Restaurant owner asking us to keep children quiet?

[tearsinmyeyes]

Who is being U here?

Met up with my sisters for brunch . We have ten children between five of us. We all live in different countries and today was the last day of seeing each other so we fancied
Going out for a bite to eat . We picked a local casual cafe that is large enough to accommodate 10 of us with plenty more space (including a one year old with highchair . The others were between 3-12).
We were sat on table discussing what to order . Obviously we were a party of fifteen so we weren't exactly quiet but we were talking at normal volume . The children were all seated . I noticed when we walked in there was an elderly lady and her friend and one of them rolled her eyes at us and then kept turning and glaring . When my youngest sister arrived with thenlast child she said loudly 'there's more of them now'. I approached her and said 'is there a problem ?' And she said 'there's too many of you and I can't hear my friend talk, why have you got so many children ?' I said , am sorry if you're stressed out but the children are talking at normal volume and this is a family friendly cafe.' The owner then approached us and said 'I've got lunch hour coming and last week I lost customers because a family had kids running around and misbehaving '. I asked him to look around the table and said 'all the children are sat down. We've told them to speak in soft voices and nobody Is running around misbehaving . We are also paying customers and you can't expect the children to eat in silence '. He said 'well they're all quiet now please keep it that way '. I said 'they're quiet because they're watching this conversation . I can't guarantee they'll remain silent throughout the meal'. He kept going on about it so Then we decided between us we were not comfortable to stay and left .
To be honest I felt it unreasonable to tell customers to be quiet when they weren't screaming / shouting. Of course a table of 15 is going to produce some noise but everyone was talking at a normal volume.
AIBU to think this restaurant owner was rude and to not want to eat there again ?

Yanbu, bloody hell. Some people!

Any 15 seat table is going to be noisy whether there are kids or not.

Well the cafe owner is a fool if he let you leave. I'm sure you'd have spent a fortune!

If all was as you say, you weren't being unreasonable. The other customers obviously took a dislike against you as soon as they saw you.

I guess the owner has to decide whether to upset a one-off party, or the other people who may be regulars...

Mulledwine - I am a regular . I come with my parents all the time as I am resident here - the rest live abroad . I reminded him that I was a regular and he didn't seem to care.

Suprised he kept going on about when he knew he could potentially lose a table of 15 as opposed to just 2 paying customers

His loss!

How unfair for you OP. Some people just like drama and to moan.

He might not want to become known as a family type restaurant. As he said he lost customers because of badly behaved children. Be honest here, 10 kids are going to be noisy even if they are well behaved. Many many people might not want to be seated near your table. I don't think he was a fool, he probably wants to keep his regulars happy.

So where did you go to, OP?

I don't think the cafe owner was a fool , he probably wanted you to leave . If I was looking for somewhere to have lunch and I saw a table of 10 children of those ages i.e. Small , I wouldn't go in , I'd pick somewhere else and that's probably what the owner was thinking . I've nothing against small children , I've had my own , but if I'm not with them myself I'd rather eat somewhere where it's more likely to be quiet and that's not saying your party was going to be particularly loud , but as pp has said any party of 15 is going to be louder than your avaerage cafe table of 2/3/4/5 .

Did u pay the bill before u left? I think I would've just walked out without paying if I was spoken to like that by the owner! Rude!!

You did the right thing to leave if you felt unwelcome (and to never eat there again).

However, I don't think the restaurant owner was being particularly unreasonable, as he had a complaint from another customer. He had to weigh up the opinions of two sets of customers and there was no way he could keep everyone happy!

In the end we went to the cafe across the road which is much smaller. It was completely empty and before we went in we asked if it was ok to come with a party of 15 that included 10 children . They looked surprised we asked and said of course it was ok. I actually was glad I went as the newer cafe seems to have taken their customers away! They were super friendly , brought crayons for the toddler and were really accommodating

No way of keeping a table of 15 quiet, tough one for the staff though as a pp said someone is going to be unhappy. I went for a quiet meal in a restaurant recently with my dh and we were beside a party of about 15 to 20 adults and we couldn't hear ourselves think never mind have a conversation. It was just bad luck. Cafes are usually fairly noisy anyway though so imo yanbu.

you do know if you walk out without paying it is theft and you can be prosicuted you know you wouldnt walkout of a shop taking items because you didnt like a staff member would you? its no different

You should have contacted the restaurant beforehand *and explained that you were a party of 15. Let's face it, you are going to sit there for hours while the adults chat and the kids get increasingly restless. I would walk on by if I saw you in there and I bet others would too so potentially he would have lost good trade.

• or gone to macdonalds.

Yanbu

By all means intervene if the kids start misbehaving but not before.

Although I can kinda understand from a business point of view that five adults and probabky what amounts to an extra 3 portions of chips for the kids isn't exactly hugely profitable the elderly couple who come in for the 2 meals for 7 pounds and share a pot of tea don't exactly bring in a tom of money eitger (and befire anyone says anything this is exactly what happened where I worked).

Any gathering no matter how big or small has potential to make a racket or cause a problem and I've seen many kids far better behaved than adults. They should have just seen how it went befire making you so unwelcome

I was prepared to say YABU but it sounds all quite normal really.

His loss

I would have probably asked in the cafe owner whether it was ok to come in as a party of 15 tbh. I would also give the cafe a wide birth with a party of 15 already set up,
I hate noisy groups having a good time!

Sorry YABU for not asking cafe owner.

A table of 5 adults and 10 children would take longer and spend less than 7 tables of two, which could probably be turned.

Also all children are fucking awful in public, apparently the parents just never notice.

If I poked my head through the door and espied 10 kids and 5 adults at a table, I'm afraid I'd keep on walking.

Not saying you did anything wrong, OP, just that the environment described would put some people off eating there.

Glad you had a nice time in the end.

I don't think you necessarily are being unreasonable but I also think big parties like that are best pre booking as well

User- I've seen plenty of well behaved children in public. Am not saying ours were well behaved but they weren't 'fucking awful'. 'Fucking awful' is running around , talking to other customers , making a mess with food , squabbling , standing on chairs . I've seen badly behaved children and probably far more acceptably behaved ones . Ours were doing exactly what the adults were doing - sitting and talking. Do people really truely believe that children are incapable of sitting in a restaurant without being fucking awful ?

I wouldn't eat there again if the kids were honestly well behaved and not shouting.

It's obvious which cafes are family friendly and which are more adult.

Personally I would have headed to Pizza Hut etc with lots of kids rather than a smaller indeoendant.

If it was one of these cafes with a playground outside, then YANBU.

Otherwise, I do sympathise with the restaurant owner. So many families come with children and bring their own food for the kids! They make a mess, disturb everybody, the kids run wild, they are a nightmare. It is safer to ask in advance if it's ok to accomodate your party. I would be amazed if your 10 children were that quiet to start with. They are kids, we know what to expect.