AIBU to need to hear something positive about having twins?

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Found out 2 weeks ago that I'm pregnant with twins.

The reactions of people we've told have mostly been a combination of shock, laughter and lots of 'good luck' types comments.

To be honest, I still haven't really processed the news fully and I'm pretty focused on all the negatives (higher risk pregnancy, money issues, need a bigger car, eventually need a bigger house, how we'll cope, sleep etc etc etc). I don't feel that anyone has been able to make me feel even slightly less panicked or reassured.

I don't even know anybody who has twins who can give me practical or reassuring advice.

We already have one DD who is nearly 3 and this was very much a planned and wanted preganancy but I feel so overwhelmed at the moment.

Please, please could anybody offer any positives or at least practical tips for coping with end of preganancy and arrival of babies?

(I know it will be difficult and expensive and hard work please can that not be the ficus of the thread, I need to hear good stuff ).

TIA

I'm pregnant with twins too! (20 weeks) I freaked out at the beginning too (I have a 4 year old and 2 year old) and went to my sister's house and cried because I was worried about houses and cars and Oran's and the impact but now I'm getting really excited. So few people have the experience of twins, it's very special. And it's lovely feeling them kick on opposite sides of your tummy at the same time.

My twins are 15 now and I absolutely love being a mother of twins, it was a shock at first and I was tired (but I was old when I had them!). They are wonderful company for each other, people do always raise an eyebrow but in reality you will cope when they are here and yes people love the idea of twins, they will always seem special and quite rare to many.

The first few months of twins is total madness, 3 months felt more like one very long day, with very little sleep.

But all of a sudden I think things became much easier, because they began to entertain each other, while I was able to enjoy a hot coffee.

Overall, their companionship means my twins seem to be much less demanding of my time than my singleton.

The twins are now 10 and thinking about secondary schools now, but it's reassuring that they have each other during these transition stages

No twins but 13 months between youngest DC. Sometimes when I was pregnant with youngest I thought twins would have been better because each time I moved on to the next stage and it got easier I'd think "agh I've got all this to go through again next year".
Hard work having two babies but they're often better behaved as they have to share and wait their turn for mummy's attention. And playmates for life.
Congratulations OP

My DP is a twin and when we had our DCs he sincerely wished for twins as he'd had such an enjoyable special childhood with his twin, he hoped for the same for our own DC. Didn't happen, but thought I'd share as hopefully your twins will have the same experience.

Congratulations OP!

My twins are now 15 and are utterly unlike each other. Like OP they were 3 years younger than DD1. I won't lie, it was hard work but DH could work from home a lot which helped.
Routine is what worked for us. Every day, breakfast at the same time, then a walk then a nap (hopefully) etc. etc.

We also had them both sleep in our room. It was chaotic and involved an extra mattress on the floor but it meant if one woke up and cried we were there right away before they woke the other.
It does get easier and it will be a lot of fun.

I have 10 month old twins, and 2 older children. I'm exclusively breastfeeding and sort of co-sleeping. It was hard at first, the first 6 months of breastfeeding were very hard, not going to lie but now it's easy peasy. Check out Facebook groups Breastfeeding twins and triplets UK and Gentle parenting multiples. My twins are amazing, I was horrified when I found out at the scan and always said twins would be my worst nightmare, I cried all through my pregnancy and on the eve of my induction (38 weeks) I remember saying to my husband how I didn't want these babies! Sounds awful but I can laugh about it now, I was so overwhelmed and scared of the birth, which was super easy and quick in the end, no complications. They're the cutest and watching their developing relationship is the best, I love it when they make each other laugh! Congrats, honestly, there's been tough moments but I wouldn't change it for the world.

I've got 11 month old twins and they are the best thing ever.
Seeing them giggle and smile at each other, and both coming in for cuddles with me at the same time is heaven.
The comments you get from others do go on and on 'double trouble' mostly, but my favourite is when people ask if my boy/girl twins are identical, that happens quite a bit
Find your local twins club, even if you don't go along, see if they have a Facebook group. Mine does and they are a great source of help/information, and they have a selling site too which is brilliant.
We always fed ours at the same time, so if one wakes in the night, get both up. Two bouncer chairs for bottle feeding at the same time/naps/somewhere safe to put them if you need to answer the door etc.
Congratulations and welcome to the club!

Thanks so much, I do feel a little less overwhelmed and a little less like a terribleness mother for being so devastated at first by the news. Reassuring to know I'm not the only one.

I need to sort my head a little more and think of some questions so I can take up the kind offers for PMing people.

Realistically I know that many, many people have been through this before but when you don't know any in RL it feels very isolating.

Can I join twin groups in preganancy then, I was thinking I would have to wait until after they were born.

Twin here. I have twins and my twin sister has twins.

I was thrilled. When you feel like sh*t because it's been a tough night, there is nothing like being stopped / helped in the supermarket by a stranger simply because you're a twin mum. It can be quite isolating on maternity leave but that'll never happen with twins!! Everyone wants a chat!

The first time you hear them giggling together down the monitor your heart will melt.

As everyone has said - that shared experience in pretty much everything they do. 45 years old now and no-one will ever place Pictionary / word association / charades etc with my twin and I as we finish each others sentences, know exactly what the other is thinking - we always win ! The bond is fab.

