AIBU to need to hear something positive about having twins?

[Buildalegohouse]

Found out 2 weeks ago that I'm pregnant with twins.

The reactions of people we've told have mostly been a combination of shock, laughter and lots of 'good luck' types comments.

To be honest, I still haven't really processed the news fully and I'm pretty focused on all the negatives (higher risk pregnancy, money issues, need a bigger car, eventually need a bigger house, how we'll cope, sleep etc etc etc). I don't feel that anyone has been able to make me feel even slightly less panicked or reassured.

I don't even know anybody who has twins who can give me practical or reassuring advice.

We already have one DD who is nearly 3 and this was very much a planned and wanted preganancy but I feel so overwhelmed at the moment.

Please, please could anybody offer any positives or at least practical tips for coping with end of preganancy and arrival of babies?

(I know it will be difficult and expensive and hard work please can that not be the ficus of the thread, I need to hear good stuff ).

TIA

And ours were clothed from boot fairs for the first three years, no one could tell and they always looked beautiful - I may be biased!

I'm a twin. I've fought and bickered with mine during childhood and teens but we were invincible as we had each other through the little trials in life.

As an adult I love them with every inch of my being and would fight to the death for them.

I am an individual but am also half an egg. I will always have a friend who loves me as much as I love them and that is a joyous gift.

I have 22 year old twins so although it was a while ago there are still things whic I remember,both good & bad. Although routine is a nice idea, I never really achieved it. Mine were 8 weeks prem and fed every 3 hours for the first 5 months so I was knackered to say the least. I never set myself a goal - ie: if things were going well we went out, but if they weren't we didn't.

Friends mostly came to me with their babies rather than me going out, and I accepted all the help that was going. Neither mine nor DH's family were local so we did most of it by ourselves but I did have a cleaner for a couple of months which was a lifesaver.

I don't deny it was hard, really hard at times but you know, you do get there even when you think you can't and you do have fun, it's not all a drag. There was one low point though when I was shopping - it was a real grab and go, no time for dawdling, and some well meaning lady spent ages cooing over them while I was aware that my time was running out and then she said "oh, are they twins?". I will confess to snapping "no, I just borrowed an extra one for fun" to the poor woman. We were both mortified!

Good luck!

Best thing that ever happened to me... really full on, completely amazing, I'd do it again tomorrow. Enjoy your beautiful babies!

A massive positive here - you're all done in one go (if you want to be!). All of my mum friends who have just had one baby are all now saying 'we have to start trying for another soon' - I feel very smug when they say that! We're past the newborn stage, we've done colic, the waking every hour, the birth, and now we never have to do it again. That is a massive plus for me as the first 6 months was not enjoyable.

I am an identical twin and it has always been a positive for me. Let them be their own people with their own interests, and only dress them the same if they want to wear the same. Different coloured shoes was a good way for people to tell us apart! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, I really hope it goes well .

I have twins who are 9 years old and i still vividly remember the shock of being told, it takes a while to get your head around it. Everyone nervously laughed as a reflex/default setting when we told them, probably because we had a 14month old at the time! I love having twins. Join a twin forum and look for support. A multiple pregnancy can he tough going at the end and take all help you can get in the early days when they arrive but they are fab. You feel like a celeb being stopped to talk to in the early weeks after they are born ;) (be prepared for mad things to be said to you though!). I felt and still feel somewhat superhuman for having carried twins, the bond is lovely my girls (non-id) are very close. Wishing you the best.

They've always got someone to play with
You're only dealing with one age group

Join your local wins group (ask health visitor)

my twin boys are now 16 and they were so much easier than the singleton (their older sister).
you are so much more relaxed with a second baby anyway, and although they are the total opposite of each other personality wise (and were from since I can remember) they get on fabulously!
People still say to me 'how did I cope with twins?' - I honestly reply they were easier than the first single baby!
they have their own way of communicating, they entertain each other - always have a friend to play with (im a nurse who worked shifts so could never make playdates) and as now older siblings they are still good friends even though they are totally different to each other.
Embrace the joy of having two babies, take advantage of every offer of help and join your local twins group!!
good luck, twins are a total joy!!!
xxx

Mine are 7 now. Yes it's hard to start with but routine is the key. When they were 21 months I had a third too so had 3 under 2 but adding another didn't make much difference as we had routines in place. I wouldn't change it and love having twins

Mine are 15 now. Everyone who told me -double trouble - was surprised when I responded - twice as nice.

Yes, it is hard work, but once the new born stage is done it can be a lot of fun. Be prepared for people expecting you to give them almost matching names, and matching clothes and haircuts. But it's up to you to decide if you treat them like a pair or individuals.

Mine have names that are very different, even the shortened version, and they've always had different outfits. MIL often bought them matching dresses, but I used them on different days. So today baby 1 wears the pink dress and baby 2 wears the yellow skirt, fe.

Will you have any help when you get home with them? Is your DH hands on and available?

Twins often arrive a little early so be prepared for that and organise things like a hospital bag earlier than you think you need to.

Can you get some batch cooking done over the next couple of months?

