Children of the opposite sex in changing rooms

[Gatecrasher61]

OK - firstly I am not a parent (probably shouldn't be on here, but hey ho) so I am happy to be corrected.

Our local swimming pool has open changing rooms, no cubicles. I tend to go swimming after work, which is just before the kids swimming lessons. When the kids arrive, I am normally getting dressed in the changing room after my shower.

Often women come into the changing room with their sons who are between 8-11 and are often greeted with the sight of me starkers! Probably not a good sight as I am middle aged and a size 14 on a good day, but there is no where else to go!

Now I know that other women have complained about this but have been told that the Mums are not happy for their boys to go into the men's changing rooms are they are not able to dress themselves and also don't like them being there with male adults who are strangers.

I learnt to swim when I was six and a half. My Dad used to take me to a swimming club where I had lessons and I had to prove that I could get dry and change myself and also sort out my kit.

Now I realise that boys are different, but is it really appropriate for boys of that age to be in the women's room? Surely they should be able to dress themselves at the age of six or seven?

I can cope with a boy but 11 year old girls shouldn't be inconvenienced by an 11 year old boy. Why is he being prioritized over the girl in the women's changing room?

Usually 8 is the cut off I thought.

Changing "village" for all with cubicles is better though.

YANBU boys 8+ shouldn't be in the ladies changing room.

What from?
They are in a female changing room, there are going to be naked females. If that offends then go somewhere else.

As I said, in my last post, the naked females in changing rooms would not offend me, it is to be expected. OP seemed bothered about being naked in front of the boys. I meant protected from people challenging, in an abusive manner, why mothers were helping their children change. Which can happen. Not saying the Op is guilty of this.

I don't know many 10 year old girls that would be comfortable getting changed in front of 10 year old boys.

A lot of the 8-11 brigade are already sleazy little sods eager to get an eyeful. I've observed that frequently, in changing rooms.

Women's spaces should be for women. Mothers who want to protect their boys from potential abuse should take them to a family area. No family area? Find a new pool.

They are in a female changing room, there are going to be naked females. If that offends then go somewhere else.

^ This. Completely absurd to suggest that OP covers up in a bloody changing room just in case it offends someone! MN at its ludicrous best.

claritytobeclear What about the needs of the girls and women who don't want your son there when they change?

My DD has ASD. She is 9 but tall and is developing fast. She gets acutely embarrassed about boys in the changing room seeing her body. What about her needs?

Of course not. But if only her father were available to take her swimming and the pool only had segregated changing rooms, what would you advise?

What about the needs of the girls and women who don't want your son there when they change?

My son changes in the male changing rooms. I can just see the circumstances where this could be difficult and sympathise, that is all.

My 8 year old DS has just started swimming lessons. I bring him into a cubicle in ladies changing room. He is too young to go into men's room on his own. He is not interested in getting an eyeful of anyone unless someone had a tattoo of Darth Vader on their bum as a big Star Wars fan!

I really think there should be unisex changing rooms with cubicles at all pools, but i also have never been in a pool changing room that doesn't have some cubicles for those who want the privacy.

I also have a dd who turns 12 in 2 weeks who is also very body conscious and would get embarrassed changing in front of boys(and girls/women!) She changes in a cubicle.

claritytobeclear Okay, so what about the needs of the women and girls who don't want the hypothetical boy there?

You've implied it's fine to take a boy into the women's changing rooms if there's no unisex option, and that it would be awful of women or girls to object. I disagree.

Sorry, i meant to add that my dd also has ASD!

claritytobeclear

Would you actually subject the girl in your question to the male changing rooms?

Or would you make a big fuss and make the men leave?

I think that it is terrible that pools do not provide changing facilities for people that need support. One of the nearest to me has no unisex accessible changing facilities. I still don't think it is reasonable to take a boy of that age into the women's change.

My DD is capable of dressing herself so not an issue. Would take her bloody ages as she is easily distracted.

Iggity
He is no too young to go into mens by himself, unless you have babified him.

Bruffin, all children develop at a different rate, just because a child isn't as developed as another the same age doesn't mean they've been "babified". It's a cheap insult anyway.

Real minorities should, of course, be protected from persecution etc. But that's not what we're talking about here is it? Let's not link some precious parents to the battle of minorities. That would be hyperbole at its purest.

I wouldn't mind a 10 year old girl being in the men's changing room, but I would if their father expected me to do a towel shimmy or go into a cubicle.

At my pool 8yos have to change in the correct sex changing rooms. I think that's about right, my DS2 certainly was ready to go in the men's at about 6yo!

I think it's more about 12yo girls tbh, don't want 10yo boys looking at them. What is the rule at your pool op?

For those with SN BTW we have disabled changing, that should be a giveb

Mine aren't 8 yet. But soon it'll be an issue when DH takes DD swimming. She's perfectly capable of drying and dressing herself. I don't have a problem with her being in a women's changing room on her own. Until a person with a penis and XY chromosomes turns up self identifying as a woman. I guess when she's turns 8 and on the days her DF takes her swimming my DD is going to have to self identify as my DS.

8 plus should be in own sex changing room.

If an 11 yr old wants to stare at me it's his lunch coming back up and I don't really care but my dds have the right to get changed and feel comfortable doing so. I'm also not really bothered about accidental sightings of boys getting changed.

However there really should be cubicles for those who feel they want them or need them. If the area is unisex it really should say so people can make an informed choice.

But no kids over 8 don't belong in opposite sex changing rooms

They need some family changing rooms. My 9 yr old and 6 yr old have sen - there non way I could let them get changed by themselves in separate changing room.