DD has changed her name, AIBU to feel rejected

[fabyoulouse]

DD has never liked her name so it shouldn't come as a surprise really. She used to get really upset whenever someone pronounced it incorrectly, which happens a lot, and people don't always pay any attention when she corrects them.

She also claims it makes her "stand out" and she just wants to "blend in". So she is off to sixth form college in September and thinks now is a good time. She has her father's support so they have filled in a form online and she's paid for it herself.

I can't help but feel rejected. Perhaps because I chose her name and so she's always aimed any anger about it towards me.

One of the only reasons I've kept my birth name is because it's got an abbreviation that suits me right down to the ground. I feel like someone else when I put my 'big name' on, like putting on a costume. Using the abbreviation is like putting on my favourite jumper.
(Birth name also has a billion different spellings, each with its own pronunciation variations, and mine is a lesser known one)

The other is because I know my mum loves my big name. She heard it when she was a kid and kept it for me. I know she'd be sad if I changed it, so I just keep it for her, really.

When I was twelve I started introducing myself as very firmly.
I see where your daughter is coming from, and I also see why you're upset. Be kind to yourself, but also your DD. If her new name is the kind you can find on mugs and suchlike, maybe get her a few things with it on, and get some hugs from your OH.

I understand why you feel upset..but your daughter may well change back to her old name in years to come.
I didn't think one could change a Christian/first name, only a surname, but might be wrong.
When we chose son's name, we road tested it for''tease-ability'' ..he has a very ordinary 'classic' name..and likes it.
Sometimes parents can lumber babies with odd names..best to play safe :)
I remember a girl writing to a magazine because she hated her name..which was Araminta

Bluntness "Op, your angry denial speaks volumes." What has the OP denied? Except to tell you the name!

I am the only one who is confused..
Child is named Bronwen unusualwelshname, she is known as unusualwelshname
Decides she doesn't like either name
Renames herself
Classicname unusualwelshname

Bronwen was her first name, but never used, now it's gone altogether.

The sort of thing that happens is
CuntyPerson:"Oi Leo!"
Llio:"It's Llio"
CuntyPerson:"CHTHLspitphlegmclearLEO! [eyerolling]"

Haaaha literally laughing aloud at this..thanks mike..Needed that after CG threads. :)

I always hated my name as a child. Both my first names and surnames were one syllable and very short, and I was always one of many in my class with the same name. I tried to go by my middle name which was still a common name but not quite so common but it never caught on. My parents always called me a nickname totally unrelated to my actual name and i didn't tell them i hated it. I was named after an aunt of my grandmother, but I never appreciated that, I just thought my parents lacked imagination as it was a top 10 name (probably top 3) when I was born.

I don't mind my name now but if I had known I could change it as a teen and not just be told to stop being an attention seeker by teachers at my school, I would have. (I would have probably changed it to something pretentious though at 14, so maybe best I didn't).

What's wrong with Mike? I just think that Seren seems like a name that will date badly and is probably pronounced in a non-Welsh way as Serrun. If she chose it then fine. I chose Mike.

I think you ABU.

I absolutely hate my name. Everyone spells it incorrectly and shortens it to a sort of whining sound and I was actually told to maybe consider just spelling it how everyone else does to make my life easier.

I actually cringe when I hear it but when I told my DM I wanted to change it she was horrified that I'd even consider changing the name she spent months choosing specifically for me. She actually faked a mini heart attack type illness and collapsed on the floor in front of me to highlight how offended she was (Don't worry she was perfectly well and was back drinking wine as soon as I told her I would leave it as it was then)

Its horrible living your life being something/someone you just don't like or feel is really 'you'.

You named her for the duration she was in your care and she has now grown up and is making choices that will effect her for the rest of her life.

Of course she wants a name she loves and cherishes. If she married you wouldn't be so upset about the change of her surname I expect as its considered normal to take your partners name in some form.

