To have cleaned DS's room? Dh thinks so.

[NormaDesmondsEyebrows]

For context, DH is currently working up to 70hrs a week and has just finished this evening (wfh). So he's understandably crabby.

I was pootling about upstairs and went in to put some clean washing in ds1's room (he's 14, 15 next month). I usually let him get on with it but it was stinky and I couldn't see the floor so I quickly stripped and remade his bed and cleared the floor. It took less than 10 minutes.

Dh was in the shower after finishing work and came out just as I was finishing up. DS was downstairs watching a film, which is rare and why I had the opportunity to do his room.

Dh lost his shit. He's usually very very placid and this is about the third time in ten years I've seen him go off like this. He told me to stop and said he was furious I'd done it, called ds up and basically shouted at him for a good five to ten minutes about how selfish and disgusting it is to put it off for so long that I have to do it. I didn't realise that he'd asked him to do it earlier before he went out with his mates.

Dh says that ds has had all day every day since last week to do it, that I have enough else to do, that he himself has no free time and finds it disgusting that ds is sitting watching tv while I'm cleaning his room.

I feel fucking awful now. I've got ds in trouble, Dh thinks I'm a mug (he said that several times) and I've undermined him although not on purpose.

This is really out of character for Dh, as I say he almost never raises his voice or gets really cross. He's gone to bed now and I've come downstairs to watch the Handmaids Tale and have a bit of a cry. Although he was shouting at ds, he was cross with me and I feel like I've dropped a massive bollock. He also dropped in that he'd asked me to sort his floordrobe out this week and I haven't got round to it yet, and that it's not fair I'm 'having' to do DS's room and haven't done his stuff.

I feel like utter shit. I couldn't leave DS's room as it was after seeing it, but Dh said I'm enabling him and not teaching him anything. I said I'm teaching him that it's a five minute job (when he does ever tidy it it takes hours and hours of chivvying and procrastination).

Was I unreasonable?

Of course your DH should not have lost his rag but let's face it, if you don't insist on your DS contributing to household chores or even sorting out his own room, how is he going to be capable of doing it when you're not there to do it for him? Are you and he expecting whichever poor, unfortunate woman with whom he eventually lives to take over? There are countless threads on here every week by women who have gone into relationships with useless men who deem it beneath them to do any form of housework or parenting and you are adding your DS to the useless pile.

I understand that your DH is currently working long hours but fail to understand why that necessitates him dropping his clothes on the floor where he stands and even if he does do this, why the fuck is it your job to pick it up?

If you're a SAHM with children at school and obviously while your DH is working double hours, of course it makes sense for you to do the housework etc but I can see no earthly reason for the 'floordrobe'.

So your son does basically nothing round the house, I'm not surprised your DH flipped out. Your ds should be pulling his weight in the house especially now it's the holidays

Well this has had the best possible outcome.

Dh has just come home. This is normal, pre overtime time. That's it, he says. He might do a few hours each weekend and maybe stay at the office until 4 instead of 3, but he's finished working the equivalent of two full time jobs.

I have sobbed and sobbed like a twat. I didn't realise quite how tightly wound I was and when he said that was it the floodgates opened. We can get back to being a family again, he can get back to being my funny, laid back husband, and I won't have to spend every evening on my own watching tv and counting the hours until I go to bed.

I think after seven months he has realised they can't actually get blood out of a stone and the project is just going to have to be late. It's no fault of him and his team, it's all been bad planning from the high ups.

We're going to celebrate with a game of Pie Face

Aw, really glad to hear it.

Great update OP.
Sounds like it's worked out for the best 😊

Awesome

Smashing.

Shame you did his floordrobe, he'll have time now.

Ha! I not only did the floordrobe today, I sorted out his whole wardrobe and cleared out the garage which took most of the day.

Tonight he gets to sit down and be waited on hand and foot.

Excellent news!! I hope you all had a lovely evening 😊

Hopefully this means you can all uncoil before your holiday so you can really enjoy it!

It was fab. Dh bathed ds and put him to bed which he hasn't been able to do for months. We sat down together and watched GoT, and he said this morning he's had the best nights sleep he's had in ages.

He apologised to ds last night, he says he stands by what he says but that he absolutely shouldn't have gone off the way he did, and that he's very sorry.

I feel like I can breathe again, and I can't imagine how much better he's feeling. He couldn't have carried on the way he was.