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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have told DD I was going to have sex

179 replies

Strawberryshortcake40 · 29/07/2017 14:27

Yesterday DC were due at their dads for day so I could work (exdh). I see clients at home and it needs to be a relatively peaceful environment. DD (19) did not want to go first thing despite being asked nicely a few days prior and night before.

It is somewhat essential she goes as she is the noisiest of all of them and is the only one who will start an argument or make a lot of disruption whilst I'm trying to act professionally!!

So I told her I was planning on having a man round for sex. That I was fine with her being there as long as she was okay with there being a naked man potentially wandering round the house, etc.

She packed her things in record time and stormed out of the house telling me I was sick and disgusting.

So Aibu? Shes still not talking to me....

OP posts:

MistressDeeCee · 29/07/2017 16:05

I've not had the Sense Of Humour Bypass Operation as yet, so

The 'S' word from mum must have sent her flying to the hills. Peace and quiet for a few hours at least

She didnt want to go to her dad's tho. Shame she couldn't have just gone to a mate's for a few hours. Then again she's not a prisoner welded to the house at her dad's is she? Im sure she can find things to do. You'll all live to see another day ...

MistressDeeCee · 29/07/2017 16:05

I've not had the Sense Of Humour Bypass Operation as yet, so

The 'S' word from mum must have sent her flying to the hills. Peace and quiet for a few hours at least

Original poster

Strawberryshortcake40 · 29/07/2017 16:06

I work from home because it's convenient, not sure why I should rent somewhere (thereby paying for childcare costs for other dc?) because I have one home from uni who cannot lower her volume when she's here.

OP posts:

amermaideindesguise · 29/07/2017 16:07

batteriesgone · 29/07/2017 16:08

It's quite rude of your dd not to leave when you suggested she should if it had been previously arranged. She lives in your house and as long as you take her needs into consideration in a fair way, it's absolutely ok to arrange for her to be out of the house when you need to work and need peace and quiet.

I am pretty stuck up, slightly prim and don't suffer fools gladly but I thought your OP was quite funny . It sounds like she takes you and your hospitality for granted and lacks respect for you.

Gottagetmoving · 29/07/2017 16:10

YABU to say that to your DD.
If you had raised a child not to be rude, noisy and disrespectful you wouldn't have this problem.

PollyPerky · 29/07/2017 16:10

well you've answered your own question really! The reason you'd be better off with an office is because you wouldn't have a stroppy teen around the place! Surely you can put something in place to help her manage her behaviour better? She's 19, not 9 months.
There must be things you could do or not do- limit lifts, reduce the money you give her, all sorts. She sounds very immature.

I'm afraid this is the issue when working from home when you have children at home and have clients coming to your home too.

Either you get your kids to behave or you find alternative premises.

VestalVirgin · 29/07/2017 16:11

She's an adult and she doesn't rule the household.

This.

I think it is quite sad you have to resort to lying to get an adult child out of the house!
(Also, she should be able to be quiet. If she goes to uni, surely she can't be loud while her professors talk, there?)

Emmageddon · 29/07/2017 16:20

The poster that suggested coming downstairs naked made me laugh. I'm a night shift worker and when my DC were teenagers, they used to cringe when I appeared in the ktichen, in my perfectly decent PJ's, to make a cup of tea, whilst they were entertaining their friends. Cries of "muuuuuuuuuuuuum!!! get dressed!" would ring out and I'm sure the neighbours thought I actually was naked.

However I do think at 19 she is old enough to be quiet when you are working.

Loved the immediate assumption the OP is a prossie though

user1498726699 · 29/07/2017 16:21

I have a similar DD and I totally get it OP.

I didn't raise her to be rude, noisy and disrespectful either but she is. Go figure.

Original poster

Strawberryshortcake40 · 29/07/2017 16:24

I didn't raise her to be that way. Her father did and in fact he is just as disrespectful when I'm working so she takes her cue from that.

Thankfully the other DC are better behaved (at the moment....!!)

OP posts:

Tigerlovingall · 29/07/2017 16:25

Brilliant, op!

geekone · 29/07/2017 16:25

Lol love it and it worked so bonus 😂

HerOtherHalf · 29/07/2017 16:26

Some people on this thread must wonder what the strange whooshing noise was. It was the OP's point going right over your head.

PurpleMinionMummy · 29/07/2017 16:34

I think it's hilarious. stores idea for when kids are older to get rid for an evening

thatstoast · 29/07/2017 16:38

It sounds it all worked out and there was a happy ending.

GoldenOrb · 29/07/2017 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floggingmolly · 29/07/2017 16:49

I'd be more concerned with a 19 year old who had to be sent to her a Dad's so that you could work
Would she seriously run around making noise when you're dealing with a client?!

Gemini69 · 29/07/2017 16:50

OP.... your hilarious and sound like a very great Mum... ignore the Militants ...

massi71 · 29/07/2017 16:54

Good for you OP x

ButchyRestingFace · 29/07/2017 17:03

because she has no concept that I'm trying to work

What do you mean by "has no concept"?

You've told her that you need to work in peace and quiet at home and she doesn't understand?

What doesn't she understand?

It's a bit sad that a 19 year old won't simply comply with a perfectly reasonable request to keep it down to a dull roar when her mother has clients in the home.

But if pretending you're having a shag fest is the only way you can keep a roof over your head, fire away.

Might even want to up the ante and leave a few whips/chains lying around. joke

CoconutGal · 29/07/2017 17:05

Hahaha! That's hilarious & most likely the sort of thing my mum would resort to in a bid to get me out of the house at that age for some peace & quiet. Also for the record, let's remember, she's not a child. She's 19 years old.

C0untDucku1a · 29/07/2017 17:08

Any sign of disrespect op and send her back to uni. Surely she will not be in halls next year so probably has a house contract now anyway? Or firmly tell her if ahe cannot act lile an adult in future that is what will happen so she should ensure she has a plan in place.

Ffs people she is 19! Not 9!and op clearly didnt
Imply she was a prostitute!

Original poster

Strawberryshortcake40 · 29/07/2017 17:30

To a certain extent I don't blame DD, it's continually drilled into her that I don't need to work but I'm choosing to by ex. Who seems to think his "massive" maintenance payment pays for caviar and lobster for me.... He also likes to turn up when I am working or bring the dc back late or pick up early, preferably with a lot of ringing the doorbell and loud voices on the doorstep, because apparently "it's not proper work".

I just hoped at some point she would grow up and realise that he's acting like an arsehole and that I'm actually working to keep her and her siblings, not for fun.

OP posts:

Floggingmolly · 29/07/2017 17:33

Of course you should "blame" your dd for acting like a pillock; she's nineteen, not nine . Your attitude is probably why she still acts this way.

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