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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids not allowed - AIBU?

496 replies

SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 12:21

Very happy to be told I'm BU but please go gentle if I've somehow been doing things wrong here!!

I've just been turned away from my appointment at clinic where I've been having laser hair removal...because I had my kids with me. It's a 10 minute procedure which I've been having a course of over months so I've always left them (either one or both) sitting on the chairs in reception with my phone to watch tv (very quietly) or pencils and colouring pads. They never run around or misbehave as they've done this a lot - I'm a single mum and have previously lived abroad with them so often haven't had anyone to watch them and just had to bring them with me everywhere.

This clinic is nationwide (uk) and I've been to various locations for a couple of other (quick) procedures and left the kids in reception (the reception is always very quiet and receptionists always offer to keep an eye). I know it's not ideal but figured it's just what people do. Have I got this totally wrong?? This is the first time I've ever been told it's not okay, but it's the first time I've brought them to this particular clinic location. They told me I could leave the kids sitting in the costa coffee opposite (obviously I was never going to do that!) or get someone to watch them...which is going to be really tricky for me. I can't see why I can't leave them sitting safely in their reception for 10 mins like I've always done. So AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
aaaaargghhhhelpme · 02/08/2017 08:31

Witsender - this salon had never allowed the op to leave her kids there. Same chain. Different salon.

Besides even if they had - the op didn't check before hand - what if it's a different receptionist who isn't comfortable

If someone posted here saying - someone's just asked me to look after her kids for her while I work. She would be swamped with replies of - just say no, that doesn't work for me

bigmac4me · 02/08/2017 08:58

I know my kids and CAN guarantee they wouldn't do anything as odd as running out of the front door when they've got TV (rationed usually) to watch and a few jelly beans to eat so trusted them to sit quietly

You know your kids but you do NOT know the receptionist. You also do NOT know whatever a member of the public who may walk through the door when the receptionist may or may not be there. What if the receptionist needed the toilet, or was called away or occupied on the phone or elsewhere. Would it not potentially create an awkward situation should she need to do elsewhere - should she just do her job by going elsewhere and leaving them alone, or should she refuse because she did not want to leave the children. YOU say you can guarnantee the behaviour of your children because you know then, however the receptionist does NOT KNOW your children and therefore cannot guarnantee what they may, or may not do, in her absense.

However, I do admire you very much that you can guarnantee that your children will not do anything odd. I do not know the ages of your children but I have to say that I am not sure I could guarnantee what my children (or numerous foster children) would do should anything unusual happen while I was elsewhere.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 02/08/2017 09:00

Well, they obviously didn't when they happily used to let the OP bring her children. Hence her surprise when on this occasion they didn't.

She's never even been to this location before, so they've never "happily" let her dump them before.

Bellini81 · 02/08/2017 09:11

I haven't RTFT but just wanted to add that I work in a similar clinic on reception and I've been left with two kids while their parents had some treatment not laser treatment (2 different mums who came together) sodded off for over half an while their angels had fights on the sofa, kicked off their shoes and slung them halfway across the room, played games on their iPad so loud I couldn't hear the customers on the phone properly and just generally were pains in the neck.

I had to keep asking the kids to turn their iPads down, stop fighting, pick up their shoes etc all while manning a busy desk. It was torture and I've said to my boss 'never again' bloody nightmare. Oh and the mums never even thanked me for watching their cherubs, charmers.

FrancisCrawford · 02/08/2017 10:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GinaFordCortina · 02/08/2017 10:06

YABU, your childcare issues are not their problem

They are when they've lost business. I don't think it's an issue for a 6&7 year old to sit quietly on a phone for ten minutes.

Kaykee · 02/08/2017 13:30

Knowing my 6 & 7 year olds I wouldn't trust them to sit alone for ten mins or expect a receptionist I don't even know to keep an eye on them. Does make life difficult occasionally but I try to do things like this when they are at school. But obviously youngest has only been at school a year so prior I had to find someone to look after him or make appointments whilst he was at nursery.
I have no one local to babysit etc I understand you've done it before op but I'd ring ahead in future to ask if it's somewhere that's been ok in the past.

Witsender · 02/08/2017 13:32

Yes,but the chain clearly doesn't have this air tight policy, as the other locations don't enforce it.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 02/08/2017 13:35

Witsender - no clearly not. Maybe they're franchises. Either way - op didn't check beforehand so couldn't assume they would be OK left unsupervised.

