Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids not allowed - AIBU?

496 replies

SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 12:21

Very happy to be told I'm BU but please go gentle if I've somehow been doing things wrong here!!

I've just been turned away from my appointment at clinic where I've been having laser hair removal...because I had my kids with me. It's a 10 minute procedure which I've been having a course of over months so I've always left them (either one or both) sitting on the chairs in reception with my phone to watch tv (very quietly) or pencils and colouring pads. They never run around or misbehave as they've done this a lot - I'm a single mum and have previously lived abroad with them so often haven't had anyone to watch them and just had to bring them with me everywhere.

This clinic is nationwide (uk) and I've been to various locations for a couple of other (quick) procedures and left the kids in reception (the reception is always very quiet and receptionists always offer to keep an eye). I know it's not ideal but figured it's just what people do. Have I got this totally wrong?? This is the first time I've ever been told it's not okay, but it's the first time I've brought them to this particular clinic location. They told me I could leave the kids sitting in the costa coffee opposite (obviously I was never going to do that!) or get someone to watch them...which is going to be really tricky for me. I can't see why I can't leave them sitting safely in their reception for 10 mins like I've always done. So AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
MissionItsPossible · 01/08/2017 21:27

TinselTwins

They asked, politely, whether people thought it was okay and they got the first initial replies saying of course you are being unreasonable and the OP consented to that. The other 8 or 9 pages are just people wading in for the sake of it (which is why I love this forum lol)

Rossigigi · 01/08/2017 21:37

Unreasonable sorry

fannydaggerz · 01/08/2017 22:43

Least you know for your next visit at this particular branch that kids are not allowed.

roundaboutthetown · 01/08/2017 23:03

If I left my 6 and 8 year old children in a waiting room on the other side of a door from me, it would be because I did not expect them to need supervising for 10 minutes. Why this obsession with the idea that a receptionist would need to stare at them for 10 minutes in case they moved?

Jaxhog · 01/08/2017 23:10

@roundaboutthetown you might be happy to leave your kids there, but the receptionist doesn't know you or them from Adam. And if they hurt themselves, who do you think would be the first person the police talked to (after you). The receptionist, that's who.

roundaboutthetown · 01/08/2017 23:17

Jaxhog - I've already made the point, earlier in the thread, that the receptionist wouldn't know whether these were psychotic children of litigious parents or normal young children capable of sitting still for 10 minutes, but at some point, a child has to be accepted as being old enough to sit quietly for 10 minutes in a waiting room, rather than being treated as an unpredictable, ferile animal.

Floggingmolly · 01/08/2017 23:18

But not where the company's rules and regulations specifically preclude them from being there.

roundaboutthetown · 01/08/2017 23:18

Feral

roundaboutthetown · 01/08/2017 23:19

Flogginmolly - you do not know what that company's specific rules are, you just read one thing from one website.

Floggingmolly · 01/08/2017 23:23

True, I thought that quote was from the actual chain of salons op used. Just stop checked back, it's not.

elevenclips · 01/08/2017 23:25

If she wouldn't leave them in costa then she shouldn't leave them in reception - only difference beteeem the two public places is expecting the receptionist to have some input.

roundaboutthetown · 01/08/2017 23:28

Bollocks, elevenclips - being on the other side of a door from a child sitting quietly in a waiting room is not remotely the same thing as being on the other side of a road with the children in a place where people are constantly walking in and out without needing an appointment or to identify themselves and where unaccompanied children would be unwelcome unless buying a drink - and where there is a lot of hot coffee about to be spilt by some clumsy adult in a rush.

roundaboutthetown · 01/08/2017 23:29

Waiting rooms are not remotely as chaotic as coffee shops.

WifeofDarth · 01/08/2017 23:32

Some children can be trusted to do as they're told and sit still for 10 minutes with their mother on the other side of a door. If you're lucky enough to have 2 of those children then YANBU OP.
If treatment is completely incapacitating (like general anaesthetic!) then it's different.
Not at all the same as having them across the road in a cafe.
Agree with roundabout - it's sad if no child of 6 can be trusted to sit still for 10 minutes.

MissAlligned · 01/08/2017 23:46

Of course it's OK!

No, you shouldn't be asking the receptionist to be totally responsible for your children, but I don't think that's what you've said.

If your children are old enough for you to trust them to look after themselves enough not to leave the room, or touch the hot drinks machine and not annoy other people then of yes it's OK to leave them. It's your judgement call to make and it sounds like this clinic was being deliberately obtuse.

I had my 7yo with me when I had to have an unexpected xray at the dentist. She went out into the reception area and of course the receptionist said she'd watch her like most nice receptionists would do, but I wouldn't have left DD if I didn't trust her to behave.

SweetLuck · 02/08/2017 00:01

It's as if people think it is illegal to leave anyone under 12 alone. It is not. If the children will stay put and be quiet it is fine.

However, some people feel uncomfortable at the idea of having responsibility for children, I would have been terrified in my 20s Smile. So really it's OK for them to say no, too

MimsyFluff · 02/08/2017 00:01

I get what your saying mine would have been fine just sitting in fact I'm pretty sure my three year old would be (never would) and wouldn't need watching but you were told no so shouldn't really be annoyed maybe there is a reason why the receptionist doesn't want to keep on eye on them? Trouble conceiving, miscarriages, loss of a child or a Mumsnet dramatic overreaction a convicted paedophile?

Original poster
SlaggyTwoShoes · 02/08/2017 00:09

Elevenclips - I second the bollocks statement re the coffee shop and the waiting area. The coffee shop was HEAVING and all kinds of dangers in there, this was a reception waiting area where I was in earshot, with 1 receptionist and 3 other girls on the desk and no one else in there (there's never anyone when I go). Worlds apart. And it ended up being for only 3 minutes, and I asked no one to babysit, keep an eye or do me a favour - I know my kids and CAN guarantee they wouldn't do anything as odd as running out of the front door when they've got TV (rationed usually) to watch and a few jelly beans to eat so trusted them to sit quietly.

Some people seem to have got all judgy about the 'luxuriousness' of the treatment as if that makes a difference. As a pp said it's for PCOS and totally not luxury at all. It's painful and I wish I didn't have to do it.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 02/08/2017 00:18

You say you managed to work something out. What was that? Did it involve leaving them in the waiting area even after being asked not to?

roundaboutthetown · 02/08/2017 00:19

The OP made it quite clear she was not annoyed, just asking whether she had been unreasonable to think it would be OK to leave her children sitting quietly in the waiting room. People have just entirely made up for themselves the bits about her being entitled and expecting the receptionist to babysit them, as though all children of all ages are incapable of sitting on chairs quietly for 10 minutes unless a fierce receptionist is giving them the evil eye.

ChicRock · 02/08/2017 00:24

You're turning up with your kids in tow - so at all your previous appointments when you've done this without checking beforehand if it's ok, it's not that the receptionist hasn't minded watching your children, it's more that you haven't left them with much choice other than to "keep an eye on them".

roundaboutthetown · 02/08/2017 00:26

It's not that hard to keep an eye on people who are not moving. Receptionists manage it all the time with adults.

FrancisCrawford · 02/08/2017 00:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floggingmolly · 02/08/2017 00:30

And it was only three minutes at the finish Grin. She could have just told them to follow her into the treatment room very slowly.

SpareChangeDownTheSofa · 02/08/2017 00:30

Receptionists manage it all the time with adults.

Hmm