Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids not allowed - AIBU?

496 replies

SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 12:21

Very happy to be told I'm BU but please go gentle if I've somehow been doing things wrong here!!

I've just been turned away from my appointment at clinic where I've been having laser hair removal...because I had my kids with me. It's a 10 minute procedure which I've been having a course of over months so I've always left them (either one or both) sitting on the chairs in reception with my phone to watch tv (very quietly) or pencils and colouring pads. They never run around or misbehave as they've done this a lot - I'm a single mum and have previously lived abroad with them so often haven't had anyone to watch them and just had to bring them with me everywhere.

This clinic is nationwide (uk) and I've been to various locations for a couple of other (quick) procedures and left the kids in reception (the reception is always very quiet and receptionists always offer to keep an eye). I know it's not ideal but figured it's just what people do. Have I got this totally wrong?? This is the first time I've ever been told it's not okay, but it's the first time I've brought them to this particular clinic location. They told me I could leave the kids sitting in the costa coffee opposite (obviously I was never going to do that!) or get someone to watch them...which is going to be really tricky for me. I can't see why I can't leave them sitting safely in their reception for 10 mins like I've always done. So AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 02/08/2017 00:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

roundaboutthetown · 02/08/2017 00:35

I wouldn't expect to have to look after someone else's dc, either - if they leave them sitting in chairs unsupervised, that's exactly what they are - unsupervised.

roundaboutthetown · 02/08/2017 00:37

If I tell my children to stay put and sit quietly for 10 minutes and read a book, that is also exactly what I expect them to be able to do.

SweetLuck · 02/08/2017 00:39

Francis Of course the OP can do a risk assessment without all the facts. If you had all the facts you wouldn't need a risk assemsment.

I'm sure that if the OP had encountered anything untoward regarding the building or receptionist, she would have changed her plans.

Floggingmolly · 02/08/2017 00:42

If you had all the facts you wouldn't need a risk assessment Confused
I don't think you understand the first principles of risk assessment, SweetLuck...

FrancisCrawford · 02/08/2017 00:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SweetLuck · 02/08/2017 00:56

You cant do a competent risk assessment without all the facts

Then we all make incompetent risk assessment all day and every day. Indeed we couldn't proceed in life without doing so.

roundaboutthetown · 02/08/2017 00:57

A quick risk assessment would tell me that a quiet waiting room with a receptionist taking note of everyone who enters and leaves is a safer place for my children to sit in than a busy coffee shop. Children sitting on chairs are only extra work for the receptionist if the waiting room is busy and the chairs are needed by patients - or if the children are a bit feral. If the receptionist is not willing to take the risk that the children may be little monsters, or that some catastrophic event will happen in the waiting room in the next 10 minutes, then it's not going to work, obviously, but the reality is that two children sitting quietly on chairs in an otherwise empty waiting room for 10 minutes with their mother nearby and known not to be lying about being 10 minutes, are highly unlikely to be a problem, which is probably why the OP hasn't had people kicking up a huge fuss before now.

Ontheboardwalk · 02/08/2017 01:14

I don't like going to the dentist. I go and like to sit quietly before my appointment.

Woman went in before me and left her two children (think about 5 and 7) sitting quietly for the 30 mins she was in there.

10 mins into her appointment 2 other children came in with a parent that was obviously more interested in their phone than their children. Result absolute chaos. Opening doors whilst people having treatment, toys thrown every where, in and out of the toilet etc

Parent in the waiting room reluctantly controlled her children, the original two continued causing chaos.

You can't do a risk assessment once you've left your children alone in a public place. It's not on.

Sn0tnose · 02/08/2017 01:20

I'd leave them in the waiting room or bring them in with me. People have kids, loads of parents are single parents, places need to accommodate this. The OP said she couldn't take them in the room with her, so in order not to invalidate their insurance, these businesses would have to hire additional staff with childcare qualifications and provide a secure space that could not be accessed by any old Tom, Dick or Harry wandering in off the street to get their back waxed, or wait while their partners were having a treatment. The extra cost of this would be astronomical and make treatments unaffordable for many.

I've done reception work, albeit many years ago. OP, I'm sure your children are well behaved and obviously, you trust them not to misbehave, or talk to strangers, or wander out of the door while the receptionist is busy, but as others have said, the receptionist isn't to know that. You could be one of those parents who insists their DC are angels when, in fact, they are not. If a child wanders off, the first question that will be asked is why the receptionist didn't do anything to stop them. I think you've been lucky with other receptionists, but I certainly wouldn't be willing to take on that level of responsibility when I'm trying to work as well.

SweetLuck · 02/08/2017 01:29

Well to be fair, the receptionist probably does a bot of 'risk assessment' herself when your children come in and makes a decision based on their behaviour and how much she likes kids. Could go either way.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 02/08/2017 01:52

YABU. You can't expect the receptionist to look after your kids for you.

(And before you say you aren't expecting that, how would you feel if the receptionist completely ignored them and let them wander off outside alone? Would you be angry at them? Or yourself? Because you would be the only one to blame in such a situation.)

FlyingFox95 · 02/08/2017 04:12

YABU

If anyone expected me to keep an eye on their little ones I would say absolutely no chance.

elfinpre · 02/08/2017 04:26

It's basically up to the clinic/receptionist. If they've said it's fine in the past then YANBU to leave the kids there. If they have a different policy at another location then that's up to them - it's a business choice between the risk of looking after kids vs you not having as many treatments if the logistics are more difficult.

I wouldn't "expect" a place to offer this, but I can see why you thought it would be ok if it had been offered in another branch. I guess either go back to the more amenable place or try and get another adult to come with you.

elfinpre · 02/08/2017 04:31

And Flowers for the PCOS. It can't be fun.

PeppermintTeaPlease · 02/08/2017 04:32

OP, do your kids have headphones/earbuds while they are watching media on your phone, or do you expect that other people in reception should be OK with listening to the blips and peals from your unattended children's entertainment?

Happyeverafter73 · 02/08/2017 04:44

Rtft Peppermint. The op has already answered these questions.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 02/08/2017 05:50

Op - you're back

Any chance of answering all the questions about how long you've been doing this for and how old the kids were when you started?

Oh and I don't see people being judgey for what treatment you're having. It's just a fact you arrange something where you can't have your kids with you - you factor in childcare. It's like me buying a ticket for the west end but not factoring in the train fare there. I couldn't care less what treatment you've booked.

All these posts about risk assessment...it's a moot point if the company doesn't allow unaccompanied minors.

What was the arrangement you came to? Did it involve leaving your children alone?

FrancisCrawford · 02/08/2017 08:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed · 02/08/2017 08:20

Bottom line. The chain of salons say no unattended kids.

That's all there is to it really surely?

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 02/08/2017 08:22

mychild you'd think!

FrancisCrawford · 02/08/2017 08:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Witsender · 02/08/2017 08:24

Well, they obviously didn't when they happily used to let the OP bring her children. Hence her surprise when on this occasion they didn't.

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed · 02/08/2017 08:24

Risk assessment.

I am unaware as to whether or not the salon insurance permits unaccompanied minors.

SonicBoomBoom · 02/08/2017 08:24

This thread has been a funny read. The conclusions that people have jumped to about your finances, the building layout, etc, to justify having a pop.

Fwiw, I understand why you thought it wouldn't be a massive problem.