Children of the opposite sex in changing rooms

[Gatecrasher61]

OK - firstly I am not a parent (probably shouldn't be on here, but hey ho) so I am happy to be corrected.

Our local swimming pool has open changing rooms, no cubicles. I tend to go swimming after work, which is just before the kids swimming lessons. When the kids arrive, I am normally getting dressed in the changing room after my shower.

Often women come into the changing room with their sons who are between 8-11 and are often greeted with the sight of me starkers! Probably not a good sight as I am middle aged and a size 14 on a good day, but there is no where else to go!

Now I know that other women have complained about this but have been told that the Mums are not happy for their boys to go into the men's changing rooms are they are not able to dress themselves and also don't like them being there with male adults who are strangers.

I learnt to swim when I was six and a half. My Dad used to take me to a swimming club where I had lessons and I had to prove that I could get dry and change myself and also sort out my kit.

Now I realise that boys are different, but is it really appropriate for boys of that age to be in the women's room? Surely they should be able to dress themselves at the age of six or seven?

Sorry but 8 he will be getting himself changed at school by himself etc he may even be going swimming with the school and getting changed. He would have to be very immature to not manage to go in tge mens changing room by himself.
He would even be allowed in the pool by himself if he was a good swimmer, so all this nonsense about being too young is down to the parent unless there is some form of SEN, which hasnt been mentioned.

I work in a school and go/supervise swimming regularly with children aged 8-9. The vast vast majority can dress themselves, only one in around forty or so requires help for medical reasons or because they have a disability. The rights of these children should definitely be respected but they are a small minority.

It's fairly simple I think; 8 and over in correct changing room for their sex. Children over 8 with SN who need help from opposite sex parents can use the accessible changing room. There is almost always one available and this would be a legitimate use, surely?

The issue here is the style of the changing rooms not the kids or their parents. There should be unisex cubicle facilities in any decent swimming pool these days.
Children are all individuals and develop at different rates, a one size fits all rule just isn't going to work.

Quite how many children even with som additional needs can't get changed on their own? Take off cossie, towel off, put on fleecy onsie- get home to shower and get dressed properly.

I'm the school swimming examples, the 8/9 year olds are supervised are they not?

If any of these children have additional needs then it is their parents who should campaign for better facilities. I'm surprised that if there's not a single disabled facility.

However, my guess would be precious mothers who don't care about the women and girls in the changing room who don't want 8+ boys staring at them.

*In

You might as well stop worrying about it I'm afraid OP. Once the gender identity bill has been pushed through no one will have the right to sex segregated privacy in any situation.

I'm confused. There's communal and male changing? Because surely that's the issue?

Mu son has a visual impairment and can change and dry himself but can't negotiate through the changing rooms. Although he couldn't see your naked body it wouldn't be obvious to you.

Before it becomes a rant about trans women...

I don't like it when there are two parents, one male one female, yet the 8+ boy goes with his fecking mum to get changed. I've called that out several times to the manager of my gym (private thank goodness) and each time they've had to practically force the male parent to take the boy with them. I wouldn't mind so much if the boy was transitioning to female - at least then she'd have a good reason to avoid the mens changing room.

Hipster, my 9 year old son with ASD can dry and dress himself on his own , but gets easily distracted and without prompts he would literally take 30 minutes plus. He also has no danger awareness and does not understand boundaries and would speak to anyone/leave with a stranger without fear. He also has sensory issues with his mouth and stomach and without my vigilance would lick people or press his stomach against them. There's no way he could go into the men's without his dad! He's not exactly unusual for a child his age with ASD either!

Oh and those with dc with SN should campaign for suitable changing rooms?
Let's add that to the never ending list of extra shit we have to do.

Genghi I agree , Dh always takes the boys with him if we go swimming on holiday where there are single sex changing rooms. Wouldn't dream of taking them in with me when dh is there.

I rarely go without dh, but when we do the changing room is unisex and cubicled.

