Children of the opposite sex in changing rooms

[Gatecrasher61]

OK - firstly I am not a parent (probably shouldn't be on here, but hey ho) so I am happy to be corrected.

Our local swimming pool has open changing rooms, no cubicles. I tend to go swimming after work, which is just before the kids swimming lessons. When the kids arrive, I am normally getting dressed in the changing room after my shower.

Often women come into the changing room with their sons who are between 8-11 and are often greeted with the sight of me starkers! Probably not a good sight as I am middle aged and a size 14 on a good day, but there is no where else to go!

Now I know that other women have complained about this but have been told that the Mums are not happy for their boys to go into the men's changing rooms are they are not able to dress themselves and also don't like them being there with male adults who are strangers.

I learnt to swim when I was six and a half. My Dad used to take me to a swimming club where I had lessons and I had to prove that I could get dry and change myself and also sort out my kit.

Now I realise that boys are different, but is it really appropriate for boys of that age to be in the women's room? Surely they should be able to dress themselves at the age of six or seven?

Stop being hysterical.

I did not take him in at the age of 10, though I did at the age of just 9.

Wow you guys are frothing at the mouth of little boys in womens changing rooms😂

Wow you guys are frothing at the mouth of little boys in womens changing rooms

cap if your child doesn't have any additional needs there is no reason they can't get changed themselves. You might not feel comfortable about it but that is your issue and not the problem of the women and girls who have a right to change in a single sexed facility.

I'm at the pool a lot for job and hobby and what I find interesting is this...
Dd, 8, is at swim club (they take from 8) and they all get changed in their respective changing rooms. Parents all wait outside. She would be mortified if I came in with her, and there's no way on earth a boy would be in there.
Dd, 6, is at swimming lessons where children up to age 10 swim. Boys over 8 galore in female changing rooms. Same town, why the different mindset?

Some people do love to get worked up don't they? I don't know about you lot but when I'm in the changing rooms I don't tend to run around starkers waving my genitals in people's faces, and I don't suppose a child being supervised by their parent is likely to either. It's actually possible to get changed without anyone gazing at anyone else's genitals believe it or not.
I'm glad my ds hasn't been raised to be terrified of other children's bodies.

@Cap lets see if your daughter feels the same when her male class mates start bullying her because he saw her naked body. Or takes a photo and distributes it at school (that used to happen a lot in my area hence why I only use private gyms where my dd and I can count on proper attended changing rooms).

At the pool I use there are often boys who look older than 8 in the changing rooms. I know several people are uncomfortable with that. There are family changing facilities but the mums seem reluctant to use them and you'd get your head in your hands if you suggested it. Also, the club won't put obvious signs up re the age limit because it is not the "style" of the club to have notices!

If one lone poster was getting 'worked up' about it, it might be that they're hysterical. But, when a rather large majority are getting worked up about it, maybe it's time to consider why?

Genghi, I don't think my daughter ever worried about boys in changing rooms. She just changed and wasn't going around looking at penises like a previous poster seemed to think her dd would be doing if around boys.

If people take photos of naked people in your local gym, you really wonder why mums don't like their young boys going into changing rooms alone?

I'm not getting worked up, I don't care who sees me naked and I'm not going to faff around behind a towel as that slows things down.

But why should my 11 year old daughter have to change in front of someone who could be in her class? It makes her feel like she needs to hide her body and that's not ok. With just women and very young children in there she's not "waving her genitals in anyone's faces" but she also doesn't feel like she needs to change in a toilet, either.

I am a Mum of 5 girls and 1 boy, who is ten. He comes in to the ladies with us. Firstly, he doesn't feel comfortable in the gents, secondly, he would be waiting round outside the changing rooms on his own for ages otherwise.

I've not given it much thought other than what he prefers.

Good point about women babying their sons but not daughters

@Caprianna - just in case it wasn't clear it was the boys who their mums brought into the changing rooms who took the photos.

Surely ten is old enough to wait outside. Don't kids of that age walk to and from school go to shop etc

There really are some appallingly selfish people on this thread.

If you aren't happy for your 8+ son to use the male changing room alone then it is your responsibility to find a solution which doesn't ride roughshod over the rights of women and girls to female only changing spaces.

I am staggered at how entitled some posters are who think that girls / women should just shut up and put up and sacrifice their right to change away from men.

@nolongersurprised agreed. My 10 yo dd and 8 yo dd were brought up to be a normal self-sufficient human. Early periods/puberty run in the family and dd10 has already started, while DD2 is growing breasts already. Would get quite shouty if another mum thought it appropriate to bring in her son of the same age because she hasn't raised him properly (I can understand accomodating for SEN but don't understand attitudes like Cap's).

debbs - why is it a problem that your 10 year old son is waiting for ages outside the girls changing room?
Why is he not comfortable in the mens?
Why are his feeling more important than the feelings of the girls who are in the correct place to change?

and Cap - my DD doesn't go around looking at Penis' as your post implied....I just would prefer she didn't have to see pre-pubescent penis' in the female changing rooms that she has the given right to change in with dignity and privacy.

'I've not given it much thought other than what he prefers.'

Quite right. He's male after all, so what he prefers is the only thing to consider.

Boston, sorry I find your post hilarious. You seem very worried about your daughter seeing a pre pubescent penis. What on earth could happen? Has she never seen a penis? I would be worried about her if she cannot tolerate a sight of a young boys baked body to be honest.

For those those mums of "immature" 10 year old boys who are just "little kids" 10 is not too young to teach them that girls of their age are quite likely changing physically andmay be self-conscious about their bodies. The default position for 10 year old boys changing in a female changing room shouldn't be what those boys want.

It's not just about what she would see. He'll it's easy to just say don't look ffs.

Can't you honestly not fathom.that a yking girl hitting puberty does not want to he seen naked by a kid she goes to school with or will shortly go to school with or see outside of school etc.

Lots of 10 yo's without SEN with low IQs on this thread

And how on earth are the girls feeling uncomfortable the ones on the sodding wrong

Debts appallingly infantilised. He's 10 he needs to learn his preferences aren't what the world rotates about. He shouldn't be in the women's changing area.
I'm quite unflustered about nakedness but I've seen lads staring and either looking embarrassed or giggling. It's entirely inappropriate at that age. He'll be at secondary school next year.