Aibu to think I've just fallen into a 1970s Jilly Cooper novel?

[Fieryfighter]

(light-hearted) fur Jilly Cooper fans really...

I'm at home desperately trying to finish some bookkeeping, not showered, greasy hair, flung on old t shirt and shorts, no make up, with no knickers and underwire poking out of my bra. I've just been trying to put some paperwork in the attic and the bastard ladder breaks and I'm trying to somehow get it to go back up in the attic. Cursing, swearing etc. There's a knock on the door.

It's this chap from Texas I've been dating for a couple of months very half heartedly as tbh I'm finding it hard to be emotionally available due to slightly being hung up on on the ex still.

There's me all flustered as I'm looking a total mess and he proceeds to fix the ladder with me simpering 'thank you so much!' and then ravish me telling me how gorgeous i am with me going 'but i look such a state!'

I feel like Janey typing 'men should not drop in' 😂😂

I am now recovering from a girls night out. I need a bottle of fernet branca!

Just proves how incredibly erotic a man finds a woman who is need of their help...

Maybe you should find another job for him next week...

This thread has inspired me to reread Rivals!

Billy Lloyd-Fox was my favourite. Rupert was too nasty for me. I actually think I was a little in love with him. Am inspired to read the name books. I am from Gloucestershire and life was disappointingly unracy in reality. Although I also imagined the young farmers to be the real life riders.

I am happily married but even I am jealous of your 6'4" Texan. Please tell us that you live in Rutshire.

Ferdie was played by Hugh Bonneville.

Well that's taken the spice out of that particular fantasy!

Well that's taken the spice out of that particular fantasy!

Doubly so if the well-sourced rumours about his bedroom peccadilloes are to be believed. Put it this way, you'd need a very thorough and understanding cleaner on standby and a tub of Swafega for Hugh.

I actually want to now Amazon prime all
The name books again

I love how you all remember this shit !!!

I found a copy of Class in the supermarket çharity book sale this evening, so bought it and am reveling in the snobbery.

I'm crying at these comments. I used to devour JC books as a teenager. I actually thought this is what life would be like as I got older.

What you should have done is pour him an enormous drink then have fled to the bathroom to quickly walk between your legs and drench yourself in scent!

One wonders at the state of JC's undercarriage such that she thinks women need to be having at it with a damp flannel at every opportunity.

One never wants to smell of mouldy old woman. This is the best thread. Ever.

Don't most of the particularly WTF bits come from Jilly's rather sad and possibly abusive marriage? He used to weigh her and pass comment on the result (JC books are ED bibles) so I'd speculate the obsession with smell/cleanliness comes from him too

Oh god MrsHathaway if that's even partially true it's very sad and as you say abusive

I grew up using metric units, so when I read JC confess it didn't register whether 11stone was a lot or not.

It was only when I saw comments on mumsnet about how 11 stone is really not obese that I looked up how much it was in kg and agreed!!!

Poor woman if that's true

I'm really pissed off now. Why don't I get a Texan turning up unexpectedly at my door? I'm so deprived, sniff.

What we really need to know is does he keep his stetson and cowboy boots on when you're DTD?

Not read Mount ...... Off to Amazon/eBay .....

You lot made me remember my teenage love of Jilly Cooper nonsense, and now they have Riders on Audible so I have just bought it and have got 30 hours of pure romantic flim flam to gorge on. I only bought it today and I am on Chapter 7 it's fabulous and I am going to do nothing but listen to it all weekend.

Goldenhedgehogs snap! I've been whiling away my boring commute all week listening to Riders. It's my guilty pleasure.

Wasn't poor fat Tory only 10 stone?

Even horrific Gussie in Octavia with her enormous pallid thighs, jiggling bosoms, errant bra straps and tendency to sunburn was only 11 stone. It was ok though, Octavia could be her 'friend' because she was cheerful & fun to compensate for her hideous obesity. She even bagged herself a divine man, who was so divine he shagged Octavia on a canal boat because she had skin like a warm apricot. What a catch! (Sorry, spoilers)

That story pissed me right off even as a skinny teenager.

There's something like "however she stood on the scales, they read eleven stone". And she's reasonably tall iirc. Guessing 5'9" gives her a BMI of 23 - she could have a BMI under 25 so long as she is over about 5'6".

I don't know if it's meant to be like Bridget Jones and there's some deliberate weird body dysmorphia thing going on, but probably not. When Jake gets her naked he remarks that she's soft (cf skeletal Helen later) but not gargantuan. Maybe Molly dresses her poorly because she dislikes and envies her.

The octavia story was grim
That said I still pine to go one a canal boat weekend !!!!
I liked Emily about the nanny

But loved loved LOVED Dino Ferrante

As a 13 year old reading riders Ruper left me cold such a bitch

But Dino fired my adolescent loins

Always amazes me in the JC novels how the women always lost loads of weight when they were miserable!! no comfort eating for them!! I grew up thinking that I had obviously never been unhappy as I never lost weight.

Oh and the PP who said Tory was 5ft 9 - she was only about5ft 5 as smaller than Jake who was 5ft 7 (clearly i have read these books way too many times )