I want to harm my baby

[stressedmother5592]

And that's putting it nicely! I have a 5 month old daughter and all she does is scream. To the point where I want to physically harm her to get her to shut up. There's maybe ONE hour A WEEK that she is actually happy for. Any other time she is screaming. I don't want to hurt her and I don't want judgement please but what is going on, I can't take this much longer

Understand about her screaming in your face. Worth trying the sling again and sticking earphones in and going for a walk (am sure you're exhausted and can't face it but worth a go). Have you given Calpol a go for teething pain? Not saying regularly but my DD didn't seem to get soothed by teething powder. With my DS (now 13mths) his gums ballooned in size when his top teeth cut through. I've never seen that before and he screamed the house down.

Is the current formula a cow milk based one?

Have you tried alternatives to cow milk-based formula?

I had a screamer/non sleeper and it was hell.

Whereabouts are you? Loads of us on here will happily come and give you a break, or we can signpost you to local resources.

Also can you google for a cranial osteopath in your area that sees babies? My niece screamed constantly for the first 8 weeks, apparently something about the delivery had twisted or strained a muscle in her neck so she had horrible headaches - two visits helped her a lot.

My mum says my brother was like this.

He cried non stop, she'd go through a mental list/change nappy/feed/wind/cuddle/check temperature etc and if he was fine she used to let him get on with it... drove her mad some days, then she discovered that with a fan on he'd stop!! He is now 21 and sleeps with the fan on every night but it saved my mums sanity!

I hope you find something that works for you OP it is tough. Many times I had to put my daughter in her cot and sit downstairs with the door shut for a few minutes to gather myself. It's hard going so definitely seek some support. As opposed to DD having reflux is it possible there is an allergy to milk etc? My nephew was much like this and he was put on prescribed formula, perhaps it's causing DD tummy aches and that's what is causing the crying?

X

Sorry crossed post re chiropractor- even one appointment could make a difference if you can find the money, it doesn't need to be a regular thing.

It's the worst thing, and as you get more and more sleep deprived you simply can't look at it rationally. I experienced with my first every single thing you're describing. We tried EVERYTHING - from white noise to colief to cranial osteopathy. Nothing worked. He stopped screaming at 14 months and is wonderful now.
I don't know what advice to give but perhaps try to accept it rather than looking for a solution. Lower your expectations about each day - to rock bottom. Sometimes I did just let him scream - so I could go to another room and sob. I did feel quite emotionless towards him because I was so exhausted. I did scream at him a couple of times - difficult to admit but after weeks and weeks of no sleep I was a wreck. And let the baby scream while you take two minutes for you and your DH to just hug. It will end.

By the sound of things you are a the end of your tether. Everyone has their limit and I think you are close to yours.

Do you think you can get through today? If not, I would go the the nearest walk-in centre and lay all your cards on the table.

Both you and DD require support now - I can't believe how many professionals have let you down so far.

OP, sometimes placing baby on their front in their cot and patting them very gently on the back in a rhythm can help. I did this with my four and the repetitive nature of the patting soothed them and would often send them to sleep.

With cmpa my baby was restless and screamy that's was all she had symptom wise until the blood x

I was also feeling exactly like you do when i had dc3, he was a miserable, screaming unsettled baby who never slept, even now I struggle hearing about other people happy babies that sleep all night. All I would suggest is take any help offered to you, any chance to get a break and when baby screams and you feel at breaking point put them somewhere safe and shut yourself away for a few minutes to scream or breathe or whatever.
Me and DH were so angry at each other all the time and I spent the first year wishing I hadn't had him. He is now just over 2 and still doesn't sleep through BUT he is happy, he no longer screamns constantly and I enjoy being around him. I just had to remind myself that it wouldn't last forever.
Looking back I don't know how we got through it but we did, and so will you, you aren't alone and you shouldn't feel bad for feeling this way.

For the bit of sleep she does get she sleeps on her belly, doesn't like her back much. She doesn't like being in one place either and has to be on the move constantly - just things I've noticed

I know money is tight but I wonder about getting properly sound proofed noise cancelling head phones for you both. That doesn't solve the problem of whatever is distressing your poor little girl, but it will give you and your marriage a little respite from the screaming.

If I had known it was this bad I would have terminated my pregnancy. That sounds awful and I'm so sad to say it but this is so fucking hard
My son had reflux and used to vomit up to 20 times a day, no medication helped him either and I actually harmed him I eventually got put into a mental health hospital. I'm so scared of that happening again, I don't want my kids taken off me.

