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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids not allowed - AIBU?

496 replies

SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 12:21

Very happy to be told I'm BU but please go gentle if I've somehow been doing things wrong here!!

I've just been turned away from my appointment at clinic where I've been having laser hair removal...because I had my kids with me. It's a 10 minute procedure which I've been having a course of over months so I've always left them (either one or both) sitting on the chairs in reception with my phone to watch tv (very quietly) or pencils and colouring pads. They never run around or misbehave as they've done this a lot - I'm a single mum and have previously lived abroad with them so often haven't had anyone to watch them and just had to bring them with me everywhere.

This clinic is nationwide (uk) and I've been to various locations for a couple of other (quick) procedures and left the kids in reception (the reception is always very quiet and receptionists always offer to keep an eye). I know it's not ideal but figured it's just what people do. Have I got this totally wrong?? This is the first time I've ever been told it's not okay, but it's the first time I've brought them to this particular clinic location. They told me I could leave the kids sitting in the costa coffee opposite (obviously I was never going to do that!) or get someone to watch them...which is going to be really tricky for me. I can't see why I can't leave them sitting safely in their reception for 10 mins like I've always done. So AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
jasmine1971 · 02/08/2017 14:40

I don't think OP is being unreasonable. It's exactly the same set up at my dentist; I can't take all three children in with me so I take one in, then they have their appt straight after me, then the other 2 have theirs.

chocoblock · 02/08/2017 14:41

jelly beans a choking hazard for 6 or 7 year olds? maybe under 4 year old yes

itstoolateforthisbollox · 02/08/2017 14:51

It's the third degree, not the nth, aargh

Totally wrong. You completely misunderstood the point!

Shoulda listened to your own advice about staying silent!

Fluffycloudland77 · 02/08/2017 14:53

It's standard beauty industry insurance that no kids under 16 are allowed in.

Beauty salons aren't safe environments for kids.

elfinpre · 02/08/2017 16:02

The OP is being given the third degree. Posters are going to the nth degree to find a problem. Either way, aargh's post didn't make much sense.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 02/08/2017 16:08

elfinpre what bit didn't make sense?

As I stated above - different salon, different receptionist, different rules. She shoulda checked. Not sure how that's the nth degree? Seems pretty straightforward to me!

Baring in mind I'm replying to someone who complained about situations being extrapolated. Hence my nth degree comment.

maplepixie · 02/08/2017 16:45

YABU it's a reception area not a creche

MyheartbelongstoG · 02/08/2017 16:49

Yabu- it's your appointment no theirs. Sort your child care out in advance.

Mittens1969 · 02/08/2017 17:19

I wouldn't do it, I would always worry that I'd hear DD2 crying and saying, 'She (DD1) hurt me!' And it wouldn't be right for a receptionist to have to deal with that, it's my job. (My two are 8 and 5 so similar ages as well.

I have taken my DDs to my dental appointments in the past, and they have come in with me. I'm surprised they can't sit quietly in the corner, tbh.

I don't think the op deserves the bashing she's had on here, though.

Mittens1969 · 02/08/2017 17:32

A lot of posters have been calling the op entitled, she hasn't come across as rude or complaining. I think you've been trying to pick a fight with her tbh, and are possibly a bit disappointed that she hasn't responded in kind.

She said she was prepared to be told she was U, and in fact did so.

rubia · 02/08/2017 17:33

I work in a clinic and people do leave kids in the waiting room but after a fire safety meeting it was decided that it can't continue- as others have said they are under the care of the receptionist if there's an issue and that isn't in their job description

DW1973 · 02/08/2017 17:35

Im afraid its down to health & safety most decent clinics are quite strict with this, im a hairdresser and dont like been left to do a childs hair when mum pops to shop while theyr in the chair if anything happens its not the clinics responsibility

valeview · 02/08/2017 17:36

YABU. Why do you imagine your child care, or lack of it, is someone elses job?

DoveOfPiss · 02/08/2017 17:37

Not RTFT yet but got to page 3 and surprised nobody has said (again, yet) that if the children are 6 and 7, then why on earth wouldn't you go to an appointment like this while they are at school...???