Seeing as its been brought up, I also don't agree with men identifing as women and not transitioning using the women's changing rooms.

Not intending to rant in the slightest, just pointing out a fact. The days of being able to access sex segregated facilities are numbered, and being uncomfortable about it is no longer going to be relevant.

No cubicles at all is the unreasonable thing IMHO.

Unless a child has SEN they should be able to change themselves by 8. And for those with SEN there should be family changing rooms.

You should be able to be without clothes in a changing room without it being an issue.

So there's male and unisex? Nothing else. That seems like the problem. I'm ok with unisex but with cubicles so people can have all the privacy they want.

if it helps ill send ds who told the life guard at the pool of all the health and safety mistakes in the changing rooms. Nothing like a 7 y/o explaining why he can manage a surface change and they need to mark edges more clearly.

RiverTam, parents of children with additional needs shouldn't have to campaign for basic facilities, facilities that you take for granted.

Yanbu.
I get extremely cross about this, you often see 8-10 year old boys in girls changing rooms.

Great way to send a message to children that a boys rights to break the rules, trumps a girls right to have privacy. Boys are, afterall, far more important than girls.

My DS just turned 7 and I tried to encourage him to go into the men's but he freaked out about it. He was very nervous about going in alone so I'm going to leave it until he's 8.
It was far more of a confidence being on his own thing than capable of dressing thing.
There are often plenty of boys his age in our changing rooms anyway.
Fwiw, we go straight to the cubicle and get changed there. I'm fairly casual about nudity at home though (e.g.he'll often come chat to me in the bath or matter at me while I'm getting dressed) and he doesn't bat an eyelid at naked strangers in the change rooms. Dont think he even notices them tbh.

Parents of children with disabilities should not have to campaign for accessible changing faculties. They must provided. And parents of children with disabilities spend most of their time campaigning for one adjustment after another anyway.

I like the unisex changing areas with cubicles. Work well for us. My ten year old needs supervision and support with clothes as changing:

I can't believe there are still swimming pools without cubicles in the changing rooms. I've been swimming since the late 60's and never been in such a pool.
I agree with the poster who said unisex changing villages are the best solution. My local pool was renovated 3 years ago, we now have a unisex changing village with disabled cubicles, family cubicles, larger rooms for the school groups and individual cubicles, all locking. No one is allowed to remove their costume outside of a cubicle or individual shower. Problem solved.

Ours is 5 and has a few cubicles. There is nothing more irritating than being in a woman's changing room with someone's 10 year old who can't dry themselves properly despite not having any additional support needs. There's always 1 boy in a class who's been babied so long they have 0 skills. I'll never forget the list of skills given out on a school residential trip that including getting dressed, brushing teeth, cutting meat, or pouring a drink. According to the HT, every years there's a couple of NT boys who have no idea how to do it because they've never been made too. And men who won't take their own sons into a change room need to fuck right off (this applies to public toilets as well).

If i see any boys over 8 in the female changing room i ask them to use the males changing room....and point out the posters on the changing room door highlighting the rule.
I do not see why my DD should be made to feel uncomfortable with boys going through puberty getting dressed in front of her.
As a family we are affected by the rule - we have children older than 8 with special needs, who have to use the gender specific changing rooms, this causes great difficulty with swimming lessons as parents with work etc....we make sure the right gender parent is available to take the right child to the swim class.
(there is no unisex or disabled changing room)

i'm afraid my attitude is if i can manage it with 5 kids - 4 with special needs, you can manage to get your kid in the right changing room too!

I had a problem with this once. It never really bothered me having boys in the changing room with their mums when I was on my own. But one day I had my DD with me (she was aged 9 at the time). Just as she was fully starkers wriggling out of her cozzie a little boy from her class walked in with his mum. I could have died for her. To have a boy from school see you without your knickers on... well, it was not good. We always went to a different pool with individual cubby areas after that.