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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming with DSIS???

411 replies

K1092902 · 30/07/2017 00:55

DSIS is getting married end of August. I'm maid of honour and DSD2 is supposed to be one of three bridesmaids and DD a flower girl with DNiece.

DSIS is visiting from France tomorrow. They are staying for 3 weeks but we will only be seeing them tomorrow as we go to London on Monday and DM/DF and DSIS are going to Wales for a fortnight a long with future BIL and DNiece.

DSD2 is 18 and we have recently found out she is pregnant.

DM and has told DSIS over the phone sometime this week. I wasn't aware of this and was going to tell her in person when we see her tomorrow

She has now decided she doesn't want DSD being a bridesmaid as she doesn't want to be shown as condoning teenage pregnancy.

DM telephoned me upset 20 mins ago to say DSIS phoned earlier to tell her.

DM has now been put in a position and doesn't want us coming for dinner tomorrow as she knows we will argue.

I'm fuming. I'd be on the phone to her now but she will be driving to Calais to catch her ferry.

OP posts:
Sashkin · 30/07/2017 20:03

That's your opinion.....not a fact!

Obviously. What a strange response.

CouldntMakeThisShitUp · 30/07/2017 20:08

Well some people obviously need it pointing out.......

McTufty · 30/07/2017 20:08

couldnt

Having a no child policy is totally different to inviting someone to be BM and then demoting them because you disapprove of something they've done.

Not asking her to be BM in the first place - fine, as you say, no one has a right to be BM. But kicking her out because she's pregnant is a different thing and is not cool. At all.

CouldntMakeThisShitUp · 30/07/2017 20:14

She HASN'T been 'uninvited to the wedding' though!
She would be there - just not as a bridesmaid.

The DSD would be obviously pregnant by that time, and the bride does NOT want a bridesmaid with a baby bump.

The scenarios you mention are not comparable.

CouldntMakeThisShitUp · 30/07/2017 20:21

McT

It isn't a 'different thing' at all.

The fact is the bride does not want an obviously/heavily pregnant bridesmaid and the extra hassle that comes with it.

ladyyyglittersparkles · 30/07/2017 20:21

Couldnt
Are you the fucking judgmental cunt sister?!

Lunde · 30/07/2017 20:24

Couldn't - do you really think that she will be obviously pregnant at 13 weeks? Chances are the dress will fit just fine

CouldntMakeThisShitUp · 30/07/2017 20:32

Pot calling the kettle eh lady?

She will be 4, almost 5 months pregnant by that point.....you don't know for sure that she WON'T be showing!

Fact remains - the bride has every right to decide on her bridesmaids.

thegirlupnorth · 30/07/2017 20:33

Hopefully she will change her mind once she's seen her tonight.

mydietstartsmonday · 30/07/2017 20:34

At this point I think I would withdrawal from MOH duties. Let your little girl be flower girl and still attend the wedding but not as part of the wedding party.

user1493630944 · 30/07/2017 20:40

Where is the baby's father in all this?

ladyyyglittersparkles · 30/07/2017 20:41

That depends Couldnt on whether you are the sister or not?

Chatoyant · 30/07/2017 20:45

I'd imagine the baby's father is pretty irrelevant in this thread user as he was unlikely to have been part of the wedding party?

BubblegumFactory · 30/07/2017 20:56

Why does your sister want to get married?
To pledge commitment and love to her partner in front of and with support of family and friends?
If so, can't understand her problem.
Is this the start of her becoming all bridezilla?!!!?

kittybiscuits · 30/07/2017 20:57

I hope your sister is a virgin. Otherwise what a stupid hypocrite.

CouldntMakeThisShitUp · 30/07/2017 20:57

You sound like the entitled DSD lady

If i were the bride-to-be, i'd have picked up the phone and spoken to DSD about it.

kittybiscuits · 30/07/2017 20:58

'If' Hmm

Moussemoose · 30/07/2017 21:03

Only virgins should be bridesmaids. I think there should be some form of medical examination. Also if the bride is wearing white she should be a virgin too.

In fact everyone who is not married should be a virgin. A certified virgin.

Anyone else should wear a dress that indicates they are a slut, or a sign with 'whore' written on it. A red dress. Hmmm. Hmm

AnneTwacky · 30/07/2017 21:10

I like looking back on my wedding photos from 20 years ago and the best part for me is seeing the people I love.

I think if OP's sister makes a big deal about DSD being pregnant and refuses to let her be bridemaid, she may look back on the photos, she wants to be perfect, and realise instead of fond memories, she is just faced with an incomplete picture of her family and her thoughts of her big day tainted by the awkwardness, her decision will cause.

I really hope she reconsiders her position. Even if there is a small baby bump, it's not an issue in a wedding photo. Everyone's attention would be on the happy couple anyway.

histinyhandsarefrozen · 30/07/2017 21:10

Only freaky bridezilla types could possibly think the dsis reaction is fine.
She's ridiculous. I would be embarrassed to know her.

ladyyyglittersparkles · 30/07/2017 21:24

Your counter arguments are quite shit to be frank couldnt 😂😂😂

QuackPorridgeBacon · 30/07/2017 21:28

Can you explain why it's not being mean to demote someone from being a bridesmaid, purely for the fact that they are a pregnant adult?

notapizzaeater · 30/07/2017 21:42

Wow, I don't think I'd attend

zzzzz · 30/07/2017 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zzzzz · 30/07/2017 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.