The practicalities are tricky and there is no doubt you'll have your hands full but it's ace. I absolutely agree that a twins club is a must - as someone else said, no-one can relate despite best intentions unless you have twins.

The day I learned it was twins was one of the best days of my life and they have been an absolute pleasure ever since (they were even born at 40 weeks naturally to the day - very very rare for twins).

I didn't want to join twin groups and I had older children and work full time but everyone needs to do what they choose to do and feels right for you. I was back at work full time shortly after ( worked by then mostly from home) but was able to breastfeed them exclusively until they were nearly 2 (one fed on each side and I always woke the other in the night if one woke for a feed). They are such special lovely boys. I am very lucky to have them.

I got some really interesting books on twins from the library but everyone deals with these things in their own way.

Not with the twins, but we had 3 under 4 when our 3rd arrived - 4, 1 and baby and we managed - both are feminist, both did as much at home, no sexism at home makes a massive difference and both always worked full time.

Do feel free to message! I'll help in any way I can!!!

Hello. 5yr old identical twins here. When I found out I cried - for about 6 weeks ! I didnt think i could cope. My dd was just 2 when they were born. I had had PND after dd and had no help except DH who is great but works long hours. I can honestly say the twins first year was amazing. It was so much easier than with my singleton ! They were relaxed happy babies and I loved my mat leave with them. They are hard work and the bickering is doing my head in but they don't see what the issue is - they argue like they breathe but it never means anything I think it's just a conversation for them ! They are very close to each other and adore and are very close to their big sister - they work best as a trio - it's lovely to see.

Twins are boys by the way - I was worried dd would be left out but it never seems to happen !

My best friend has 2 sets of twins 4 years apart and they are a fab family. Routine us vital in those early weeks but they then keep each other company and play together rather than needing you to constantly entertain them!

Twice the love

A playmate for life

I've not rtft but I have 2yo twins and a 4.5yo.

I too feared that I'd ruined my older child's life. I feared that I couldn't cope. I was worried about the car and the expense and was generally absolutely blooming petrified and I cried. Lots.

Join TAMBA. I cried down the phone at them more than once in the early days. And the discounts make the membership pay for itself.

Once the twins are here, look into home start. They may be able to help you.

If there's a local twins group, go there (not that I did that, but I have lots of twin friends because I was in hospital for a while before they were born and approx 80% of the antenatal ward happened to be multiple mums.)

When the twins first arrived DS1 was pretty disinterested. But the 3 of them are now pretty inseparable. My eldest loves his little brothers. I initially tried to dress them all differently (my twins are non-identical) but their brother started asking to dress them all the same, so I do sometimes.

He says the thing he's most worried about when starting school in September is missing his brothers.

It is hard - there's no getting around that. But then there are two cheeky faces giving you bedtime cuddles at the end of the day so it's worth it.

Happy to chat on PM if you think it'd help.

I have twins. It is hard but amazing! They are more independent as they have each other.
Good points:

• 2 babies in one pregnancy
• amazing bond between them
• people will talk to you so you will never be lonely even walking round shops (this may also be a negative)
• people will help you anywhere
• other twin mums are wonderfully supportive and there are great fb groups and local meet ups for multiple mums
• you will learn how to pick up a baby one handed using baby grow
• you will learn how to answer strangers questions on how they were conceived without using expletives! Are they natural? No one is a plastic copy . . . (Sometimes you will just say 'yes I fucked my DH/or no my DH spunked in a testtube')
• you get to watch two children grow together
• double the love
• twin cuddles are the best ever
• they have the best giggles together (you will not know what they find so funny but will be laughing too)

Bad points

• riskier pregnancy
• less sleep (chocolate and coffee will be your friends! )

You will be amazing and you will cope! Promise. Yes can join twin groups when pregnant. Our local one encorages going to meet ups before have babies - then when you have newborns there are friendly faces.

For me, a twin pregnancy was very similar to my first singleton one. I had no problems and carried on working until 2 weeks before they were born, and could have continued longer.

Once they get over the baby stage, they are great at entertaining each other!

No doubt a naive comment coming up, but did i - I don't have twins but DD is now 4 and I always think how lovely a companion would be as she plays with her toys on her own and it makes me feel a bit sad for her (FWIW I've tried playing with her but apparently I'm doing it wrong, I'm not good at voices and she's better off playing alone ). When kids come round she's in her element to have a playmate!

My DD was 2 when my twins were born.

Being a twin mum rocks! My twins are 10 now. They have a lovely relationship with each other. I've got lots of twin mum friends. And I got lots of help when out and about. People always hold doors open or offer to help if you looked stressed.

You are so lucky. You get to have an experience that most families don't have. Be organised and don't stress the small stuff and you will fly though the infant stage.

My DH said 'were lucky, not many people get to experience twins'

As he's right for once

Congratulations!!

You're very lucky - I'd love to have twins. I'm a twin and I love it.

My twins are now 10. Even in the tough times which foe me was around 18 months to 36 months, someone asked if you could have the exact same children 3 years apart would you? I said No. DH also said 'no'.

Congratulations on your twins posters

I'm a twin, as are a lot of my friends (twins playgroup) and we all love being a twin. We're a mix of fraternal and identical and both genders; but we all love the bond we have with our twin. Biggest downside is the joint presents and cards...even in our 30s...when we live in different countries!