AIBU to need to hear something positive about having twins?

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Found out 2 weeks ago that I'm pregnant with twins.

The reactions of people we've told have mostly been a combination of shock, laughter and lots of 'good luck' types comments.

To be honest, I still haven't really processed the news fully and I'm pretty focused on all the negatives (higher risk pregnancy, money issues, need a bigger car, eventually need a bigger house, how we'll cope, sleep etc etc etc). I don't feel that anyone has been able to make me feel even slightly less panicked or reassured.

I don't even know anybody who has twins who can give me practical or reassuring advice.

We already have one DD who is nearly 3 and this was very much a planned and wanted preganancy but I feel so overwhelmed at the moment.

Please, please could anybody offer any positives or at least practical tips for coping with end of preganancy and arrival of babies?

(I know it will be difficult and expensive and hard work please can that not be the ficus of the thread, I need to hear good stuff ).

TIA

Twins are wonderful, they have a wonderful bond for life.

You're blessed to be having them.

Practically accept all help offered.

I always wanted twins. I was lucky enough to get them. I loved every single minute. I feel very blessed. They are so close and were actually placid babies that slept through quite early. 2 of my singletons were harder. At 14 they are pretty easy teens too.

When they were born my others were 2 and 4. We had to get bigger house and car etc. Holidays are now caravan. But I wouldn't swap it for the world.

Enjoy it it is amazing 😀😀

Twins are brilliant. I wouldn't change mine for the world. You're about to go on the best adventure ever. Congratulations on your twin pregnancy!

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP, and good luck!
Twins are awesome. Mine are 16 now. It was hard work, especially the first year, but totally worth it. They entertained each other a lot - we didn't need playdates till they were at least 7. They also had activities in common when at primary school which was easier logistically.
See if you can find a local multiple birth support group, and don't hold back from asking for help. My MIL was a huge help.

Best thing that ever happened to me😊 ds1 was 2 when they were born and so I knew what to do with babies and was less stressed. They fitted into ds1 routine and mainly slept when we were at or on the way to playgroups etc. Breastfeeding when out with 3 of them was tricky as I fed simultaneously and exposed a lot of myself /didn't have a hand for ds1 so I mix fed from about 4 months and then friends etc could help out.
I never planned to have 3, but in retrospect, as ds1 has asd, it's worked brilliantly for our family because the twins have each other for the times when ds1 doesn't want to play and he has them to support him when other kids reject him.
Congratulations!

Congratulations op! I have twin dd's who are 9 - wow how did that happen!! Like you I was quite upset when I found out, whilst everyone around me was madly excited. I had the strangest dreams, felt mournful for the single baby I had thought I would have ( was my first pregnancy ) and couldn't imagine how I would cope. Looking back I realise that was just fear of the unknown and after a tough pregnancy (Id twins so complications ) and premature arrival, it fell into place bit by bit. Yes the first year is tough - I stuck to the routine started by the neonatal unit like glue, and it helped dh and I to know what to do next!!
As previous posters have said - accept help, every bit that's offered - or ask for it. I did twin club for the first year, that made me feel normal - so many baby magazines or books are aimed at single pregnancies/babies only and I desperately needed to be amongst my own twin family!!
Twins are amazing in short, I wouldn't change anything for the world, my dd's are beautiful, funny and fascinatingly different but the same - a really life changing gift. I felt 'chosen' to be a twin mum - as pp said, and still have that ' I had twins I can do anything' pride

All the very best to you!!

I'm not a twin mum myself but I follow Poppy Dinsey on Instagram, who's currently pregnant with twins and blogging about her experiences. Might be helpful to have a read through her blog? poppyd.com/

Congratulations and good luck!

You will lose weight really quickly and get fit pushing a double buggy around.

They will be funny to watch together.

You will get to know almost everybody in your local area because people will talk to you.

I have 8 month old twin girls (non id) and yes it's hard work but so rewarding.

Take all offers of help is all I'd say!!

My two are much more independent already compared to friends singletons. When they cried in the early days I couldn't necessarily just immediately pick them up so we found other ways to comfort them so now they aren't as needy. I have several friends whose 8 month old babies will only nap if they are being cuddled and only sleep if they are being held- you can't do that with twins so they don't get used to it!

