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AIBU?

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Original poster

Aibu to think I've just fallen into a 1970s Jilly Cooper novel?

187 replies

Fieryfighter · 27/07/2017 17:10

(light-hearted) fur Jilly Cooper fans really...

I'm at home desperately trying to finish some bookkeeping, not showered, greasy hair, flung on old t shirt and shorts, no make up, with no knickers and underwire poking out of my bra. I've just been trying to put some paperwork in the attic and the bastard ladder breaks and I'm trying to somehow get it to go back up in the attic. Cursing, swearing etc. There's a knock on the door.

It's this chap from Texas I've been dating for a couple of months very half heartedly as tbh I'm finding it hard to be emotionally available due to slightly being hung up on on the ex still.

There's me all flustered as I'm looking a total mess and he proceeds to fix the ladder with me simpering 'thank you so much!' and then ravish me telling me how gorgeous i am with me going 'but i look such a state!'

I feel like Janey typing 'men should not drop in' 😂😂

OP posts:
daisygirlmac · 27/07/2017 20:37

Oh my god TMWMHJ!! Ferdy and Lysander and Poor Kitty - I'm going to need to dig that out and reread it

gwenneh · 27/07/2017 20:43

I just did my annual re-read while waiting for our house sale to complete.

I fear it set some unrealistic expectations for the property. No Cotswold stone, no Aga...

Snooks1971 · 27/07/2017 20:45

I'm 46 and have loved Jilly Cooper's brilliance for 30 years so I can (almost) forgive buttercunt (boak though)
Best thread ever!!

tackytriceratops · 27/07/2017 20:48

I love this!

Never read any JC but reminds me of a scenario I had once. (Could be more JC, I'll not for length purposes)

I'd met an internet date who was lovely and training to be a park ranger. He'd driven me around all day in his landrover, then for some reason we got the train back up to where I lived. His snogs were too slippery for me; I felt like I was drowning. Then a hot French guy texted to say he was back from LA (I'd thought it was a brush off, we'd been dating before he went, but he actually meant it when he said he'd look me up) and he was coming round that evening. I swiftly ushered ranger out and off to the station, apologising and saying he was lovely and we'd be friends. I spent an hour tidying and beautifying and was awaiting hot French guy when the phone rang.

As I answered I saw his keys on the floor - he was on his way back in the train to get them. French and Ranger might turn up at the same time! Luckily, somehow, he arrived and was speedily ushered out again (bit awful as he was suggesting he'd possibly miss the last train and would need to stay on the sofa - nothing creepy, a very honest lovely guy) but out he went. Ten mins later got french guy turned up and the rest is very JC including my only ever multiple orgasm...

(Sorry to gate crash op, had to get that story off my heaving bosom...)

I could never pronounce his name properly which is I think why it didn't last.

venusinscorpio · 27/07/2017 20:50

I've got TMWMHJ lined up for a holiday soon. I'm looking forward to reading it again almost as much as going away :)

FlyingSoloFlyingFree · 27/07/2017 20:55

I'm away next week, re-reading some JC (again!) would be the ideal holiday reading :).

peachgreen · 27/07/2017 21:00

HA. DH did this. We hadn't been dating long (weeks!) and one morning, after a VERY late and boozy date, he turned up at my door (pretending to be a delivery guy over the intercom, I might add) with coffee, a muffin and flowers. I was still in my pyjamas with unwashed hair, unshaved legs and a stinking hangover. It must have been the first flush of love because he didn't see any of that - and pretty much never left from then on!

peachgreen · 27/07/2017 21:00

By which I mean be careful, because your Texan may never leave! 😂

Therealslimshady1 · 27/07/2017 21:01

I never read Jilly Cooper, should I start now? This thread makes it very enticing...

I married a polo player, and I did not find the polo world sexy... and all those horses to look after were a bloody pain. Maybe too much reality means I am immune to the fantasy? Hmm...dammit

tccat · 27/07/2017 21:11

Ooh I loved these books! I'm going to re read some, Rivals was my favourite

SabineUndine · 27/07/2017 21:16

I liked Octavia best. Who wouldn't want to have long blonde hair and long blonde legs and be shagged senseless by a Welsh builder in the last chapter?

KatyBerry · 27/07/2017 21:18

Didn't poor Octavia get a slap in the face once or twice? And there's definitely a few daterapes in the name books

Onetedisbackinbed · 27/07/2017 21:23

Yes butter cunt was a slightly low point ... I remember RCB with stable hand Podge who had the 'snail trails' running down her legs whilst Rupe took full frontal pics of her in a paddock.... woah! That scene has stayed with me.

tiredvommachine · 27/07/2017 21:32

Hang on, hang on.....Taggie??? Shock

BasedOnTrueEvents · 27/07/2017 21:34

Octavia got put over Garath's (?) knee and spanked for being an all round bit of a cow. After that she realised she loves him. Confused

BabychamSocialist · 27/07/2017 21:35

Appassionata is a good one, if only because there's a character called Viking O'Neill, which really makes me laugh for some reason. Riders is still my all-time fave though.

FlyingSoloFlyingFree · 27/07/2017 21:35

Buttercunt was utterly cringey, imo the recent books aren't nearly as good even though it's lovely to read about familiar characters - the Rupert of Riders and Rivals would never have used such an awful word.

Love the name books, think Octavia is my favourite with the brilliant descriptions of glamorous 70s London and then the gorgeous country setting - nobody writes English countryside like JC. my copies are so old they have JC herself on the cover in a variety of sultry getups Grin.

BabychamSocialist · 27/07/2017 21:42

I'm skim reading Jump at the moment and came across this passage: "Instead, he laid her on the bead, gliding into her with the joy of a speedboat plunging into a warm ocean." 😂😂

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 27/07/2017 21:52

At least he didn't shout Port Stanley at the moment of orgasm and stick a blue and white flag on her bum.

Storminateapot · 27/07/2017 22:00

Octavia was a total bitch. Stealing Gussie's fiancé and thinking she deserved it for having the temerity to be a size 14 and burn easily in the sun,

JC has got a real nasty thing about any woman bigger than a size 10.

My name books have photos of JC herself done up in soft focus on the front. Must be 35 years old. Must dig them out again!

bookworm14 · 27/07/2017 22:02

Who was it who was 'joyous as an otter' when having sex? Was it Lysander? Always struck me as an odd metaphor...

Waitingforsherlock · 27/07/2017 22:03

I love the name books too must have read Imogen at least ten times. One of my fave bits is when the moustachioed Nicky comes over for Sunday lunch and Imogen realises that instead of loo paper it's just bits of ripped up parish mag in the downstairs loo. the Brocklehurst's house as to be or of my favourite fictional homes. Also love the beach scenes, poor Imo with that red bathing suit and the old kaftans then the wonderful Matt takes her out and treats her to some gorgeous new stuff. also love the precious model, Yvonne, who wears a cardboard beak on the beach to prevent sunburn... Only in a Jilly Cooper.

I'm off to thunder down the corridor and find my copy. Oh bliss

bookworm14 · 27/07/2017 22:10

I picture Nicky as looking like a young Tom Selleck.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 27/07/2017 22:21

Olivia was a bitch indeed

thenightsky · 27/07/2017 22:25

i've just donated my Jillys to the Oxfam bookshop today. Bugger.