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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have told DD I was going to have sex

179 replies

Strawberryshortcake40 · 29/07/2017 14:27

Yesterday DC were due at their dads for day so I could work (exdh). I see clients at home and it needs to be a relatively peaceful environment. DD (19) did not want to go first thing despite being asked nicely a few days prior and night before.

It is somewhat essential she goes as she is the noisiest of all of them and is the only one who will start an argument or make a lot of disruption whilst I'm trying to act professionally!!

So I told her I was planning on having a man round for sex. That I was fine with her being there as long as she was okay with there being a naked man potentially wandering round the house, etc.

She packed her things in record time and stormed out of the house telling me I was sick and disgusting.

So Aibu? Shes still not talking to me....

OP posts:
Laine21 · 30/07/2017 01:12

well at least you didn't tell her you had changed career while she had been away at uni and become a Dom, and she would have to put up with clients wandering round the house with a dog collar on, handcuffed to the radiator (like pheobe did to Mike in friends LOL and Rory did to Dino in Mrs Browns boys) ) or a grown man sitting in an oversized pram with a dummy stuck in his mouth cuddling a teddy bear!

she will get over it :-) can just imagine ex's face when she told him!

AtSea1979 · 30/07/2017 01:23

YANBU it worked and got her out.
However the issue is much bigger isn't it OP. You need to address it not bury your head in the sand.

LittleBearPad · 30/07/2017 10:23

Well done OP. Grin

Gottagetmoving · 30/07/2017 14:32

YABU to say that to your DD.If you had raised a child not to be rude, noisy and disrespectful you wouldn't have this problem

Ooh hoik those judgy pants up!!!!!!

Judgy pants? You get someone moaning their 19 year old DD is noisy, belligerent and rude and they 'boast' the only way they can get her to cooperate is to lie that a man is coming round for sex....and you think the response was judgy?!
No wonder people think these problems are nothing to do with them. Bloody hell!

EmeraldIsle100 · 30/07/2017 14:50

Thanks for the tip OP. My DD (20) would have started screaming and ran out the door. You achieved your aim in one short sharp sentence.

Incidentally your DD sounds perfectly normal. Your EX sounds like a complete p*k. I hope things start to ease up for you.

Penfold007 · 30/07/2017 14:51

Strawberry you had an awful time recently with your unwell DD made a hundred times worse by EX's awful behaviour. Your 19 year knows this and needs to respect your need for some peace. Maybe she could stay with her father for a couple of weeks.

Buthewasstillhungry · 30/07/2017 14:54

This is hilarious well done OP!!

restingbf · 30/07/2017 14:57

Haha I think this is brilliant Grin and it worked!!

Floggingmolly · 30/07/2017 15:13

Op's dd is not behaving "perfectly normally" for a nineteen year old, EmeraldIsle.

EmeraldIsle100 · 30/07/2017 15:27

Come over to my house and see my DD or my DS in a bad mood, all very normal.

Floggingmolly · 30/07/2017 15:27

Normal for you, maybe.

EmeraldIsle100 · 30/07/2017 15:30

Normal for me, my friends, brothers and sisters and my 13 teenage/20 year old nieces and nephews.

Floggingmolly · 30/07/2017 15:38

God love you...

EmeraldIsle100 · 30/07/2017 15:51

OP's DD is trying to deal with a crap father, a sick sister and a mum singlehandedly trying to keep her family afloat. Sometimes the world isn't perfect and tempers fray. Normal in most people's worlds.

sandelf · 30/07/2017 17:24

Totally fine. There is no limit to the selfish unreasonableness of the human female at 19. If that's what it took to get a day free of her interference so you could work - as you say for both your sakes - well and good.

MrsGuyOfGisbo · 30/07/2017 17:43

Well done! Gonna shamelessly steal your idea OP!

crazyhorses3 · 30/07/2017 17:48

I feel sorry for your daughter What did you expect? Does she know this man? How did you think she would feel having some random man she has no relationship round for sex and telling her he would be wondering around naked in her home?

JAPAB · 30/07/2017 17:49

Just hope the annoyed DD doesn't decides to **block the OP by noisily coming back later while the clients are there, because she "accidentally" forgot something.

NurseButtercup · 30/07/2017 17:56

I'm in the hahaha well done camp. In fact I recall my mother saying something similar to my younger sister when she was 17/18 to get her out of the house and it worked! I received two phone calls, one from my sister stating she was "traumatised" and the other from my mom cackling (I kid you not) about how she'd managed to get my sister out of bed and out of the house.

I wouldn't worry about her "not talking" she'll soon forget and move onto the next life drama soon enough ;-)

AnnieAnoniMouse · 30/07/2017 18:08

😂. Good call!

However, I would tell her that she needs to go out when you tell her, without a fuss, or she needs to find alternative accommodation, such as her Dad's. She's an adult, if she can't respect you she can support herself.

I understand her father has very much made her the way she is, but she is an adult now, it is her choice how she behaves.

morningconstitutional2017 · 30/07/2017 18:08

Whatever the rights and wrongs, you got the desired result.

Is it possible that your DD will repeat what you said to your ex?

Could you find that you've dug an even bigger hole for yourself? Let's hope not.

Questioningeverything · 30/07/2017 18:13

Crazy horses rtft 🙄🙄

Op I don't blame you. Good luck with getting the disrespectful 19yr old and ex to start behaving better, hope your poorly dc is on the mend

Butterymuffin · 30/07/2017 18:18

Haven't RTFT but have you told her the truth now?

In future I'd say 'if you can't leave me in peace to work, I'll dock [set a suitable amount] from the money I give you for university next term' and do that, since you want to reinforce the link between you earning money and supporting her with it.

Toysintheattic29 · 30/07/2017 18:24

Hmmmm, don't think that was the best strategy......

SirGawain · 30/07/2017 18:30

Lighten up Mumsnetters, I think it was clear from OP's original post that she was not having a man round for sex, but the suggestion was a ploy to get her daughter out of the house.
Incidently the daughter sounds pretty imature for a nineteen year old.

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