To have told DD I was going to have sex

[Strawberryshortcake40]

Yesterday DC were due at their dads for day so I could work (exdh). I see clients at home and it needs to be a relatively peaceful environment. DD (19) did not want to go first thing despite being asked nicely a few days prior and night before.

It is somewhat essential she goes as she is the noisiest of all of them and is the only one who will start an argument or make a lot of disruption whilst I'm trying to act professionally!!

So I told her I was planning on having a man round for sex. That I was fine with her being there as long as she was okay with there being a naked man potentially wandering round the house, etc.

She packed her things in record time and stormed out of the house telling me I was sick and disgusting.

So Aibu? Shes still not talking to me....

OP, you wanted to work from home but your DD wouldn't go to her dad's. To get her out of the house, you jokingly told a little fib that you were not working but having your boyfriend round for some nookie, and she was horrified. Is that right?

I think she's right to find you sick and disgusting, she's a teenager. She's an adult now and will one day do the same to her kids.

What services do you provide for your clients?

Brilliantly played

I assume she's not paying full board and for all her food etc and that comes from your wages that benefit her. If she can't respect that you occasionally need to work from home enough to be quiet or out your hair at 19 then any methods are acceptable to achieve peace.

How old are the other DC? Surely 19 is old enough to stay at home without making excessive noise?!

I do feel sorry for children of separated parents who are obliged to go to one or other when they don't actually want to. It must be a total pain for them. I have a lot of sympathy for your DD.

To lie to her about a man coming round to get her to do something that she, quite reasonably, does not want to do is out of order.

Sorry I see DD is 19.

Well. Ok. Not entirely unreasonable considering what it took to get to that point.

will you tell her the truth op? otherwise you wont be able to use that excuse again

This is weird. She's 19, not 9. You shouldn't be pushing her into having contact at set times with non-resident dad, but equally, she should be capable of staying quiet and out of the way when you're working at home. Being disgusted at the idea of you having sex, while it might make for an amusing thread, is also really immature.

What does your job entail really?

Sadly she does not know the meaning of quiet. I've tried. She will bang doors, start arguments, turn the tv up. Partly because her hearing isn't great but also because she has no concept that I'm trying to work. And because she isn't here most of the time, I have to retrain her every holiday. It's exasperating.

I've probably outed myself enough so let's just say I'm in a therapy role. So calm and quiet is essential. Not someone starting an argument outside my door over who has her ghds (yep that happened)

I don't see any problem with OP - It shifted her so it worked!
Other posters, have a sense of humour!

Well played!!

Although at 19 she should be able to make herself scarce or at least keep quiet so you can work.

She attitude stinks. She deserves a good shock.

She wanted to go to her dads. But not early enough for me to start work on time. So it would have entailed the noise of her getting ready etc and then wanting a lift.

It's a very smal house if that helps to explain why I'm so precious about noise. I'm desperately trying to make ends meet (which she knows) so being able to work is really important.

Some hard of thinking posters on here today! OP was clearly using it as an excuse to get her DD out the house, not what she was ACTUALLY going to do.

I'm glad it worked for you but I'd watch out for the repercussions if she tells her dad - he might have something to say about it! Perhaps, if you get on well enough with him, you should pre-empt that and tell him what you did, so he doesn't go off about it?

YANBU, I find it funny and exactly the type of thing I'd say.

Yeah funny you should say that thumbwitches, he's been foul with me today. Not that I care tbh because it might make him less keen on popping round as and when he sees fit.

I get it wasn't right but really I said it quite tongue in cheek, not as a hushed conversation. I wasn't expecting her to take such offence.

I have an 18 year old DS and wouldn't dream of saying that even jokingly but it all depends on the dynamic between you and your DC, which we of course don't know about.
If they took it as the joke it was intended then no harm there.

It worked - serves her right for being a PITA. At 19, I'm sure she'll get over the trauma of knowing her mother might actually have sex (albeit fictional).

Ah well, maybe an added bonus then!

Hahaha I love it! Totally something I'd do to my teens 😂😂😂

Are people being deliberately dim in asking OP if she's a prostitute?

That's a bonus with the ex thing. Good work

Haha. That's exactly the kind of thing dm wouid have said to us.
i always think it's odd that when you get one outraged response on mn it's automatically followed by more even when the subject is nothing to be outraged about.
If your dd was 9 it would be very different but I just can't see an issue at 19.
Just be aware that she may soon start to do this back to you!

Very weird

I've threatened to come downstairs naked when my DD has had mates round and they're making too much noise ! It's the only way !

I think it was a brilliant tactic. Well done, OP!

Love the people who jumped to the conclusion that the OP was a prostitute because she mentioned having someone round for sex. Nice.