Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids not allowed - AIBU?

496 replies

SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 12:21

Very happy to be told I'm BU but please go gentle if I've somehow been doing things wrong here!!

I've just been turned away from my appointment at clinic where I've been having laser hair removal...because I had my kids with me. It's a 10 minute procedure which I've been having a course of over months so I've always left them (either one or both) sitting on the chairs in reception with my phone to watch tv (very quietly) or pencils and colouring pads. They never run around or misbehave as they've done this a lot - I'm a single mum and have previously lived abroad with them so often haven't had anyone to watch them and just had to bring them with me everywhere.

This clinic is nationwide (uk) and I've been to various locations for a couple of other (quick) procedures and left the kids in reception (the reception is always very quiet and receptionists always offer to keep an eye). I know it's not ideal but figured it's just what people do. Have I got this totally wrong?? This is the first time I've ever been told it's not okay, but it's the first time I've brought them to this particular clinic location. They told me I could leave the kids sitting in the costa coffee opposite (obviously I was never going to do that!) or get someone to watch them...which is going to be really tricky for me. I can't see why I can't leave them sitting safely in their reception for 10 mins like I've always done. So AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
Willyoujustbequiet · 01/08/2017 17:52

Yanbu. as long as they are well behaved and not too young.

My beauticians, nail bar and hairdressers welcome kids and as a lone parent I've taken them countless times. No one else is responsible except me and they just sit and read.

I'd never have a life living in a rural area with no other childcare if I didn't.

Elmleaisnotcream · 01/08/2017 17:55

It's highly unlikely that the public liability policy will have unaccompanied children in the exclusions. It wouldn't invalidate insurance in this scenario. IF such a clause existed in the wording, insurance just wouldn't cover any associated cost but it's not an invalidated policy.

StoorieHoose · 01/08/2017 18:01

Where do all you posters work who expect the receptionist to watch the kids during these appointments? I assume that you would be happy to add child care responsibilities to your work load? I'm betting no so why should the receptionist? Laser treatment is totally different from an doc and hairdresser appointment

FrancisCrawford · 01/08/2017 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floggingmolly · 01/08/2017 18:25

Whether the op expected the receptionist to look after them or not is not even the real issue. The company policy is not "The Receptionist will not take responsibility for your children.".
It's "No unaccompanied children on the premises".
It wasn't actually her decision to take the risk.

FrancisCrawford · 01/08/2017 18:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dancergirl · 01/08/2017 18:39

This thread is so sad.

Makes me want to live in a different country where it really does take a village to raise a child, and people help and look out for each other.

redexpat · 01/08/2017 18:41

I think thee clinic were a bit UR actually on the basis that theyve let you do it before but changed the rule and not informed you. If it had been up to me I would have allowed them to stay today on the understanding that any future appts would be child free.

redexpat · 01/08/2017 18:42

Oh I misread that its the first time youve been to that particular location. Then no one was BU really.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 01/08/2017 18:43

Dancergirl, I'd happily watch a friends child when they went for an appointment but I'd not be happy for a stranger to leave me with two children I don't know because they want a beauty treatment and don't want to pay for childcare.

OP could have gone when they were at school or during when they are in normal childcare i.e. Lunch hour, straight after work etc.

Dancergirl · 01/08/2017 18:45

Well, possibly the same thing that might happen if they sat in Costa across the road.
As in - absolutely nothing. Only one is a place where they don't allow unacvompsnied minors and other is a coffee shop

Can you really not see the difference? One is a completely separate building on the other side of the road. The other is in the same building where they are separated from their mother only by a door.

Dancergirl · 01/08/2017 18:46

because they want a beauty treatment and don't want to pay for childcare

Read the thread rainbows Not everyone has the luxury of being able to afford childcare. And in any case, it's ridiculous to pay for childcare for a ten minute appointment.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 01/08/2017 18:50

If the OP can afford laser treatment then they can afford a babysitter.

Some places are not suitable for children nor are the children anyone else's responsibility.

Dancergirl · 01/08/2017 18:52

If the OP can afford laser treatment then they can afford a babysitter

Errmm no. Read the thread. I hate it when people make such generalised statements. Lots of people can only afford one thing or the other! It makes no sense to assume if you can afford one, you can afford the other.

I really can't believe that we live in a society with such little kindness.

reetgood · 01/08/2017 18:52

@dancergirl I'm fully in support of taking an inclusive approach to raising a child. However receptionists don't necessarily form part of your child's village. Receptionists are people who get to decide what they are comfortable with (and will take in a account what the policy is). A customer facing role is still a job, I get the sense that there's the feeling of 'oh it's no trouble, she/ he isn't doing anything else'. I also wonder why all this 'it takes a village' stuff comes up when it's to do with what other people should do and less when it comes to consideration of our own roles.

Dancergirl · 01/08/2017 18:54

reet the children don't need babysitting. They are sitting there quietly reading or watching something. For ten minutes. The OP knows her own children and has risk assessed herself if she thinks it's ok. No matter what other children of the same age would be like in the same situation, the OP is judging the situation on HER children.

reetgood · 01/08/2017 18:55

At least now the have the answer as to why a mother felt it appropriate to leave her sleeping child under my supervision in a restaurant. I mean it wasn't like I had other customers or other responsibilities to attend to. I was part of her village! Lucky me.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 01/08/2017 18:55

Rainbow - I said the same thing and the op jumped down my throat about judging her...

I'd still like to know how long op has been doing this for - as she said 'years' - so the children would have been much younger

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 01/08/2017 18:57

Dancergirl - that is a really odd comment! How can the op afford laser treatment but not childcare? They both require saving up. But if she can save for laser treatment she can save for childcare no?

And if she can only afford one thing or the other as you say - she shouldn't prioritise her children's welfare?!

reetgood · 01/08/2017 18:57

@dancergirl but how does the receptionist have any assurance of that? How does the company have any assurance that op is not a crazy lady? She doesn't, they don't. That is why there are blanket rules! You're still responsible for children if their responsible adult is unavailable. But then there I go, assuming responsibility for children like they're part of my village or something;)

DeadGood · 01/08/2017 18:59

dancergirl I agree with every word you have said

MissionItsPossible · 01/08/2017 19:00

@dancergirl Countries where it takes a village to raise a child are countries that generally don't have a where-there's-blame-there's-a-claim culture like ours does. (Not a positive, but just pointing it out). Even if the receptionist wouldn't have minded, there's still a lot of red tape that is probably written into her contract or the clinic's general policy that unaccompanied children under the age of xx cannot be left alone. In fact, those other receptionists probably (unknowingly) broke their contract or pulled the clinic into potential serious legal trouble by saying yes.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 01/08/2017 19:01

Dancergirl and deadgood - that's great. But if a stranger turned up at my office and said hey look after these two they're no trouble and then left. I wouldn't be happy. And if I posted about it on mumsnet it'd be full of cf comments

MissionItsPossible · 01/08/2017 19:03

Interestingly, I Googled Laser Hair Removal and visited the Terms and Conditions of the first result that came up. And it says (quite early on in the T&C's):

Any client who requires treatment and brings a child with them must also be accompanied by another adult to chaperone the child whilst the client is being treated. Failure to bring an adult chaperone with any child will result in the treatment being cancelled and loss of the value pack treatment or deposit. No children under the age of 16 years must be left unattended within the clinic at any time.

So the other receptionists did put their job on the line if they said yes, presuming the T&C's of your practice is the same OP

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 01/08/2017 19:03

The OP knows her own children and has risk assessed herself if she thinks it's ok.

The receptionist nor company don't. They are not a babysitting service.