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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be enraged there is no outcry over the scale of violence against women and girls?

187 replies

NoLoveofMine · 29/07/2017 23:59

Just a handful of the girls and women attacked and in some cases murdered by men unknown to them for no other reason than their sex in the UK in the last few months alone:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-40529081
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jun/27/man-arrested-in-manchester-over-alleged-of-four-year-old-girl
www.itv.com/news/london/2017-04-24/e-fit-appeal-after-12-year-old-girl-sexually-assaulted-in-swimming-pool/
www.richmondandtwickenhamtimes.co.uk/news/15339336.Mother_speaks_out_about_sex_attacker_who_assaulted_her__brave__daughter_after_getting_off_Twickenham_bus/?ref=mrb&lp=14
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/apr/28/man-who-raped-stranger-hours-before-his-wedding-given-life-term
www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/15280636.VIDEO___Dangerous__rapist_jailed_for_life___but_are_there_more_victims_/
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-40345133
www.itv.com/news/anglia/update/2017-02-28/police-outraged-by-rape-attack-in-ipswich/
www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/rape-sex-attack-manchester-manhunt-13236465
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-39377626
amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/apr/12/vadims-ruskuls-jailed-murder-pardeep-kaur-hotel-worker-m4
www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/police-step-up-patrols-after-15yearold-girl-sexually-assaulted-in-twickenham-a3592681.html
www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/chiswick-assault-woman-19-shoved-to-ground-and-repeatedly-punched-in-random-attack-a3429646.html

Just a small number of those I can remember off hand (which actually made any news) from the last 10 months alone. Then, to compound them all, there was this:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-40763620

Pretty much all of these made only small local news. I just do not understand how people can't see the scale of this and how people can't fear for their daughters.

OP posts:
MissBax · 30/07/2017 01:01

I do hope things may have changed somewhat in the next decade or so, but frankly as things are only worsening I can't see it happening. What is the solution??

NoLoveofMine · 30/07/2017 01:01

I'll be starting Year 13 in September Terry. I just feel very disheartened knowing my achievements don't really matter. No matter what, I could be subject to sexual violence at any time, and many men will see me as nothing but a body to do with as they please.

OP posts:
stella23 · 30/07/2017 01:07

It's also compounded by things like the BBC pay discrimination, it just adds to our lower value

NoLoveofMine · 30/07/2017 01:26

It's all just horrendous stella.

OP posts:
CiderwithBuda · 30/07/2017 01:36

It's horrific. The news reports of that poor 14 year old have sickened me. Poor poor child.

NoLoveofMine · 30/07/2017 01:39

Just horrendous. As if it wasn't bad enough a man raped a 14 year old girl in the first place, that she sought help, terrified, and that man preyed on her to attack her again is just horrific. Plus the victim blaming on social media, of course.

OP posts:
shakingmyhead1 · 30/07/2017 04:05

not much we women can do, we can protest and chant and make petitions but until there are laws made ( and unfortunately by most men) that actually punish for the crimes and force the full punishment nothing will change!
Maybe as a project you can start a letter writing campaign where you get thousands of women and men to write letters and emails ( and flood them in) to your mp's and keep it up until laws are created to punish properly and that school systems start teaching appropriately that females are not just there for men to use, and stop blaming girls/women and to stop with the damn sexist dress codes that are only directed at females ( normally with the rules its to stop them from distracting the males, boys and men)

pallasathena · 30/07/2017 07:34

Make a start by boycotting and calling out the retailers selling sexist, misogynistic children's clothes with vomit producing slogans and cutesy representations.
I despaired recently while on holiday in Spain. Spanish children wearing age appropriate, stylish yet practical shorts, tee shirts, chinos et al and the Brits kids in their cheap, slogan splattered clothes referencing macho guns, football or camouflage for boys and pretty/cutesy slogans incorporating kittens and unicorns for girls.
And the adults....!
I think I spent a fair bit of time silently seething .

MudGolum · 30/07/2017 07:40

How about we all march or protest? On an agreed date. There's Mumsnetters all over the UK. Agree a date. I'd be up for organising one in my area.

lostincumbria · 30/07/2017 07:44

There's little evidence of a rise in these crimes. There's always been a steady level of rape and sexual assault. What is different is the reporting of the crimes to police, and willingness of the police to record and pursue.