I'm a single parent and have dragged my 4 to doctors and dentist appointments with me. If it's something personal at the doctors and I can't get in while they're at school, they sit quietly in the (unattended) waiting room. The dentists are now used to us all filing in and waiting for watch other.

jessebuni · 02/08/2017 17:41

I wouldn't exactly say anyone is BU it's jus one of those difficult situations. If the children were say 8 or older and would just sit in the reception with a magazine therefore not being watched by anyone literally just sitting waiting then I don't see a problem with that but younger and really they need to be supervised which isn't the receptionists job unfortunately. I think in future it's best just to check this when you make your appointment rather than brig them with you. It's really down to each individual establishment, if they say it's fine then that's fine bring the kids if they it isn't then that's their decision and right. So next time just call and check, no big issue.

wildchild554 · 02/08/2017 17:44

I'd say depends on the type of appointment. I am also a single parent if I need an appointment they have always had to go with me as I can't afford childcare. Would simply be a case of take them with me or not have whatever treatment I needed. They are always aware of this and have always accommodated me. Not everyone has support. But if it's non essential for cosmetic purposes then at the end of the day that's something that can wait. I don't know your circumstances well enough to comment further.

blackteasplease · 02/08/2017 17:50

I took dd 8 to the dentist with me but she could come in the same room and just sat reading.

I guess it depends if they can come in the room or not so you stay responsible.

And from parents pov it depends on the child.

Also for the receptionist, they have no idea what your kids are like.
Plus 6 is quite alot different to 8

EllenMP · 02/08/2017 17:56

Definitely depends on the age. I think if they are 6 and over you could reasonably expect the salon to ok it, but you should definitely have asked before you went as the salon is in no way obligated to provide this service. I've left my kids in reception areas before, but only where I was a known client already and my kids were old enough that I was sure they wouldn't be a nuisance. So you are not be unreasonable to ask, but they would not be unreasonable to say no.

Mittens1969 · 02/08/2017 17:56

I'm a bit surprised there was no other option tbh. Ok, it's the school holidays, but there are kids' clubs, activities centres etc that are great for kids that age, and then you can book appointments during those times. Or failing that, maybe a play date at a friend's house?

I wouldn't even want to leave my DDs in the reception area, even with iPads or colouring, I just wouldn't trust them that far, not even my 8 year old.

Custardo · 02/08/2017 18:01

dear op,

only uou know the maturity of your 6 and 8 year old. you made a judgement.

i do not disagree with your judgement

I also do not disagree with the receptionists refusal to accept responsibility

Mika3014 · 02/08/2017 18:07

If I were the receptionist I would have kept an eye on your kids if you'd have assured me that they are nice kids and behaved. If they wouldn't then I would have told you to not bring them next time. And before everyone jumping that I don't know what her job is, trust me, i do know.
So I don't think you were unreasonable, they are old enough to sit quietly for 10 min. I was 5 when I started going to nursery on my own, at 6 o'clock in the morning when my mum had to start her shift and wait until 7 on the nursery steps until they would open.
Now you can't leave them for 10 min, 5 feet away from you!

falange · 02/08/2017 18:08

I wouldn't have taken mine to a beauty appointment. It's not something the OP needs, it's something she wants. She is BU and maybe just needs to use a razor Smile

lastrose123 · 02/08/2017 18:12

You ANBU but people have become more safeguarding and health and safety conscious over the years. This makes them much less able to be accommodating than in the past.

cheval · 02/08/2017 18:24

Gosh how times change. I always did this at dentist with a baby! Receptionist and dentist were ones that suggested it! But it was 20 years ago. I wouldn't have left two of mine at seven years old on their own in reception at an appointment, though. But only because they would have caused mayhem within minutes. But if your children are well behaved, I can't see the problem.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 02/08/2017 18:39

falange - yes, because as a woman shaving your face is the best option for dealing with unwanted hair growth.🤔😖. Stop being so nasty, it's not a 'beauty' treatment, more a medical one.

OP I'd think nothing of taking a sensible pair of kids that age & having them wait for me in reception for 5-10 minutes when I was in an appointment. I trust them & I'm right next door. I wouldn't expect the receptionist to take any responsibility for them, I wouldn't expect her to watch them or stay in the room with them.

As for it being the same as leaving them in Costa, words fail me.

If it's their policy not to allow unaccompanied minors to wait in reception, I guess that's their choice, however, I'd be asking for a refund on the basis that their chain has been fine with it in other locations so you had no reason to think they wouldn't be when you paid. It's not going to hurt them to refund you the money for services they haven't provided.

I'm sorry it's something you need to have done 💐