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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids not allowed - AIBU?

496 replies

SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 12:21

Very happy to be told I'm BU but please go gentle if I've somehow been doing things wrong here!!

I've just been turned away from my appointment at clinic where I've been having laser hair removal...because I had my kids with me. It's a 10 minute procedure which I've been having a course of over months so I've always left them (either one or both) sitting on the chairs in reception with my phone to watch tv (very quietly) or pencils and colouring pads. They never run around or misbehave as they've done this a lot - I'm a single mum and have previously lived abroad with them so often haven't had anyone to watch them and just had to bring them with me everywhere.

This clinic is nationwide (uk) and I've been to various locations for a couple of other (quick) procedures and left the kids in reception (the reception is always very quiet and receptionists always offer to keep an eye). I know it's not ideal but figured it's just what people do. Have I got this totally wrong?? This is the first time I've ever been told it's not okay, but it's the first time I've brought them to this particular clinic location. They told me I could leave the kids sitting in the costa coffee opposite (obviously I was never going to do that!) or get someone to watch them...which is going to be really tricky for me. I can't see why I can't leave them sitting safely in their reception for 10 mins like I've always done. So AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
Dancergirl · 01/08/2017 19:42

What sort of salons don't deal with strong chemicals, heat, sharps etc

Not in the waiting room though. It's the same as any other waiting rooms at the dentist, doctor and so on.

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed · 01/08/2017 19:43

If the op wants to take her kids to a salon then she needs to pick a different salon.

What's the big deal?

InfiniteCurve · 01/08/2017 19:44

Suppose those children fall over/hurt themselves/choke or get abducted by aliens

Well behaved 7 yr olds sitting quietly playing on an iPad or whatever aren't at particularly high risk of falling or choking, and I've never worried a great deal about alien abduction!!
In the event of behaviour likely to damage either children or property the reception staff don't have to discipline or deal with it, as implied for me by "babysitting" . They go straight away and get Mum.

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed · 01/08/2017 19:44

The rules are no kids. The op has been breaking them and getting away with it for years and now the rules are being enforced.

I'll bet it's an insurance risk at least in part. And the rules around risks of fire etc - which often seem draconian but are a condition of insurance.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 01/08/2017 19:45

This is why I use a mobile hairdresser, there's nothing worse than wanting a quiet couple of hours having something nice done to get there to find others think it's free childcare.

TinselTwins · 01/08/2017 19:45

And if the kid decides to go and find mum because they feel ill or need the toilet the receptionist is supposed to physically restrain them?

It's not hard to not take your kid to the salon (unlike doctors appointments etc). You just go when they're in school or a friends house etc or don't go. Or pay for childcare. It's not a hardship Hmm The OP just wanted free childminding services from a receptionist in an adult oriented job! A doctors receptionist expects to be seeing kids

Dancergirl · 01/08/2017 19:47

But it's never been a problem at this salon before until now, and actually if you read the OP again, it says receptionists OFFER to keep an eye on the kids. No enforced babysitting or anything out of the job description there Hmm

TinselTwins · 01/08/2017 19:48

it says receptionists OFFER to keep an eye on the kids
When put on the spot with the choice of having kids in the treatment room or in reception they do

That is NOT the same as freely offering to babysit, don't you seee that?

Dancergirl · 01/08/2017 19:48

infinite I only mentioned the choking because it was brought up upthread by someone concerned that this was a possible risk (in ten minutes with no food Grin)

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed · 01/08/2017 19:49

Maybe they've had a warning from insurances following s claim?

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed · 01/08/2017 19:50

Maybe there have been a ton of people bringing kids and other patrons have complained so they've decided to tighten up?

TinselTwins · 01/08/2017 19:50

You don't have a god given right to bring your kids absolutely everywhere even if you're personally going to be pre-disposed and unable to supervise them yourself

You just don't
That's the bottom line!

Liadain · 01/08/2017 19:52

Yes, receptionists offer to keep an eye on kids - that's a choice, they aren't unreasonable to decide to not do it. It is BU to complain that they don't want to do free babysitting.

I don't blame the receptionist, minding children isnt part of the job. You live and learn, op.

DeadGood · 01/08/2017 19:52

"don't expect me to stop your kid crying etc especially while I'm doing my job. Sorry OP."

The OP didn't ask anyone to do this.