Jamjarjem · 02/08/2017 13:43

Yabu, I totally agree with the people saying it takes a village to raise children and we would have people to help us out. If a friend and me to watch their kids while they went for an appointment I would do that no problem. However being at work, having a job to do and having a customer asking if I could watch their kids is not acceptable

Notevilstepmother · 02/08/2017 13:44

I think there would be far more loss of business from people who expect to go for treatments in a place of peace and tranquility.

If I go to a salon or a spa, I'm going for pampering, for someone to give me a nice drink and a magazine while I wait, the whole package. I want to walk through the door and leave the real world behind for a world of lovely sofas and delightful decor.

I wouldn't expect to go for a treatment and have people on mobile phones or watching tv or small children.

It's just not the same as a dentist waiting room, or a family hairdressers.

Witsender · 02/08/2017 13:45

Pmsl, ok. Let's extrapolate to the nth degree to extort maximum unreasonable behaviour instead of just assuming that the OP made a perfectly reasonable assumption based on a past precedent with the same chain. I think she has probably got the gist by now. 😂

GreenCarnation · 02/08/2017 13:47

to watch and a few jelly beans to eat

Aaaaaagh!!!! Jelly beans are a choking hazard!!!!

Sorry. Quite forgot myself there for a moment.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 02/08/2017 13:49

Pmsl? Well ok if you find that hilarious...whatever gets you going!

As I stated above - different salon, different receptionist, different rules. She shoulda checked. Not sure how that's the nth degree? Seems pretty straightforward to me!

chocoblock · 02/08/2017 13:54

YANBU they are not 2 year olds, my DS at their ages would have sat quietly for 10 mins, you are in the next room not like you have even left the building, a different matter if you knew they wouldn't or had behaviour problems, but you know your own kids, maybe people saying YABU may have children that can't sit for 10 mins

quickname · 02/08/2017 13:55

YANBU i'm surprised by some of the comments and accusation of entitlement..In my experience it is perfectly normal to have to sometimes take dc with to an appointment. I would never have managed to see a dr or dentist if i couldn't leave a kid in the waiting room. if you know your own children are able to sit and wait quietly then it should be fine. Obviously it's not ideal to have to wait anywhere for lengthy time but sometimes unavoidable if a single parent with no back up!

gillybeanz · 02/08/2017 13:57

They probably aren't insured to look after other people's children.
If anything happened they'd be liable.
I'm not surprised they refused, surely most businesses would refuse.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 02/08/2017 13:59

but you know your own kids

However as has been said umpteen times, the place doesn't!

maybe people saying YABU may have children that can't sit for 10 mins

Not in this case. Try again ....

elfinpre · 02/08/2017 14:01

She shoulda checked

13 pages of crappy extrapolation for a fairly simple issue seems like the 3rd degree to me.

It's the third degree, not the nth, aargh. And "should have" not "shoulda". Maybe you shoulda checked before posting. Because you always check stuff first, right?

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to post and to remove all doubt.

ladyme · 02/08/2017 14:02

My DD was always fine to be left like that too, OP, and I must live in a very child friendly area as no one has ever said no to me. I wouldn't think they were unreasonable if they did though, I don't think.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 02/08/2017 14:05

Elfinpre - er I'm quoting witsender who wrote nth degree...

And I'm being street! What's with the grammar police? Blimey. shoulda woulda coulda. Tryin' to alleviate the tetchy mood on this thread.

Thanks!

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 02/08/2017 14:07

Ever heard of the saying if you've got nowt nice to say keep your mouth shut

And for the grammar minded that's nowt meaning nothing.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 02/08/2017 14:15

Oh here you go elfinpre - Nth degree

'A mathematically specious phrase (solecism) intended to convey that something is raised to a very high level (as in "to the Nth degree"), where "n" is assumed to be a relatively high number even though by definition it is unspecified and may be large or small'

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nth_Degree

Enjoy!

LikeMummyLikeDaughter · 02/08/2017 14:21

I don't see the problem. I used to be a recepcionist at a beauty clinic and mums left their children at recepcion all the time, I didnt mind at all.
However I have never done that myself and I dont think I will but that's because I'm a bit paranoiac. Confused

Notevilstepmother · 02/08/2017 14:22

Nth degree is correct, third degree is something different.

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