Restaurant owner asking us to keep children quiet?

[tearsinmyeyes]

Who is being U here?

Met up with my sisters for brunch . We have ten children between five of us. We all live in different countries and today was the last day of seeing each other so we fancied
Going out for a bite to eat . We picked a local casual cafe that is large enough to accommodate 10 of us with plenty more space (including a one year old with highchair . The others were between 3-12).
We were sat on table discussing what to order . Obviously we were a party of fifteen so we weren't exactly quiet but we were talking at normal volume . The children were all seated . I noticed when we walked in there was an elderly lady and her friend and one of them rolled her eyes at us and then kept turning and glaring . When my youngest sister arrived with thenlast child she said loudly 'there's more of them now'. I approached her and said 'is there a problem ?' And she said 'there's too many of you and I can't hear my friend talk, why have you got so many children ?' I said , am sorry if you're stressed out but the children are talking at normal volume and this is a family friendly cafe.' The owner then approached us and said 'I've got lunch hour coming and last week I lost customers because a family had kids running around and misbehaving '. I asked him to look around the table and said 'all the children are sat down. We've told them to speak in soft voices and nobody Is running around misbehaving . We are also paying customers and you can't expect the children to eat in silence '. He said 'well they're all quiet now please keep it that way '. I said 'they're quiet because they're watching this conversation . I can't guarantee they'll remain silent throughout the meal'. He kept going on about it so Then we decided between us we were not comfortable to stay and left .
To be honest I felt it unreasonable to tell customers to be quiet when they weren't screaming / shouting. Of course a table of 15 is going to produce some noise but everyone was talking at a normal volume.
AIBU to think this restaurant owner was rude and to not want to eat there again ?

Does it really matter either way? I don't thing OP was suggesting veggie kids are better behaved than feral carnivores. It was just a statement on what they had

You missed out pa comments from the ladies on the adjacent table,

there's more of them now!!

Loud enough for the OP to hear. That's not passive aggressive. That's downright rude.

To clear up why I mentioned veggie breakfasts :

• none of the kids are vegetarian. They just like the taste of veggie sausages . Two picked veggie so they all followed suite . We wanted to keep things Simple when we looked at the menu beforehand . This is honestly not a veggie vs non veggie Debate . We were also going to order meat for the adults .

• the reason I actually mentioned they were having a full veggie was not a stealth boast . It was in response to those who keep saying we wouldn't have made the owner as much money as a table of purely adults because of the kids eating kiddy meals so I explained we didn't order any kiddy meals

• I could have just said they were having a full breakfast yes. It's just that when you've had half a dozen children talking about veggie breakfasts prior to leaving the word veggie was sort of imprinted in my mind and it was a spur of the moment thing that I mentioned it .

Phew . Nothing like the court of mumsnet

Nothing like the court of mumsnet I find you 'not guilty'

none of the kids are vegetarian

Good.

(Cancels call to SS)

swingofthings The OP has already said her children wee behaving and talking quietly.
My experience is that parents of noisy and boisterous children all say that. Unfortunately, they have got used to it so it's become their normality. It doesn't make it normal though.

If you get to the point that you can't hear the person in front of you talking, you know that it is too loud.

I feel sorry for the kids of posters who think children belong at Mcdonalds or Brewsters/Harvesters. Not going to get much of an education in fine dining are they.

People aren't saying that kids belong in macdonalds - in-fact good luck finding a table for 15 in the one near me. They aren't exactly going to get an education in fine dining at the local café either are they? Generally bigger restaurants where you pre book and state the size of the group are more set up to cater for family get-togethers, some even have separate rooms for big family groups. Especially where it's a special occasion that only happens every two years or so as is the case for the OP.

Wow this one was a hung jury if we are talking court of mumsnet

Not going to get much of an education in fine dining are they

Are they going to get one in the local caff for breakfast either? What is the difference? You can teach your kids good manners wherever you are....

RadioGaGoo And? Children can experience "fine dining" when they're old enough to fully control their behaviour. They don't need training from birth.

Yabu. Groups of the 15 children are not going to be appreciated by most other customers.

Why do people hate kids? Even those who are mums? Why? If I saw a large group with children I'd think oh that's nice and sit down. If you can't stand kids in case they make a noise then you are the one with a problem.

Why do people hate kids? Even those who are mums?

Yes, that must be it. We hate kids. Loathe the little fuckers, every last one of them, even our own.

Or you're being a bit of a dope and it's actually just hordes of them in small places when we are looking for a bit of peace and quiet.

Which is more likely, do we think?

What people hate is painfully loud/high squealing, shouting, shrieking and crying. Unfortunately kids tend to be a source of all these things.
Children who dont do these things beyond the occasional over-excited and quickly corrected slip? Love 'em.

Hang on, did someone just use the term "fine dining" in relation to a veggie breakfast?

And yes, Storm, you are spot on. What is a "happy gurgle" to one person will be an ear splitting squeal to another.

Coddi, I didn't say it had to be a chain. But that's what others were suggesting... My point was kinda the opposite...

Taking kids to the place I mentioned - up to the parents, but the music is, imo, too loud for very young eardrums.

I don't think it's a case of hating kids.It's more to do with resenting the parents because they won't control their kids. One of my favourite phrases these days seems to be 'I blame the parents'. Even at this moment sitting in a coffee shop,I am witnessing 'entitled' parenting. The woman at the next table is letting her child aged about 2 run around, getting under peoples' feet who are carrying hot drinks,bothering customers by climbing on their chairs and getting under their tables,while she just looks on indulgently,totally oblivious that others find this behaviour irritating.

I can't believe how intolerant people are of children in the UK
Oh I can. You only have to watch the bad behaviour of many children, whose parents think it's totally fine for them to "express themselves", to see why there's a backlash. They seem to think that just because we no longer live in a "children should be seen and not heard" environment, it doesn't mean everywhere's a playground or that they don't have to shut up and sit still sometimes.

The owner came after 20 min to take orders which was when he also asked if we the children could sit quietly . He didn't come specifically to quieten us down .

YANBU. It's amazing how many adults were clearly never children themselves.
It's not even like they were running a mock thought, anyway.
How fuckin cheeky as well to ask. Why you have so many children.

I'd walk out of that place, obviously not bothered about losing 15 customers in one go.

Awwlookatmybabyspider
I don't think the problem is that people haven't had/haven't been or don't remember being kids, it's that we are becoming so self-entitled and intolerant.
We live socially this means there will be other people around .

Who said anything about equating fine dining with a café? Posters suggested kids should go to Mcdonalds or Harvesters. I suggested they would learn about fine dining from those establishments. I never said anything about a café being fine dining. Talk about jumping to conclusions.