Oh OP I feel for you. DS2 was a complete nightmare, constant screaming, couldn't be put down, constipation, constantly poorly with colds & chest infections & everything we did to help was wrong. I really felt I was going to have a complete breakdown. Turned out he had a posterior tongue tie, silent reflux (silent my fucking arse), cmpa & a low immune system poor little thing. We had to visit the GP 51 times before his 1st birthday, a & e 3 times & out of hours I lost count of. We had to fight every step of the way to get taken seriously & for them to listen to us. Go back to the GP, demand a second opinion, keep going back until they listen. Ring the HV & ask for a paediatric referral. Keep a diary & log everything in it for them, maybe even video her at her worst to show them (DS would always look like an angel with hcp), ask for help for you.

You WILL get through this. Keep posting here for support.

That sounds awful, I'm not surprised you feel miserable. What happens if you give calpol? I think you need to go back to the GP, both for your tablets and to insist you need another referral for the baby.

One other idea for support a bit further down the line after you've been back to your GP is a charity called Home Start. They offer support to families with children under school age. I've worked with them and they support many different families - you get a regular trained volunteer who comes round to your house to help out, be it looking after your children while you rest or offering emotional or practical support. You're not judged in any way. I think they are amazing for families who don't have family support close by.

You are doing an amazing job. Can you imagine being in a office and being screamed at all day?? Being a parent is the hardest job emotionally and mentally. x

Similar here with 2 children with severe reflux and food intolerances. What are the nappies like? Is poo as expected or is it a greeny coloured or runny or mucousy? When is the screaming the worst? Is it evening or early hours of the morning? Are you still breastfeeding at all? Exactly what formula was prescribed?

She also has tounge tie which resulted in me not being able to feed, it was cut at 4 weeks and took a fucking month for that to settle down. I regretted ever getting that done!
Calpol doesn't really do much either. I never know what point to give it at. I have tried it once or twice and that makes her scream a bit more, probably because she's been forced to take something
It's so weird as well because we usually go to bed at 8, so 7.55 she will be quiet as soon as we upstairs she's screaming not taking milk or a dummy, holding rocking patting go out the fucking window like nothing helps and she will just scream and scream but then that wakes my son so we can't allow her to cry it out.

You may have a post natal illness. If so it will make it that much harder to deal with the situation. As pp have said: get help, you are by no means the only one. It will get better. Take care of yourself.

You NEED to be apart from DD today - those around you need to set up a support system. I know you are frightened and scared - imagine if you did lash out and do the unthinkable? You would never forgive yourself.

Do those around you know how bad this is for you?

Also if your son had reflux it is likely that there is some kind of link between them both.

I too had to go to the gp and sit there day after day until they agreed to do something. We got referred to a specialist who diagnosed silent reflux from cmpa and soya intolerance immediately and changed our lives. DS was the same but with normal reflux thrown in. We went through the std reflux meds which didn't work and got referred back to the specialist again very quickly.

"...maybe even video her at her worst to show them."

Very sensible idea.

Might be what finally gets a proactive person to understand how beyond hard it is right now.

I also had a sleep trainer in and wanted to smack them. Made it very clear they were never to come back. They were more than pointless. They told me to take her upstairs for her naps as she doesn't sleep in the day. But I can't do that because my toddler will follow, or he will jump in his room and just make noise so that was never an option. And she hates a dark room
Nappies are normal, nothing unsual. Early afternoon to evening are when the crying gets really bad usually from 3pm on wards, no not breast feeding only managed for two day, I had a section and was left in pain and they tried getting her to latch on but eventually gave up and said I should express but they didn't give me anything for it and just left me alone. I even fell out of bed on day 2 as I needed to get to my baby and nobody came to help nutrugima I'm sure it was called

OP. I am so so sorry you are going through this and really hope you are able to find help. I know it's expensive but cranial osteopathy really helped with my DS. I was so sceptical at first, but desperate for help with his colic. We found an osteopath who specialised in babies and she was absolutely fantastic. With just a few gentle manipulations we had a calm, content baby. I couldn't believe it. She could tell straight away that he had had a traumatic birth (a hurried Ventouse delivery as he was in distress) and said he was misaligned, which was probably true as he was yanked out with force! The change is him was phenomenal and I couldn't believe it. I really feel for you, OP, and hope you can get help xx

I really do feel for you OP and your GP does not sound sympathetic or supportive is there another doctor at your practice you can see.
It is so frustrating when a baby constantly cries and you can't stop it.
It sounds like there probably is a physical reason for her crying and discomfort and I agree with @RelaxMax a cranial osteopath absolutely should be able to help. One of my sons was in a lot of discomfort because during birth everything felt tight around his head - I think I had pushed too quickly. Anyway a cranial osteopath helped massively. It isn't cheap but if you only need one session it will be worth it for the sake of your sanity and baby's comfort. Think about £30-£40 could someone help you with the money if that's tricky?