To be enraged there is no outcry over the scale of violence against women and girls?

[NoLoveofMine]

Just a handful of the girls and women attacked and in some cases murdered by men unknown to them for no other reason than their sex in the UK in the last few months alone:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-40529081
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jun/27/man-arrested-in-manchester-over-alleged-of-four-year-old-girl
www.itv.com/news/london/2017-04-24/e-fit-appeal-after-12-year-old-girl-sexually-assaulted-in-swimming-pool/
www.richmondandtwickenhamtimes.co.uk/news/15339336.Mother_speaks_out_about_sex_attacker_who_assaulted_her__brave__daughter_after_getting_off_Twickenham_bus/?ref=mrb&lp=14
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/apr/28/man-who-raped-stranger-hours-before-his-wedding-given-life-term
www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/15280636.VIDEO___Dangerous__rapist_jailed_for_life___but_are_there_more_victims_/
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-40345133
www.itv.com/news/anglia/update/2017-02-28/police-outraged-by-rape-attack-in-ipswich/
www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/rape-sex-attack-manchester-manhunt-13236465
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-39377626
amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/apr/12/vadims-ruskuls-jailed-murder-pardeep-kaur-hotel-worker-m4
www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/police-step-up-patrols-after-15yearold-girl-sexually-assaulted-in-twickenham-a3592681.html
www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/chiswick-assault-woman-19-shoved-to-ground-and-repeatedly-punched-in-random-attack-a3429646.html

Just a small number of those I can remember off hand (which actually made any news) from the last 10 months alone. Then, to compound them all, there was this:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-40763620

Pretty much all of these made only small local news. I just do not understand how people can't see the scale of this and how people can't fear for their daughters.

I agree OP there is too much male violence against females. It will never change though until we, as women stop covering up for crappy men. Why do women "date" rapists in prison, why do we listen to new partners slag off their exes, why do we say "she asked for it" etc etc. We need to stop this, stand together and start asking the questions. The law is there, rape is a crime. But these men must have dads, mum's, sisters, etc why have they not learnt boundaries, consent, respect, care, etc. I don't know what the answer is. I talk to my sons about respect, porn, photos on snapchat and consent all the time. I doubt my ex H does. A male friend said to me "you go on a lot to your boys about consent"......yes I do it is important". I asked him if he talks to his son about it - no. I asked him if he tells his daughter not to walk home on her own. Yes. It is hypocracy And it continues and is getting worse.

Dusty
It actually makes me very angry when women tell other women to shut up talking about sexual abuse of women because they themselves have sons. I mean, how blinkered, how thick, how obtuse is it possible for one person to be.

Totally agree. It's shocking

Is it going to take a female victim striking back

& killing her male attacker/s during the attack on her,

for everyone to see/think/understand/believe that male violence towards females is wrong?

Ah vestal! How's the job hunting going?

Surely everyone in the country sees/thinks/understands/believes that it is wrong. Even the ones who do it know its wrong

They probably know it's wrong however when the victims sexual history gets brought up in the defence and the sentences are so poor the deterrent is hardly there is it

Yes, OP. It's sickening.

And, yes our 'civilised' society isn't getting better (as it should) it's getting worse.

I myself, have experienced sexual assault as young as 8/9 (flashed at)

Again at 10/11 - groped by an old man

Again at 13 - almost dragged into a car but managed to run away

Again at 14 - Boy tried to rape me

Again at 15 - raped by a man

Again at 16 - abused by 2 young men

And during an abusive relationship, raped if I wasn't 'up for it'.

There's more in-between. Did I report any of it? No I did not.

So don't think sexual assault is down because of crime stats. SO many go unreported.

It's not just rape. It's other physical assault too. I have had friends over the years, who's fathers have hit them, verbally abused them. My own father was good at shouting at me until I cried. So was my ex. It makes them feel big I guess, because they'd never shout at a man like that.One friend had her arm broken by her father. One friend was raped by her father, and her brother.

Did any of these get reported? No.

One friend, who nearly died, was beaten and raped by a stranger. Drugged her drink. He did go to prison in the end, but, not before her sexual history was dragged up in court (like that makes ANY difference to the crime committed). Oh, and he's out now.

It's too hard to prove. There's too much victim blaming. I don't know the answer.

It's not even the really violent/sexual assaults (although these are horrendous). It's just normal everyday misogyny that I find very hard. The beeping horns, the 'oi oi' shouts. The feeling uncomfortable when a group of boys/men walk past. Winking at you, 'alright gorgeous'.

Just feel like an object all the time, to be leered over.

And heaven forbid if I should want to wear a pretty summer dress. Because clearly I am dressing up for the menz.

Even something simple like going to a theme park, I went on the dodgems last year, and I was targeted by 4 men on a stag do, leering at me and trying to ram me into the sides. DH went on the same ride after me, the same men had another go...did they do it to DH? Did they fuck.

I told DH about it afterwards. He said he didn't realise that's what women put up with.

All the bloody time.

Feel sorry for DD

I completely agree gluteus and am very sorry to hear of your experiences and that of your friend.

It's just normal everyday misogyny that I find very hard. The beeping horns, the 'oi oi' shouts. The feeling uncomfortable when a group of boys/men walk past. Winking at you, 'alright gorgeous'.

I concur with this as well. Though the assaults are obviously abhorrent, this is a regular reminder of how women and girls are viewed, and that it's so accepted and starts so young shows the worth ascribed to us.