"But if a stranger turned up at my office and said hey look after these two they're no trouble and then left. I wouldn't be happy."

The OP didn't ask anyone to look after her children. She merely wanted them to be in the same room as somebody.

"If I had an appointment with your boss could you look after my two kids? Is that in your job description? They are wild and will prevent you from doing the job you are paid for"

The OP's children aren't wild, they sit quietly until their mother returns.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 01/08/2017 19:53

Dancergirl - actually I think you should read the ops posts again. She said it's the same chain of salons but this is a new one she hasn't been to before

Also - op has checked beforehand about bringing the children. This time she didn't. So this particular clinic isn't comfortable. No big deal. They don't have to allow unsupervised children

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 01/08/2017 19:54

Deadgood - you're splitting hairs. If someone turned up at my office and then just left a couple of kids with me then. Is that ok?

TinselTwins · 01/08/2017 19:54

Or maybe the receptionist does enjoy babysitting, when it's a quiet/boring day at work, but that day she had a lot of call-backs and emails to send and needed to crack on and plough through it otherwise she wouldn't get to leave on time to go home to her family

The OP was wrong to assume that a previous favour obliged the receptionists to an unlimited amount of future favours!

The OP was UR in a lot of ways

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 01/08/2017 19:57

She merely wanted them to be in the same room as somebody
What does that mean? isn't that the same thing as looking after them? Otherwise what's the point in having them in the same room - you might as well leave them on their own

TinselTwins · 01/08/2017 19:57

The OP didn't ask anyone to look after her children. She merely wanted them to be in the same room as somebody

Nope
Leaving children unsupervised in the same room as the receptionist is NOT in the same ballpark as children just happening to be in the space, with their own responsible adult. It's totally different. If the kids decided to piss off out the door and run down the street cause they say their bestie passing would it be okay if the receptionist just carried on with her work with barely a glance? COURSE the OP wouldn't be okay with that! so she wasn't "merely" leaving her children in someone's proximity!

DeadGood · 01/08/2017 19:58

"It's not hard to not take your kid to the salon (unlike doctors appointments etc). You just go when they're in school or a friends house etc or don't go. Or pay for childcare. It's not a hardship"

Paying for childcare is a hardship. Of course it is! Are you saying that you'd be happy to pay £20 for 2 hours childcare, on top of what you've saved up already for a treatment, even though you thought you could take your kids with you (as you'd only be in the treatment room next door for 10 minutes)?

£20 to some people is a lot of money. People on these threads love to airily insist that everyone "pay for childcare" at the drop of a hat.

worridmum · 01/08/2017 20:00

sadly if there could even remotely be a blame there is a claim.....

basically if anything happened to the children the OP would be able to sue and many a parent does so.

I had case were a child was running around a clothes shop unsupervised and messing around some displays was told not too by staff mother told staff you cannot tell children what too do

Said display fell on said child and injured them mother sued......

DeadGood · 01/08/2017 20:02

"She merely wanted them to be in the same room as somebody
What does that mean? isn't that the same thing as looking after them? Otherwise what's the point in having them in the same room - you might as well leave them on their own"

Yes, that is exactly my point. If I were the OP, I would be happy to leave my 6 and 7 year old in an empty room next to the room I was in. Behind a closed door, in an enclosed space.

The fact that a receptionist also happens to be in the room is neither here nor there.

So no, being in the same room as them is not 'looking after them'. The receptionist doesn't have to engage with them, look at them or talk to them. The OP wasn't expecting anyone to be a babysitter. That's why they have colouring in to do and TV to watch.

I spent many hours in the corner of hair salons while my mother got those old-fashioned highlights with the plastic bonnet. No one gave a hoot. No one was charged with looking after me when my mother was next door having her hair washed. I just sat there and read.

TinselTwins · 01/08/2017 20:03

Paying for childcare is a hardship

Paying for necessary childcare is
Paying for childcare to go and do something entirely optional is not!

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 01/08/2017 20:03

The OP didn't ask anyone to look after her children. She merely wanted them to be in the same room as somebody.

Which by definition means she wanted her to keep an eye on them.

Not their job. Not their responsibility.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 01/08/2017 20:04

Deadgood - seriously? No ones saying pay for childcare like it's the easiest thing ever.
But if you can save for treatment. You can save for childcare. You just have to factor it in

I can't honestly believe people would prioritise a treatment over their children's welfare.