It'll be hard to start with but it very quickly morphs into enjoyment!! X

Ah bless you, congratulations!

No first hand experience but I just bumped into a mum with twin babies at the clinic. Am guessing 2-3 months old. She also had a 3/4 year old with her. Anyway the twins were serenely asleep in their respective car seats and all was very calm.
I asked her how she was coping with it all and she said it was "better than I expected" and she's managed to get them both broadly sleeping at the same times which must be welcome. She looked very much in control and not as knackered as all that. She'd even managed to straighten her hair.

Are you kidding? Having twins is amazing!

Mine are 11 now and they're the easiest kids of the four we have! They slept through from being a few weeks old (due to needing such a strict routine - you really do need boot camp style in the early years).

They're very funny to watch - they'll pick up their forks and eat in harmony and when they're asleep in separate rooms they're usually in the same sleeping position

The toddler years were fun, if one had a tantrum the other would tantrum just because his twin was lol. It kind of made it funny rather than stressful.

We didn't move house until they were 7, they shared a room until then. To be honest they wouldn't have wanted to be separated anyway until they were that sort of age.

It really isn't scary. People just assume it is and so make daft comments.

I have 7 year old twins boy and girl and the early days were a blur it was hard work. They are blooming great now, they get on so well together have an instant playmate. There were logistical problems getting places when they were small, like lifts on shopping centres and car parks were a struggle to get into and I couldn't fit the pushchair through some shop doorways and it took me twice as long to get anywhere. When they were tiny I joined a twin club at my local children's centre and this was s life line for me as there was always someone to hold a baby or so help me as it was rather overwhelming. You'll be fine I don't know any different as these are my only children and I've just had to get on with it.

Mine still share a bedroom at 18 (although one uses his sister's old room for his day room/computer and clothes) whereas my other children would never have shared a room at 18! They know and understand each other so well. Mine have never really had bad fights and seem to support each other more than the other siblings. The other siblings might delight in a sibling in trouble but the twins are each other's protector.

I'm 14 weeks with twins OP and found out at 7 weeks. I'd just about got my head round it by 12 weeks and then as we've been telling people their mostly happy reactions have helped out a lot. How far along are you?
I have a DD who is currently 2y9m so will be 3y2m ish by the time they arrive. I too was/am a bit upset about the potential effect on her. She is never happier than when she's got both me and DH's full attention and I do feel bad that there's going to be a good few months at least where she will not have this very often. I think she likes the idea of having baby siblings as she loves her dollies but of course we know the reality will be very different as mummy is stuck on the sofa for hours on end...
She's at the stage though where I am really realising how good it will be to have two the same age! I am constantly being begged to play with her, she mostly wants to do role playing games, and I can really see how this stage will be so much easier with two.
We did everything on demand with DD, and she was a pretty easy baby, but all the advice I've had is to get into more of a routine with twins so we'll probably go with that. plus we'll be three years older and we weren't exactly spring chickens when we had DD...

Hey there, OP.
Congratulations! I have beautiful, healthy, intelligent six-year-olds and can tell you it will be fine:-) Of course, it is extraordinarily overwhelming, but you are in an excellent position of having had a baby already. It's hardest for those with no experience, so you are already ahead there!

Please look up and join Tamba (Twins and Multiple Births Associations) -- you will find all the information and help you need there.

Are you having identical or fraternal twins?

There are a few of us on a thread on the Multiple Birth board (in the Being a parent section) with twins due in January, so feel free to join in there if you want to.

My twins are almost 18.

Raising them has been brill.
The baby stage was the hardest. After that it's actually often easier than with siblings with an age gap.

Plus it's not boring! You don't have to do various phases more than once. I look at friends who are on their 3rd GCSE cycle and thank my lucky stars!

Twins tend to sleep better together for longer - one usually cries and stops of the other starts

The older child is a godsend - as they are someone to chat too!!