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/compendium/focusonviolentcrimeandsexualoffences/yearendingmarch2016/overviewofviolentcrimeandsexualoffences#what-do-we-know-about-sexual-offences

lostincumbria · 30/07/2017 07:46

I also feel there's an increased level of reporting by the press. It's a horrible thing but not a rising thing.

pallasathena · 30/07/2017 07:59

Oh Well, that's all right then...lets avoid the issue in the time honoured way by citing opinion parading as fact.

Needclosureafter11yearsapart · 30/07/2017 08:34

I have a daughter of nearly 15.
I regularly read of attacks late at night, in parks or down the beach (am aware things happen in other places)
She knows only to stay in well lit areas
To carry her personal alarm key ring in her hand if she's on her own and it's dark
To not walk past parks or in secluded areas i.e. Alley ways etc, but if she has to to make sure she's right near the road (so can be seen)

I've also read up on ways to defend yourself if need be.

I myself have been flashed at 3 times, been followed into my car park in broad daylight, witnessed a man try to drag a girl into a car park at knife point, seen domestics (where no ones called the police or helped)

It is terrifying how many attacks are taking place.
Take that poor 14 year old who got raped then assaulted by the man she flagged down for help 😔 It literally turns my stomach and makes me so enraged.

I could cry for these poor victims whose lives have probably been completely ruined all in the name of sex.

I must admit after constantly hearing of abuse towards females I've recently become a bit of a feminist.
I want my daughter to feel equal and empowered.

We need to empower, educate, train and arm ourselves and our girls x
I think we should all carry alarms and anything legal that can be used for self defence.
I do also have a red gel spray (called criminal identifier) that you spray on the attacker so it temp stains their face!

Stay safe everyone 💜 xxx

LowGravity · 30/07/2017 08:35

The problem with sexual violence stats is the majority of victims do not report

From rape crisis

Only around 15% of those who experience sexual violence choose to report to the police

Which makes the actual figures terrifying, particularly given the victims are overwhelmingly children

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/feb/11/30-of-female-victims-under-16

However for the few of us who are indeed enraged by this, the silent majority don't seem to give a shit. Mumsnetters, along with half the UK were out in force demonstrating against the new POTUS but when it comes to protecting women and children, radio silence. I'll bet this thread, like others before it will quickly disappear.

Needclosureafter11yearsapart · 30/07/2017 08:37

I'm defo up for a match!!🙋🏻 🙌🏼💪🏼

Needclosureafter11yearsapart · 30/07/2017 08:38

March even.. damn fat thumbs !

coddiwomple · 30/07/2017 08:48

Violence against boys is equally sickening
to quote only a few:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-isle-of-man-40555882

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-40005490

We should protect both boys and girls equally, and not minimise one or the other. Victims are full of shame, and pretending that boys cannot be victim add to their burden.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 30/07/2017 08:52

It doesn't really matter if it is increasing or not. The level of violence against women by men is just wrong.

AssignedMentalAtBirth · 30/07/2017 08:54

Jesus

Who the fuck is 'pretending' that boys cannot be a victim? But tell me cod why we, as women, are not allowed to talk about sexual violence against women and girls. Why? And who the fuck are you to police us?

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 30/07/2017 08:55

Okay, how about a campain encouraging more women and girls to report? If the police suddenly had to deal with 85% more sexual assaults, they would have to sit up and take notice.

NoLoveofMine · 30/07/2017 08:55

Sadly I very much think that's the case LowGravity. I suppose there wasn't much point in me starting this thread and I'm sorry for the topic of it; it's just something which regularly gets to me.

OP posts:
JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 30/07/2017 08:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LowGravity · 30/07/2017 08:57

Why does every conversation about violence against women have someone pop up and lament how 'men are victims too'. Males account for 5% of sexual violence victims, the overwhelming majority of victims are FEMALE.

AssignedMentalAtBirth · 30/07/2017 08:59

And WHO are the attackers? Shall we talk about the men now?

Kindlethefourth · 30/07/2017 09:01

Huge efforts are made when cases get into the hands of police and CPS and court system to obtain successful outcomes in domestic abuse cases and have been for years. Magistrates would have been trained to look at the patterns and statistics of repeat offending but can only sentence within their powers.