Let her choose a name she is happy with, it isn't a slight on you. It shows she has grown to be a confident independent woman surely that's what you want not keeping a name she dislikes just because you chose it.

Goodness my DM also chose some dreadful wallpaper in her time that I would never have within 10 miles of my home but just because she likes it and I don't doesn't mean I'm being offensive towards her by insisting its not to my liking.

oakleaffy yes you can change your first/Christian name.

In the UK its by Deed Poll via a solicitor or you can do it yourself online through some of the many companies that offer it. Its fairly straightforward but the cost is different depending on who you use to do it.

85000 brits changed their name last year - you are not alone

I just think that Seren seems like a name that will date badly and is probably pronounced in a non-Welsh way as Serrun. If she chose it then fine. I chose Mike

There you go...Each to their own. You chose Mike. My dd chose Seren....Why do you think Seren will date badly? Badly as opposed to what? Do you have a crystal ball??

For anyone interested, Seren in Welsh is pronounced SERR-en (en as in hen). I still think it's awful.

You don't actually need to change your name via Deed Poll. Some places like to insist on it, but you can actually call yourself whatever you like as long as your intention is not to defraud so you should just be able to write a letter stating your intention to be known as X name from Y date. Some people have their letter done by a solicitor to make it a bit more official, or by Deed Poll to have it done more officially.

I changed my name from a very boring typical 60s name to something fairly out there when I was 14. It's stuck ever since.

My mum uses my 'new' name, but my dad never did the bastard.

I didn't then and don't now care if they were hurt. It's my name.

We are Welsh and live in Wales. I have one child with a Welsh name, and one with an English name that isn't very common (it is a family name for us).Both are short, and easy to pronounce. The Welsh one is not unusual where we live, and there are no issues, but no-one in England pronounces it properly. The English one is mispronounced everywhere. Very annoying, but the dcs seem unbothered.
OP I think in your place I would be really hurt. I wonder why your dd holds such a grudge against you in particular over this? She is very young, it may well be more of a teenage rebellion than anything else. I agree with pps who have said in a few years she may like it again. ( I find it hard to understand anyone not liking their own name though) .

My niece is called Starr. I find the extra "r" particularly ridiculous (I too don't think it's a proper name) because it reminds me of Freddie Starr.

I don't understand really why you're upset. I've given my kid an usual name, if he hates it when he's older I'll more than support him to change it. I don't want my choice to make him unhappy, it's just a name and his happiness far outweighs my preferences

For anyone interested, Seren in Welsh is pronounced SERR-en (en as in hen). I still think it's awful

Seren is pronounced as its spelt. No "H" involved. It is a Welsh name so why say "Seren in Welsh is...." What exactly is your point?

Thanks ReinettePompadour ..I think changing one's name is a very younger person thing to do..it is ''I want to break away, be my own person'' type thing.
My first boyfriend, called Barry announced he was to be called Darnaé I couldn't stop laughing.
Teenagers like to try on new identities..very normal :)

en as in English word Hen. Not SERR-Hen.
Non-welsh people would say the 'en' bit as they say it in names like Darren and Karen.

BTW, its in that context has an apostrophe in it FluffyPineapple.

Just googled Darnae [it hasn't an acute over the e] and it is a girl's name meaning ''Little nook"..there was no internet then though..so Barry was oblivious to the feminine gender of his chosen name.
:)

My DD wants to change her middle name from the one we chose - we thought it was a cool name, she hates it! Would like to change to a far more common name.

Would love to know what Bertrand Russell's step nephews/niece were called.

So she doesn't like either name, but has still kept one?

That's something surely?

Surely you & her dad chose both names together so he is equally "at fault"-but being more supportive.

I used to hate my name I always thought how daft it was that such an important thing was chosen by others.

Being called star is silly? Better tell all the girls called Stella, Estrella, Zviazda etc.

And BTW for me Lleucu does rhyme with flakey... am in NW Wales where it's a relatively fashionable name amongst Welsh speakers
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