I made sure when they named that we played -

She was also a good help with nappy fetching and bottle fetching - she could hear the difference in their cries and knew what hey wanted

She also held doors open when adults ignored us

She also helped put on shoes and get bags etc - could fault my little helper!!!

green that sounds excellent, I am now glad that our age gap is a bit bigger than originally planned! They grow up so much between 2 and 3. DD can get herself (mostly) dressed, she's potty trained in the past month, she can fetch things for me. I have been trying to think what other things i should try and 'train' her to do before the babies arrive :-)

Unfortunately since we told her about the babies in mummy's tummy her favourite phrase is 'I'm a baby too!' so we are carrying her around, spoon feeding her dinner, and all the rest... hopefully this will pass!

I had 8 year old twins

Being a twin mum is great - people think I'm super mum whether I am or not . I was totally overwhelmed when I found out - I'd budgeted and planned for one baby not two. My pregnancy wasn't easy but neither boy needed special care.

• accept help. Any and all. If people want to come round, ask them if they wouldn't mind loading the dishwasher or at least sticking the kettle on.
• keep your older daughter in nursery if she already is. My twins came before DS3 but I went off on mat leave and kept them in nursery. I was too tired to look after them as well as being pregnant, then when the baby was born I needed time on my own with the baby. They went to nursery for their free three hours a day which was great.
• get a good buggy and a buggy board if you plan to do a fair bit of walking. We didn't have a car when DS3 came along, my boys were not quite three so got tired easily. I also had a sling but DS3 was quite big so I couldn't use it for long.
• even if you're planning of breastfeeding, have a few ready made up formula bottles ready. I was induced early, my milk didn't come in, and my first night at home was the worst. Neither baby stopped crying . When the midwife came for her visit she showed me how to make a bottle and they slept for six hours after 2 oz each! (Mine were mix fed till four months)

Twins are great, congratulations

My friend has three boys and the youngest two are twins and same age gap as you and now the eldest is 10 and they're lovely. The interplay between them all is great - I know it isn't a given that siblings will get on. In the early days I remember she had a good few routines to keep track of things but it never seemed chaotic. We were quite envious tbh - two babies to squish!

Here are some practical tips:

1. Get a cleaner if you don't have one.
2. If someone offers help, always accept. Use it for sleep. "Could you please wheel the buggy around the local park (and walk the toddler too) while I get some sleep?"
3. Breastfeeding two is possible but very hard. Try not to obsess about it and top up with formula as needed. Your sanity is more important.
4. Get two microwave bottle sterilisers and a catering microwave if you are using bottles (we blew two Bosch microwaves till I looked up catering ones). Use the dishwasher for washing bottles.
5. You only need one cot in the beginning. They like being next to each other, and then you can use a cot divider for different sides as they grow. I would recommend getting a cot bed (we still use the bed part at 6).
6. Don't go mad on getting two of everything -- you won't need it. Though two baby bouncers will help (if you are alone you can feed both that way). Ask for discounts on everything (TAMBA negotiates many).
7. Yes to routine, but don't freak out if it doesn't work according to plan. They are different people and may have different eating and sleeping needs.
8. Prepare baby food in large batches and freeze in cubes -- they get through a huge amount. Maybe get a mother's helper to do that?
9. A large washer dryer is essential.

10. You will never have a quiet house again, especially when they learn to speak, so maybe find opportunities to get away for some silence. I am still working on that one;-)

It will be amazing in the end!

I just wanted to address your concerns that you'll have made things hard for your older DD - please don't worry about that at all.

I have twin sisters, 4 years younger than me, and I loved them to bits from the start. It was so exciting having twins as sisters - everyone wanted to come and see them because they were so unusual! I never felt that I had been pushed out in any way.

Congratulations, twins are wonderful.

I have twin boys and a younger one. They are the best of friends, I love seeing them having fun together. they settle in anywhere, school, summer camp, kids club, as they are together. They play independently and don't need lots of input from me. I won't lie the first year was hard, but it's easier than a singleton in some ways now.

Having twins is the best thing in the world. I love the bond they share and the fact that they face every milestone together. I feel incredibly lucky to be a twin Mum and have honestly never had a single day when I wished I'd had them one at a time!