Aibu to think I've just fallen into a 1970s Jilly Cooper novel?

[Fieryfighter]

(light-hearted) fur Jilly Cooper fans really...

I'm at home desperately trying to finish some bookkeeping, not showered, greasy hair, flung on old t shirt and shorts, no make up, with no knickers and underwire poking out of my bra. I've just been trying to put some paperwork in the attic and the bastard ladder breaks and I'm trying to somehow get it to go back up in the attic. Cursing, swearing etc. There's a knock on the door.

It's this chap from Texas I've been dating for a couple of months very half heartedly as tbh I'm finding it hard to be emotionally available due to slightly being hung up on on the ex still.

There's me all flustered as I'm looking a total mess and he proceeds to fix the ladder with me simpering 'thank you so much!' and then ravish me telling me how gorgeous i am with me going 'but i look such a state!'

I feel like Janey typing 'men should not drop in' 😂😂

Completely off topic sorry, but @BroomstickOfLove - are you a Sara's girl fanfic fan?? (Couldn't let that nn pass by without comment...)

HAHAHAHAHA at promises to keep and miles to go before he sleeps!

If this is true I am very jealous, OP

Go for a walk with him and allow him to attend to your nettle stings.

While avoiding cads called Rupert.

PLEASE tell me that next time you see him you will be wearing Lady Jacinta's old bathing suit with only a little moth in the seat??

Before he takes you out shopping with his casino winnings, that is.

Did he peel your gull's eggs for you? Dip them in celery salt?

He got a cheese sandwich and monster munch

Had a Monster Munch did he?

And then a bag of novelty shaped onion flavoured maize snacks?

My favourite quote from JC has to be:

"Nigel", she went on earnestly, "has not eaten anything that moves for ten years ."
"Not even jelly?" asked Rupert.
Helen tried to look disapproving and giggled. "You're impossible.

Was your back suitably arched at the moment?

Broomstick - get yourself down to a charity shop of your choice. You will get a thick doorstopper in hardback for £ 2 , and quite likely a choice of title. Some have multibuy deals. I love the ones I have ( all from charity shops/second hand book stalls).

oh my GOD which one was Lady Jacintha's bathing suit from ?! (mother ws doing the jumble... boyfriend was a racing driver perhaps? very glamorous and called Nicky?)

OP next time you see him you need to be kitted out in a silver jumpsuit cut down to your bottom at the back, and with your hair sprayed into a silver wing with LASHINGS of kohl

Boys

Didn't she call it a "flying suit" rather than a jumpsuit?

Nigel wouldn't have eaten jelly anyway as it's not vegetarian. Shame as it's a very funny joke.

OP I hope you made some jolly quips about everything from Texas being bigger.

Now you have gone you can clean your nails by washing your hair.

I'm fond of, "She gasped as his warm hands slid under the elasticated waist of her jeans, gold signet ring catching the light, as he fingered her belly button before creeping into the slippery cavern between her legs."

Sorry, but an elasticated waist is the furthest thing from erotic!

KatyBerry Imogen.

Nicky was a tennis player who invited her to the South of France with his friend Matt and his model girlfriend who was called something silly like Sable (real name Mavis Figge).

I just read all the "name" books again recently. Pandora's my favourite.

I loved those name books. I always keep my eye out in charity shops but never see them.

There was a lot of 'light' comments now that would never make it past editing stage.

When Fen cuts her hair and billy thinks it will be like making love to a boy.

And Rupert eyeing up all the 14 year olds in their tight johpdurs.

i wouldn;'t get a look in, in a jilly novel-unless i was the poor forgotten about wife heaving my 11 stone bulk around the house looking after the children

I adore lovely Jilly but have just read 'Mount' and don't think I'll ever get over the horror of RCB referring (rather too repeatedly) to the lady he is shagging as 'buttercunt'.

This is, officially, my favourite thread of all time...

Polly99

"Oh buttercunt, buttercunt." As her warm wet slipperiness gripped him hard he battled not to... They were both so out of it that they didn't notice a log falling out of the fire, or that someone was pounding at the door."

It's the attention to detail of a log falling out of the fire that I love!

AARGHH!! No! Not buttercunt!

I have a great sense for willing suspension of disbelief but RCB uttering that word KILLED it.

DustinGee it was Cable, not Sable . Imogen was my fave of that series.