Oh, and one of the best bits? Twenty itsy bitsy toes to tickle

My bil and sil had twins after 2 other dc. He says he totally bonded with them from outset as its all hands on deck from day one. He helped with all nightfeeds changes etc as two hands needed. He was good with others but loved being totally involved with his twins. Now grown and extremely close although living in different countries.
Good luck with yours.

Of the people I know who have had twins the one who's found it the hardest was the one whose twins were her first children. The ones who had an older child like you have said they occupy each other more so while there is double of many tasks, they were calmer when lying down together than their single siblings had been. Grown up twin friends I know have a great bond, too.

I love having twins :) I feel somewhat superhuman after a twin pregnancy, they are just gone 9 yrs old now and so close. Let it sink in and then look for support via forums etc. Take all and any help at the start. I had 3 under 2 for a few months, it wasn't easy but it wasn't awful, they are now 9,9 and nearly 11 and it feels like it went in a blur (certainly the early years) mind yourself, twins are fab x

Double post for the twins!!

My son in law has twin brothers. They both share a house together, but one has met a partner and is moving in with them. For the first time in over 30 years, they are going to be living apart. They have such an amazing bond, they really are two halves of one person and have never fallen out in their entire lives. Their mum says they were both amazing babies, and were always clung to each other as babies and toddlers. They even shared pain etc, when one had a burst appendix. Doctors had to investigate both of them .
It may be tough for you in the early months, but for your babies they're going to have an amazing journey together. Congratulations .

I have 3 month old twins. I too stressed when I found out, googled risks etc. However, I just did my best in pregnancy to control what I could- diet and lots of rest. Now that they are here they are a delight. They sleep better than my Singleton babies as they tend to comfort each other and don't need to be rocked to sleep as much. Feeding is difficult but try and get a routine, I bottle feed mine and it works for me. I did breast feed for a few weeks but it was too difficult and draining for me. Obviously this is a matter of personal preference but I would say do what works and don't beat yourself if you can't tandem breastfeed. Twins are fab and already mine are entertaining each other on their play mat. One thing which I found really useful was walking them every day, as if they are both grouching simultaneously then it is difficult to comfort both so I just pop them in the buggy and out we go and it settles them very quickly. Finally, ignore everyone unless they too have had twins and can offer some practical suggestions. X Good luck

I'm Gm to twins.no negatives here.
They were born at 38.5 weeks at midnight ,home by 9 am the next morning . They have been the easiest children out of my dd's 4 .
Boot sales and eBay were fantastic ( if money is tight ) and if not Breast feeding ,there are ready made bottles of formula.it just makes life a bit easier for the first couple of months .
Ours are starting school shortly ,can't believe the time has passed so quickly .
Enjoy .

Twins are a blessing. The pros far outweigh the cons. Congratulations.

My mom had twins (ID) so we talked about this.
You go thru the stages at same time, they have same needs. My DC were spread out over many yrs I had to juggle a range of different risks & needs at same time. Even with mine, I could at least share clothes sometimes on outings (if someone wet selves or blew a nappy out). Sharing clothes between children is very handy!

My mom became tough, a bit of crying didn't phase her.

They were cute dressed in same outfits.

There are A LOT of funny family stories about twin mix ups & swaps. Of course they went out on dates with each other's girlfriends or went into each other's classes or got mistaken for each other by people who later felt foolish about the mix up.

I've got twins and I found it easier than some people I know who just had one. Get in a routine and you'll be fine It's a real treat to have twins - we are the lucky ones! Such a special bond between them and in many ways much more relaxing, guilt-free parenting for you when getting them to bed/own room etc because they are never alone!

Mine both slept in one cot bed with their feet to each end and a sausage of blanket between their heads in the middle and the musical mobile suspended above their faces - a cuter sight than that is hard to find

4yo twins here, and a DS who was just 2 when they arrived. They're a joy and a delight - my DH says he secretly feels a bit sorry for parents who only get one at a time.
The first year was hard work, given that their brother was still not sleeping well and I breastfed on demand, but even then I knew I was so lucky.
Now the three of them have so much fun and love each other so much - it's just great.

Congratulations!

Our DTs are now nearly 5. I won't lie, the first year was really hard. But we had very little help and most days it was just me and the DTs as DH was at work and both sets of parents don't live near us. Hopefully you get some that like to sleep as ours did not sleep through the night until they were 2.5. However once they got old enough to want to play etc they have each other and my two spend a good portion of the day playing together instead of making me play endless tea parties. It means i can then get things done and then spend quality time with them.

Best advice I can give is to ignore anyone who says anything at all negative and accept any and all help, even if it's just hanging out the washing or making you a meal (that you can eat one handed with just a fork!).

Have a look and see if there are any twin parent groups in your area. They can be a great source of information and a good place to buy second hand baby stuff.

Congratulations again. If you have any specific questions please feel free to ask. xx

A friend has just had twins and both DC have twins in their class at school, including 2 sets in 1 class!

I don't know about the pregnancy side of it from the school mums but my friend's pregnancy went very well and she brought straight home 2 healthy 6-7lb babies.

All the mums have said that having twins is brilliant and they entertain each other, which will be the biggest blessing in 2 years time!