AIBU to need to hear something positive about having twins?

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Found out 2 weeks ago that I'm pregnant with twins.

The reactions of people we've told have mostly been a combination of shock, laughter and lots of 'good luck' types comments.

To be honest, I still haven't really processed the news fully and I'm pretty focused on all the negatives (higher risk pregnancy, money issues, need a bigger car, eventually need a bigger house, how we'll cope, sleep etc etc etc). I don't feel that anyone has been able to make me feel even slightly less panicked or reassured.

I don't even know anybody who has twins who can give me practical or reassuring advice.

We already have one DD who is nearly 3 and this was very much a planned and wanted preganancy but I feel so overwhelmed at the moment.

Please, please could anybody offer any positives or at least practical tips for coping with end of preganancy and arrival of babies?

(I know it will be difficult and expensive and hard work please can that not be the ficus of the thread, I need to hear good stuff ).

TIA

I have toddler twins, nearly three. You'll be grand, you've already had one so you know the deal with newborns. I honestly think it's more of a shock to the system when you have twins first time round and have to juggle all the first time mum worries and lack of confidence in knowing what to do.
Ours are at that stage that people used to tell us about where they entertain each other... it's bliss. I was sat at my mums having a cuppa and a natter with her last week while they chased each other round the table and up the hallway on repeat for about an hour laughing their heads off
Early days were tough, my only wish is that I hadn't taken it so hard on myslef to try to be perfect, also rue the day I read GF twins book (dont it'll stress you out trying to follow her routines) and I wish I had been more Facebook savvy and knew about all the wonderful support groups for twin everything. You CAN tandem breast feed twins (there twin breast feeding FB groups) you CAN tandem babywear (look up twin slings on FB) and you CAN safely cosleep with twins if you want to.
They'll be a joy, good luck

Thank you so much to everyone that has replied. I was in two minds about whether to post, I do feel I need to be more grateful but it is just so overwhelming.

I'm so glad somebody else felt like they had ruined their older child's life. This was my first reaction upon finding out and I sobbed for DD.

I keep searching for cute twin pics on Pinterest to make myself feel a bit better.

It is overwhelming (and people can be so negative) but it really is quite an amazing experience. You'll be fine OP! I had mine when I already had a son and it was so much easier I think than having twins straight off.

Thanks badweek that's really helpful. I loved my sling with DD and we coslept until she was 18 months so good to know these are still possibilities

My b/g twins are 9 now. Yes it is very hard in the beginning. Can't pretend otherwise, I agree with PP re: routine.
But I always think it got easier with them both being at the same stages in life. I always thought it must be really hard gave 2 kids at different ages!
My twins are great friends and are always there for each other. They are in seperate classes at school which works really well for them.
Congratulations op! You are blessed.

You are going to be fine.

As other have said they are company for each other, no crying as soon as you nip to the loo.

I treated them as one when they were babies, fed at the same time etc, I found it easier. I used bouncy chairs to feed them until they were old enough for high chairs. I bf for a couple of weeks but gave it up because when I was alone I couldn't manage them both at the same time, that was the only downside for me really.

Positives? I had 2 DCs in 2 years and would MUCH rather have had twins than a 2 year pregnancy that still meant 2 in nappies, double buggy etc

Dont panic OP - I know people who've had twins and are perfectly ok so dont scaremonger yourself into a doom and gloom mindset

Congrats by the way

I don't have twins, so no practical tips, but I am a twin and it's always been a very positive thing for us, so I'd say your twin babies are lucky to have that. When I had my first I felt a bit sorry for him not having a twin! So luckily had brothers close in age for him, although obviously not quite the same!
My mum said when she had us she just got so used to having twins that when they saw people with only one baby they used to feel like "where's the other one?!"
Congrats!! It will be amazing I'm sure

My DS1 was 3.5 years when my twins were born so a similar age gap. When they were little I did the same thing for them at the same time, e.g. If one woke I woke the other, if one needed feeding I fed them both. Keeping them in sync really helped. The twins are now 6.

It is hard but I love having them. As they grew and developed they played with each other so I didn't need to entertain them as much. Now all three play really well togehther. The twins are really close, which means they wind each other up, fight but then they work together to raid the biscuits. it is really good fun, hard work but fun and it does get easier.

Although very early, my twins came home from hospital and slept wonderfully well. From 8-6 at 5 months !!! Yes it was hard to start but they are fabulous company for each other, they learn to share also. They are 7 now and I can hear them in their room talking and giggling away. Twins are fabulous xx

Although very early, my twins came home from hospital and slept wonderfully well. From 8-6 at 5 months !!! Yes it was hard to start but they are fabulous company for each other, they learn to share also. They are 7 now and I can hear them in their room talking and giggling away. Twins are fabulous xx

I have twins they're ace! Find a local twins club. Honestly this and the friends I made there saved my sanity. It is hard but it's so rewarding too. Mine are nearly 2 and I wouldn't change it at all. Don't be overwhelmed. To be fair people still say negatives now, oooh wouldn't want to be you, oooh double trouble, bet you've got your hands full etc etc. You do have to learn to ignore it I'm afraid.

As to cost. I should think you've got one if everything already. Pick up everything you can on fb selling sites. I've saved masses doing this.

You'll be fine but get the to twins club

Overuse of the word fabulous! Got a bit carried away

Twins are brilliant. DH and I are both twins and we also have twins and twins niece/nephew (yes you can imagine all the jokes we get - oh how we laugh). We all love being twins, I didn't find being a twin mum hard, do what works for you. I find not caring what other people think works best, if the house hasn't been hoovered or everyone has sick on themselves so what, it won't be that way forever.

