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AIBU?

I want to harm my baby

137 replies

stressedmother5592 · 30/07/2017 06:29

And that's putting it nicely! I have a 5 month old daughter and all she does is scream. To the point where I want to physically harm her to get her to shut up. There's maybe ONE hour A WEEK that she is actually happy for. Any other time she is screaming. I don't want to hurt her and I don't want judgement please but what is going on, I can't take this much longer

OP posts:
Helspopje · 30/07/2017 06:32

Hug
Do you have anyone with you irl? Could you pass them the baby for a bit and have a breather?
Then......
Gp for her ??reflux
Gp for you ??mood affected by having such a tough time

oucha · 30/07/2017 06:33

Put the baby somewhere safe (cot/ clipped in car seat) and have 5 mins to yourself. Try shut out the crying and gather yourself. Is there anyone you can call OP?

Cocklodger · 30/07/2017 06:33

Do you have any family nearby or a partner?

CosmicPineapple · 30/07/2017 06:34

You need to speak to your health visitor asap.
Is there anyone family/friends who can help?

exWifebeginsat40 · 30/07/2017 06:40

make sure the baby is safe. then call 111 and talk it through. or if you really don't feel either of you are safe, 999. please talk to someone.

JustGettingStarted · 30/07/2017 06:42

You're not the only mother who has felt this way. You are right to talk about it... You need support and help.

I don't have any experience with this so I hope someone who does sees your post and gives you some practical advice.

I do have experience with screaming babies, though. Have you tried turning on a hoover right next to the baby? Loud white noise can be surprisingly soothing. If it works for yours, secure your baby in a cot or car seat and go have a bath or a cup of tea in the back garden or something.

Amanduh · 30/07/2017 06:44

Put her somewhere safe. Ring someone if you think you will harm her or yourself. Family, 111 if you have to. The screaming doesnt sound normal. Gp, health visitor. Be safe op Flowers

YogiYoni · 30/07/2017 06:44

Call 111. Get an urgent out of hours gp appointment for today. There is help available for you and her.

(I know this as I felt very similarly at that stage of ds's life. He pretty much screamed for a year. I sobbed for most of it. He's lying peacefully next to me now. We both survived that terrible year and are - mostly - happy now)

Fairybella · 30/07/2017 06:44

I had a baby who did this. It was awful. It turned out she was hurting from a bad neck after two chiropractor appointments she slept and was happy. It's not for forever it will get easier.

carwoes · 30/07/2017 06:45

Second GP visit. Could be reflux or maybe her milk is causing her problems? My first son had cows milk protein intolerance.

Rainbowqueeen · 30/07/2017 06:46

Poor you and poor her. Sounds like you are both miserable
Can you call your doctor and insist on an urgent appointment for her
In the meantime it is ok to leave her somewhere safe and take yourself off for a cup of tea
Thinking of you

Tootsiepops · 30/07/2017 06:46

Well done for admitting it. I could happily have killed my refluxy colicky newborn. I didn't, but I fully understand why you feel the way you do. You need a break. Is there anyone who can give you one? I'd happily come and help you out. Where in the country are you?

swingofthings · 30/07/2017 06:49

Been there. It was horrible and I felt soooooooo jealous of other mums who had angelic, smiling, quite babies.

With DD1, it went on until she was 14 months old, worse at night. I took her to the GP a number of time, but I was labelled an anxious mum, said she had colic (at more than 6 months!) and refused to listen. In the end, it turned out that she had problems digesting fibre and suffered with horrible cramps. Poor thing. It did stop me sometimes feeling like i wanted to throw her on the other side of the room, but knew that I would never ever do it, just getting the thoughts in my mind.

DS suffered from horrendous colic until he was 5 months old and cried cried cried. Horrible again.

What I can say though is that when friends experienced their angelic babies turned into horrible toddlers, it was my time to smile because my two turned into very easy toddlers, easy kids, and all in all easy teenagers, so the compromise was fair enough!

Good luck OP, hope it gets better very soon.

stressedmother5592 · 30/07/2017 06:51

Hi all, thank you for not judging. I am screaming inside and nobody seems to notice or help. Already been on medication for reflux and I stopped it because it was having no effect. Ive changed milk, been to dr, spoke to HV, been to feed in clinic and spoke to paediatric nurse - they can't see anything wrong. My MIL who has raised 7 children says she's never known a baby like it and she struggles to help as she gets flustered and doesn't know what to do

OP posts:
MarilynWhirlwindRocks · 30/07/2017 06:53

www.cry-sis.org.uk/
"Support for crying, sleepless and demanding babies"

Helpline: 08451 228 669, 9am-10pm, 7 days a week

Speak to someone who will understand x

Bue · 30/07/2017 06:54

What milk is she on? Has she been seen by a paediatrician? Assessed for CMPA?

stressedmother5592 · 30/07/2017 06:56

Paediatric nurse yeah, not assesed for that as there's no sign

OP posts:
Helspopje · 30/07/2017 06:57

What have you tried for reflux

Only thing that helped for us was losec

FrogsSitonLogs · 30/07/2017 06:57

What medication did you have? Was it increased with her weight? I had a cmpa baby and remember when he screamed for three days straight so I can't even begin to imagine how exhausted you are.

duracellred · 30/07/2017 06:58

OP - please get immediate help. Believe you are not the first and not the last. It will get better.....

stressedmother5592 · 30/07/2017 07:00

Gavinson, carobel, ranitidine, ompresole, anti reflux milk and prescribed milk. None of made a difference and GP said if those haven't helped, nothing will. Colief made a difference for about a day, but as usual with the child it'll either not work or stop work in after a day

OP posts:
randomer · 30/07/2017 07:00

You need to be honest and open with a friend /family member and a health professional.

Chocolatteandbiscuits · 30/07/2017 07:01

Hi stressed no one is judging. Parenthood can be tough, especially at the beginning. How long was she taking the reflux Meds for? Sometimes it needs to build up to work. My son had bad silent reflux and milk allergy. Back and forth to the docs and hospital a lot and eventually I broke down at the hospital and they referred me for PND. Must have been because all of the stress. Keep pushing, there is obviously something wrong with her. Eventually things started working and I felt I could breathe again. Make another GP and just be honest. Say youre struggling and you both need help. Hope you're OK OP. It will get better

FrogsSitonLogs · 30/07/2017 07:02

How long was she on the meds for as they take a while to take an effect. Have you seen a consultant allergist or paediatrician as it really sounds like you need to.

Chocolatteandbiscuits · 30/07/2017 07:03

Oh sorry just seen the posts above about the reflux Meds

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