To be enraged there is no outcry over the scale of violence against women and girls?

[NoLoveofMine]

Just a handful of the girls and women attacked and in some cases murdered by men unknown to them for no other reason than their sex in the UK in the last few months alone:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-40529081
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jun/27/man-arrested-in-manchester-over-alleged-of-four-year-old-girl
www.itv.com/news/london/2017-04-24/e-fit-appeal-after-12-year-old-girl-sexually-assaulted-in-swimming-pool/
www.richmondandtwickenhamtimes.co.uk/news/15339336.Mother_speaks_out_about_sex_attacker_who_assaulted_her__brave__daughter_after_getting_off_Twickenham_bus/?ref=mrb&lp=14
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/apr/28/man-who-raped-stranger-hours-before-his-wedding-given-life-term
www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/15280636.VIDEO___Dangerous__rapist_jailed_for_life___but_are_there_more_victims_/
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-40345133
www.itv.com/news/anglia/update/2017-02-28/police-outraged-by-rape-attack-in-ipswich/
www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/rape-sex-attack-manchester-manhunt-13236465
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-39377626
amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/apr/12/vadims-ruskuls-jailed-murder-pardeep-kaur-hotel-worker-m4
www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/police-step-up-patrols-after-15yearold-girl-sexually-assaulted-in-twickenham-a3592681.html
www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/chiswick-assault-woman-19-shoved-to-ground-and-repeatedly-punched-in-random-attack-a3429646.html

Just a small number of those I can remember off hand (which actually made any news) from the last 10 months alone. Then, to compound them all, there was this:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-40763620

Pretty much all of these made only small local news. I just do not understand how people can't see the scale of this and how people can't fear for their daughters.

It is a massive problem.

And I agree with previous posters about women often not even realising that they have been victims. Eg as a slim but big boobed teenager (many years ago) I attracted a lot of unwelcome attention. I had no idea, none, that random strangers grabbing my breasts was a sexual assault. I thought it was just something I had to accept. Worse, I laughed along (even though I wanted to cry) because I didn't want to admit that it upset me. What kind of screwed up thinking is it to feel that you have to pretend that you don't even mind someone touching you intimately against your will?

I'd bet my life that I'm far from the only female to think that way (or in my case to have thought that way when I was younger).

But then, people would argue that that means that I was actually to blame because I didn't 'fight back'.

My best friends dad (who has known me since 16 I'm 32 now)
Told me to give him a hug (we were leaving, flying back home after staying in his house abroad)
He then grabbed me whilst everyone was outside
And rubbed himself on me whilst almost kissing my neck

My initial reaction was shock and horror
I then APOLOGISED as thought i must've made him think I like him or something (he's 76!)

My dads reaction.. "it wasn't assault it was a guy trying his luck"

My mums reaction... "what were you wearing"

I've suffered years of DA,

Police "He just wants to see his kid"

Social worker "He said it was all a misunderstanding"

Tbf some police and other social workers have been good but I have had a lot of dealings with professionals who have almost taken his side.. I should say he's got nearly 200 convictions including strangling and threatening to rape a police officer. Enough said

All of women's lives are dominated by the possibility of male violence.

Good grief, you need to get a grip. No one is denying the violence and abuse suffered by some women, and some posters have been victims of horrendous experience. No one is excusing, condoning or minimising this. but THIS IS NOT THE NORM! Most women will never even witness male violence. Most women do not live like that, it's not normal, it's not a curse, it's not a standard of life. (which reinforce the point, if it happens to you, you do not have to accept it! Others do not live like that!)

Sorry to hear of your experiences Needclosure. I hope you're getting through everything alright now.

treaclesoda I have had similar experiences; street harassment is such a major issue which starts at such a young age yet nothing really is done about it. It seems largely expected. It's never acceptable at any age, of course, but that it starts for so many in our early teens (14 was my first instance) is abhorrent.

MiddleEnglandLives sadly very true.

Thanks to so many who've contributed to this thread; I haven't contributed too well but it's been reassuring to read so many articulate responses from others who are also enraged by all this.

YANBU
Some days the scale of it is so overwhelming to me I feel like I can't cope.
Yes it should be a hate crime.
And every single instance should be labelled as MALE VIOLENCE so we can name the problem.

I concur IndominusRex and get the same feeling regarding being overwhelmed sometimes. As I said, the links in my original post were just a handful of those I could remember off hand in the past 10 months or so alone, just those of women and girls attacked by unknown men for no reason other than violent misogyny.

treaclesoda, I am sorry that you were abused but as you say it boils down to education. There are many people who are abused daily and are not aware they are being abused until they either realise or someone informs them.

Coddiwomple

I think you sadly mistaken. I think you will find more women have witnessed male violence than haven't. It's not just the physical violence, it's the attitude that you are lesser. So when our secretary was away why did my boss ask me to cover the phones not one of my equal ranking and more junior male colleagues? I refused and asked why he hadn't asked the blokes. He asked a junior female on another team instead

I have devoted my entire adult life to resisting, reducing and preventing male violence. There are lots of us. I truly believe we are on the right side of history. We will prevail.

And yet...on a day to day basis it can seem overwhelming, insurmountable, all pervasive.

But it is not immutable. Change is slow but it is happening. Never give up.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude

I see women abuse more like child abuse: it's there, it should not be, we have to find ways to stop and even better prevent it. It doesn't mean that all children will be abused, and that all parents must be looked at suspiciously. It is in no way acceptable, or a light issue, but it's not inevitable.

People who haven't witnessed misogyny believe no one has I've noticed. Yet nearly every woman I've spoken to, if the subject comes up, has a story. I've never yet met a man who did not feel some kind of entitlement over women, even if it went no further than complaining about not always being able to do exactly what they wanted after having children.

Violence certainly should not be inevitable, and adults have more choices, we can agree on that.

I think about this every day.
Screaming inside.
What to do except be outraged at every example of inequality, injustice, internalised misogyny etc ...?