To have told DD I was going to have sex

[Strawberryshortcake40]

Yesterday DC were due at their dads for day so I could work (exdh). I see clients at home and it needs to be a relatively peaceful environment. DD (19) did not want to go first thing despite being asked nicely a few days prior and night before.

It is somewhat essential she goes as she is the noisiest of all of them and is the only one who will start an argument or make a lot of disruption whilst I'm trying to act professionally!!

So I told her I was planning on having a man round for sex. That I was fine with her being there as long as she was okay with there being a naked man potentially wandering round the house, etc.

She packed her things in record time and stormed out of the house telling me I was sick and disgusting.

So Aibu? Shes still not talking to me....

It made me laugh but it sounds like you gave her lots of different reasons for wanting her out of the house ie you were working; you were having friends round, etc. Why couldn't you just stick to the real reason? I think giving her a multitude of reasons is partly why she didn't think she had to leave so you could work.

She said she sees clients at home and she said she was having "a man" round for sex. not her lover or her boyfriend or Dave..but a random man. Sounded like a prostitute to me too. Sorry for the misinterpretation

I understand why you said it OP but you over-egged too much.

At least if she's now not talking to you she's finally being q-u-I-e-t. I wouldn't apologise but I would tell her why you said what you did - and that anymore attitude from her and she'll find her own money for uni. She's an adult and she doesn't rule the household.

YANBU because she's a fully grown adult. Now if you were trying to get a 12 year old out of the house for the day I think it might not be a fair approach.

OP - i did chuckle and understand your objectives. maybe it will be a short sharp shock and DD will be more cooperative in the future....

I don't get why some posters can't understand what you did and why, YANBU.

Brilliant idea OP. At 19, she should be capable of being quiet or going out when she knows her mum has clients round.
I know loads of mums in the hair and beauty business who work from home. Why some posters automatically jumped to bizarre conclusions based on OP's use of the word 'clients' seems far more strange to me.

YANBU and it made me laugh. Slightly concerning that a 19 yr old (assuming no ADD etc?) doesn't have the attention span to respect your work and keep quiet though? My 17 yr old would have no trouble with that concept.

Mind you my DH spent 20+ years working shifts though, so dd had to learn from a v young age to play quietly when DH was on nights.

Lol, some people in such a rush to be first with "YABU and an awful person" that they don't have time to read a fairly short OP...

I think it's perfect! Especially as the naked man can put in an appearance every time you have to work. Tell her the truth once she's safely left home

OMG this thread is making me cringe!

Well played OP.

She is u if she can't appreciate you are trying to work and to keep down the noise.

At 19, she knows about sex...she might even be having it herself

Are you a massage therapist op?

I laughed I could use that tactic on my teens! DH just have to have a kiss and they run

YANBU.

Although at 19 I would expect her to be able to behave and act like an adult...which is what she is.

It made me giggle too - it was pretty obvious that OP was not a sex worker and, in desperation, was just using a teenager's natural aversion to the idea of anyone over the age of 30 having a sex life to get her out of bed.

YANBU

Made me laugh. Teenagers do need to be reminded sometimes that they arent the centre of the universe.

YANBU and I laughed. If at 19 years old she can't respect your work (that most likely pays for her food/clothes/makeup and keeps a roof over her head) and keep quiet then you do what you have to to get her out your way!

It's amusing she's yucked out. She'll get over it. And you got to do some work.

So she's loud because she had hearing issues? What steps can you take to help her out in that regard?

Get soft closing devices on the doors, can she use headphones to watch things?

YABU to tell stupid lies to get what you want

I always think there is a design fault, kids should come with a volume control. If you need to work to eat, live, pay the mortgage etc and she can't be trusted to be quiet at 19 then I think you have to do what you have to do.

Personally I think it was a clever plan.

I laughed. Then read the replies are wondered why people were being so po faced until I realised they'd taken your post literally. You should definitely not have men around for sex unless you do it really really quietly, under the covers will all your clothes still on

You ought to organise your work so you are at home alone OR rent an office for the work you do. I expect it's something like massage or aromatherapy/ reflexology stuff?

Surely this can't be the first time your DD was likely to be around when you had a client booked in?

Didn't you give this some thought when you set up your business?

I really think you ought to move your work out of your home and rent somewhere - you can share with other therapists- and put your fees up to reflect your outgoings.

Or stop giving your DD money until she grows up a bit.

Still bewildered as to why prostitution would be seen as a good career choice in the school holidays. I can't even make a cup of coffee in peace let alone contemplate that kind of job.....😂

Most 19 yr olds are not at 'school'. Uni or college, yes. And maybe she ought to get a job too!