.

I wouldn't want my 8 year old to see a random woman naked but I also wouldn't want to be naked in front of a child so it goes both ways

But if there aren't cubicles what are these "random" women offensively being naked while they get changed in the changing room going to do? Why should women have to creep about under towels in the women's changing room?

athome not sure if you're been sarcastic or rude there, yes it will teach him - when he becomes old enough to go in the changing room himself he will already have been used to leaving me for periods of time in the baths even if it is just to go to the loo.

HareTodayDragonTomorrow - i'm not saying I don't get it - I do .....I have 4 disabled children (my 10 and 12 yr old still can't quite manage) .....but as i've said my dh comes home early to facilitate swimming lessons.

what i won't allow is you changing your over 8 yr old boy in front of my DD - and I won't apologise for that

@HareTodayDragonTomorrow - you should be prepared to be shouted down then. I have and will do it as I am sick to death of your kind of attitude. It's your fault you haven't raised your 8 yo son to get dressed by himself. Why should my 8 yo daughter who can dress herself and uses the correct changing suffer because of it. Don't take him swimming if he can't take care of himself.

And mine would be sacked if he left work for two hours in the middle of the day for a week.
And DD can't do the one a week courses because of DS's therapy appointments. So I suppose she should miss out because DS has SN and DS should miss out on an activity that the drs say is beneficial to him because he has SN. I can't take him in the pool any other time because I can't supervise both, only when DD is in a lesson.

Good grief what did all these boys used to do. My db would go in the men's changing rooms probably earlier than 8. Not on imo. Females should have priority.

I have boys and they can change themselves but I do worry about paedophiles. 8 is still young and I know that changing rooms and toilets are favoured haunting grounds for them.

I don't think its unusual for 8 year old or even 9 year old boys to not want to go alone into changing rooms. I also think girls alone in female changing rooms are more likely to get assistance from other women should they need it. I have a very young looking 10 year old and occasionally took him into the ladies changing rooms. He is not remotely interested in seeing adult women changing. He is a child.

But cap

It's not just about your ds and what hes bothered by.

His female classmates don't want him to see them naked.

This has happened a few times where we live. Boys who definitely looked older than 8 with their mums, although I get that they may have just looked old for their age. And they were looking.

I don't care and neither do my younger two but my 9 and 11 year old daughters care a lot. Especially the 11 year old. In the pool we swim in over winter there are shower cubicles, an open changing area and toilets in the pool we swim in in winter. The showers are busy with queues and this has left her wanting to get dried and dressed in the toilet.

Bangs head against wall.
Capriana - it isn't about your son and whether he is interested or not. It is about girls and their privacy.
Stop teaching your son that his needs are more important than girls, they aren't.

Where are all these boys Fathers? Tell them to take their sons swimming!

Cap I do not want your pre-pubescent son to change in front of my DD....its that simple.....
She doesn't see her 10 year old brothers penis - I certainly don't want her seeing your son's.

Feel free to bang your head. My son also wants to go swimming and if unisex changing rooms are not provided he could not. I also have a daughter and I raise her not to worry about 8 year old boys in changig rooms. They are just small children for goodness sake. Stop being hysterical.

Also, aside from the privacy issue, in the identically sized male and female changing rooms at our pool, no queues for the men's showers, plenty of space to change; 20 min queues for the females and jam packed changing areas.

NT MALES 8 & OVER. GET THE FUCK OUT OF FEMALE CHANGING ROOMS.

My 11 year old isn't but physically a "small child" anymore and she's self conscious about being naked in a way she wasn't a few years ago. She wouldn't want to change with a 10 year old boy.

Course he can cap

You tell him to get his arse into the men's facilities.

He manages in school doesn't he?

Your son can indeed go swimming capriana, even if unisex changing rooms aren't provided. He can go in the male changing rooms on his own.

Giles, are you me?!? That's twice in a row we've cross posted!