I have 10 year old twins and a older son and had the same age gap as yours. I remember the totally rubbish comments from other people and feeling very nervous.

10 years in I have to say my twins are the best of fiends and entertain each other far more than " normal" siblings.

I agree with others about getting into a routine but it is honestly far easier than you think it will be.

Join a twins club and TAMBa as you will get support from people who understand.

I believe in treating all my children as individuals and detest the term " the twins" but have learnt to let it ride over me and as they get older they find there own friends and interests so I now feel I have three different children.

Also as a bi- note having twins changed my life and led me to train in a new career as triathlon running our local twins club found different skills I never knew I had.

Good luck and congratulations, you are a very lucky mummy

I always wanted twins. And I got them (no's 3 & 4!) They were lovely babies. And toddlers. And on and on. They're 13 now and mostly still a delight. They fight sometimes, but they're mainly well behaved.

I wasn't ever into routines, so we went either the flow and it worked out ok. I breastfed them for 9 months, mainly through stubbornness at being told I wouldn't be able to bf twins!

I loved watching them as they grew and all the cute interactions they had with each other. So adorable!

I will say that it is natural to feel like you've ruined the older child's life. I felt like that when I had DC2, and again when I had my twins.

Congratulations!

I'd a 3 yr old when my twins arrived. Yup v busy and take all offers of help. It's double trouble for me cos they re busy boys. HOWEVER it's the best experience of my life. They're brilliant and all 3 get along so well.
Funnily mine didn't know they were twins till they were 4. I mean they knew the shared my tummy but they didn't know the word twin. They called themselves brotherfriends.they're in different classes in school and different hobbies...they are identical but want different hairstyles etc.
To be honest allowing them to be v individual also really helped my dd to bond with them. She didn't feel left out fykwim.
It's just absolutly amazing. ..I m so grateful

Hi Op.

I found out at my 12 week scan ( I was actually 15 weeks) that I was having twins.

To say that I was devastated was the biggest understatement. The sonographer (bitch) sent me out of the scan room because I was crying so much and refused to complete the scan.

I cried because I was terrified of how I was goring to cope.

Once the boys were born it was hard. I had PND.

What saved me was starting a mum and baby group.

At about 6 months I saw them start to smile at each other. Then from then on I saw them look to each other for various Important stages and see what the other was doing.

Now they are two. They hold each other's hand, they hug each other when upset. They never leave the other behind. They are best of friends. They cuddle the other and they do play together.

It's the hardest thing but also the most rewarding.

Xxxxx

Twins are great. It's hard at first but gets better and better. Treat each milestone as it should be an incrediable event. Pm if you want any more info.

Posted too soon. Our B/G twins are great friends, they do have moment snu overall much closer than siblings. In separate classes at the mo, and are completely different to each other but very close.

5 year old twins here and it didn't scare me that much as went onto have another, now aged 2.

Not going to lie we had tough nights, but the amazingness of it far outweighed the negative. Wouldn't change my twin ecperience for the world.

They really are best friends, the bond is amazing. And I see how a normal sibling relationship works with the youngest who they get very annoyed with!

Routine is your answer, sometimes you really just have to go with the madness but with a consistent routine it'll all slot in place eventually. They'll be very well adjusted as will share from the outset and learn to wait. Twin clubs are a godsend for just an understanding chat and coffee if nothing else.

And it doesn't have to cost as much as you imagine as they do share (as babies my boy twin wore his sister's tights when desperate!)

My twins are nearly 4 and are fantastic. Not going to lie, pregnancy was tough as I had complications and the early days are a blur! I'd agree with what others have said about twins groups, being organised and taking up any offers of help! Also don't sweat too much about the house etc. We have a 2 bedroom house and an average sized car, I work part time and we manage fine. The best bit currently is all my my friends being pregnant with number 2 and me knowing that I won't have to do it all again!!

Congratulations

I have 18 month old twins. They are great company for each other, except when DS chases and cuddles DD when she doesn't want him to😅

Hi OP, not read all the answers but I have twins.
There are loads of positives.

They enjoy the same stuff. My friends are always juggling family days out and trying to please different age groups. My DC have always been happy to see similar films, have similar outings etc. because they're the same age.

They always have someone familiar around for the big hurdles in life - first day at nursery/school/ secondary/travelling into town alone/starting cubs etc. That makes them a bit more secure and happier to do new things.

They keep each other company. As they get older, they happily build sandcastles, do water play, go on bike rides, go to gigs - whatever age they're at, you can let them entertain each other for a while.

Though there is sibling rivalry, it's more evenly matched. If they squabble they're similar in ability.

They are extremely cute together. I mean, like having cuteness on a youtube loop. Mine used to move their legs identically in the buggy. It was hilarious. Or chuckle together.

It's more time efficient. Only one school drop off and pick up, one parents' evening a year, one nativity. One set of bedtime stories, one birthday party etc.

They get VIP treatment. It can be a bit wearing or embarassing sometimes (like when Mrs Christmas in the queue for Santa at Harrods insisted on whisking my two into a fast track VIP queue for no reason other than she liked the look of them) at times, but at other times it's helpful. I remember it was impossible for me to walk into the local supermarket without a cashier rushing up and insisting on pushing the trolley for me as I had my hands full with the double buggy. Same with airlines. People rush to help. I've even been stopped in the street by celebrities (twice) because they wanted to coo over DC. And DC were cute but no cuter than any other babies. It was just because there were two of them.

You get superfit. I had abs of steel and really toned arms from weightlifting them both all day long.

You really do get twice the love. Two chubby sets of arms wrapped round you, sloppy kissing your chin, stroking your face and cooing that they love you.