Yes, NoLove, it's awful.

It doesn't help that women are constantly scrutinised.

I was looking at some news (and stumbled on the Daily Fail unfortunately) - and down the side linking to other news was:

Look at x on the beach showing off her post baby body

See x stun with her curves on the red carpet

X has lost weight, and looks incredible as she goes on her way to the gym

It's all about looks. It's all about weight. It's all about post baby body.

It's like women can only be looked at. Men aren't under this scrutiny.

If women are constantly viewed as objects in the media, it's a reason contributing to men treating us like one.

The porn industry also doesn't help. But that's another subject!

OP, you are right and it's horrific.

Men are rarely if ever murdered or harmed for NO OTHER REASON than the fact they are men.

If any other social group was carrying out persistent and repeated acts of violence against another, we would call it terrorism.

YANBU.
HelsinkiLights When women fight back, the statistics show a man was attacked.
When a female domestic abuse victim snaps and harms or kills her abuser, he is included in the male victim statistics of domestic violence.

Also, I agree that it's ridiculous that the kinds of crimes you've linked to aren't regarded as hate crimes.

I am in absolutely no way trying to diminish or belittle was happened to Stephen Lawrence. But that crime took place nearly 25 years ago and is still firmly embedded in the public consciousness. Rightly so - it was a horrific hate crime. But how many women do you suppose were killed by strange men in the UK in 1993 - and every year since? I have no idea and I can't name a single one.

I agree, OP. It's massively depressing. I have a teenage daughter and I worry about her endlessly.

Look at Rotherham, the media wouldn't report it until 10 years later. Those poor girls just didn't matter, over 1500 of them, what message does that send to society. Those men are still trying not to be deported, disgusting. I have a young daughter and it scares me, it is getting worse. Where was the public out cry about Rotherham, every woman should have been marching outside Westminster

While violence against men continues to fall, women are bearing the brunt of an invisible rise in violent crime. Domestic violence and violence against women have increased but I can only put this down to either better reporting or social change. The use of the internet, social media and other forms of technology to humiliate, control and threaten individuals is rising and it is something that we will possibly see increase further. It is undoubtedly easier to commit a lot of these crimes online, people do it without thinking, it is more immediate and it is about the reach and ability to communicate to so many more people.

Forced marriages another mis justice towards girls. Many will happen in the summer holidays, this shouldn't be happening in the U.K.

www.theguardian.com/society/2017/jul/30/nspcc-reports-large-rise-rise-in-forced-marriage-counselling-for-children

I dont have much faith in the police sadly. Not a physical attack but I reported an incident (at which british transport police were present) where a group of probably under age drunk "lads" loudly sung "get your tits out for the lads" to a group of young women who were just getting off a train and walking along the platform. I reported this twice to british transport police, once by phone and another time by email. Received an acknowledgement saying that someone would contact me to discuss my concerns. No one ever did. That was last October. Then I read in the news that the police take sexist abuse seriously. Bollocks do they. Fucking lying bastards! I feel so helpless. I also reported this to my football club (yes it was football related) in the hope they would put something in the next programme to point out that this is unacceptable. Reply was that while they didnt condone it, it wasnt their concern as it wasnt on their premises. Wankers.

I hope it doesn't seem patronising but it's great you reported it nonetheless Mysteriouscurle. If I experienced something like that I'd find it heartening a passer by did so. Such abhorrent, demeaning and intimidating behaviour towards women and girls yet little is done about it (as with street harassment generally).

Do we know of any marches or protests we could all go to to highlight the growing violence and sexual assaults against women and girls.

I'm sitting here watching that Rochdale documentary hearing how hundreds of girls were let down by those who should've protected them.

We need to make a stand and protect not only ourselves but especially our girls!

Giving out free personal alarm key rings in schools etc
Free self defence classes
Stay safe classes etc...

I am in absolutely no way trying to diminish or belittle was happened to Stephen Lawrence. But that crime took place nearly 25 years ago and is still firmly embedded in the public consciousness

What a stupid and disrespectful comparison

Why, muchomo?

Can we not lose sight of what this thread is about please :) x

Unwanted sexual attention from men started at age 10 for me. Sniggering, cat calling and sexual assault every single time I went out as a young woman and two rapes by age 30. It RUINED my life for a long time and I still have a way to go.

I weigh too much now and don't get a second look. It's like I can move around safely for the first time. I worry for my health and don't like the way I look. If I lose the weight will I have to go back there or will having an older face protect me?

Isn't it an outrage that I have to weigh up the pros and cons like that? Die of an obesity related illness because of men or go back to being unsafe in public places because of men?

@Codiwomple

1 in 6 children.

1 in 4 women.

1 in 16 men.

98% of the perpetrators are male. It is absolutely about hatred and male entitlement.

All of women's lives are dominated by the possibility of male violence. How we talk, how we dress, where we can go with whom, all of it is endlessly discussed (usually legislated by men). And we're also dominated by the fact that men get away with it, after all the poor things are only men. Standards for women's behaviour are set far higher.

araiwa, sadly many of the men who commit these actions are not aware that it's wrong. The law and order establishment often agree. They think on some level that women and girls deserve it somehow just for existing. Look at Ched Evans (starter for 10) and how his conviction was overturned, or the general attitudes whenever sexual crime is mentioned - response no 1) it didn't happen, 2) she asked for it.