Restaurant owner asking us to keep children quiet?

[tearsinmyeyes]

Who is being U here?

Met up with my sisters for brunch . We have ten children between five of us. We all live in different countries and today was the last day of seeing each other so we fancied
Going out for a bite to eat . We picked a local casual cafe that is large enough to accommodate 10 of us with plenty more space (including a one year old with highchair . The others were between 3-12).
We were sat on table discussing what to order . Obviously we were a party of fifteen so we weren't exactly quiet but we were talking at normal volume . The children were all seated . I noticed when we walked in there was an elderly lady and her friend and one of them rolled her eyes at us and then kept turning and glaring . When my youngest sister arrived with thenlast child she said loudly 'there's more of them now'. I approached her and said 'is there a problem ?' And she said 'there's too many of you and I can't hear my friend talk, why have you got so many children ?' I said , am sorry if you're stressed out but the children are talking at normal volume and this is a family friendly cafe.' The owner then approached us and said 'I've got lunch hour coming and last week I lost customers because a family had kids running around and misbehaving '. I asked him to look around the table and said 'all the children are sat down. We've told them to speak in soft voices and nobody Is running around misbehaving . We are also paying customers and you can't expect the children to eat in silence '. He said 'well they're all quiet now please keep it that way '. I said 'they're quiet because they're watching this conversation . I can't guarantee they'll remain silent throughout the meal'. He kept going on about it so Then we decided between us we were not comfortable to stay and left .
To be honest I felt it unreasonable to tell customers to be quiet when they weren't screaming / shouting. Of course a table of 15 is going to produce some noise but everyone was talking at a normal volume.
AIBU to think this restaurant owner was rude and to not want to eat there again ?

I don't think anyone was UR. Weighing it up, the cafe owner probably thought it was better if you left. It meant he could placate the people already feeling aggrieved; he had tables for his regular lunch crowd; and he could turn the tables round quicker so he took more money.

Please write a review on TripAdvisor and Google.

The "family friendly" claim is false advertising.

You just got caught in the backlash of an owner who has had badly behaved children in his cafe before. Which is unfortunate, but you all seem to have got what you wanted in the end. Yes, some children run around, yell, play games, ride scooters inside shops, and crash into unrelated people around them. Many don't and are less memorable.
It is the aggro that sticks in the mind,you will remember this event far longer than all the times you have had trouble-free outings.

Fair enough

On its website it's advertised as 'family friendly

Yes but by that they mean one or two adults with a couple of children. They don't mean a group of 15 with 10 of them kids!

He never asked us to leave , by the way .
He insisted we stay but the kids have to 'sit quietly '

The "family friendly" claim is false advertising

I'm not sure I agree with this. There is a difference between a family of one or two adults and two or three children, and a group of 15 including ten children. With the smaller family, there may well even be other families in the cafe with the same numbers and they would none of them mind having other children around.

Please write a review on TripAdvisor and Google.

I can't see how a review stating that an owner asked a party of 10 children to stay quiet and considerate of other clients will put anyone off, best way to attract new customers!

"Weighing it up, the cafe owner probably thought it was better if you left."

The thing is, there are always reasons why some customers might be more profitable but if, as a business, you expect customers to meet your needs, instead of the other way around- you are onto a loser.

Nobody would go back to this cafe having been treated the way the OP was. She will presumably write a review that may put others off. Cafes live and die by this repeat business and slow build up of reputation. People will overlook a lot for genuine good customer service.

Start being awkward with customers because they lingered too long or ordered low profit items this time and eventually you go bust.

YANBU. I would leave too if I was told to continue to be quiet. What a cheek. It's ironic that the people complaining were elderly as in my experience they are often the noisiest if in a large group.

When I take my dc to the local Chinese buffet they are always pleased to see us!! Actually charge the middle dc the cheaper price though prob should be the higher charge!! Nothing is too much hassle and we never tip that well either - average amount. Dc are always well behaved and appreciate the lovely food!! Have seen some bad reviews on TA but always record our positive trips on there!
Sounds like your new cafe will see you back many times!!
Other cafe has lost out imo!!

'Age-enhanced'! I've never heard that before

"If they want a peaceful adult environment, there are better places"

I think part of the problem is that there aren't better places. Everywhere allows children. I'd see the owners' point - if I was wandering along with a friend and looked in a few cafe windows, the one with 10 children is the one I'm not going to! And depending on the trade, if that applies to a lot of people who might be passing at lunchtime - office workers? - then I can see his point.

OP you're right, you can't guarantee they will be quiet but I imagine if you book a group of 15 and 10 are children and it's known at the time of booking, some places might say no.

It's ironic that the people complaining were elderly as in my experience they are often the noisiest if in a large group

I think the "large group" is the point, no matter the age.

Coddi- he didn't ask us to be considerate .
He said they need to be quiet .
All the other adults in the place were talking and laughing as normal .
As I told him I couldn't guarantee they would remain quiet from start to end of their meal and felt we would be too anxious watching them and telling them to shush , we decided to leave . He kept insisting we stay .it wasn't getting anywhere so we left .

Or perhaps, like in my town, the different cafes will have different customers. If I'm looking for a quiet lunchtime with a friend, a quick snack, a long slow mooch with small children in tow, I go to different places. Rather like when I used to go to pubs.

I can't see how a review stating that an owner asked a party of 10 children to stay quiet and considerate of other clients will put anyone off, best way to attract new customers!

It would put me off even though I don't have small children. It would be different if they were asked to keep the noise down if they had actually been noisy but doing it in advance seems quite unfriendly. I bet they wouldn't treat a large group of adults like that even though they can be just as noisy as children if not more so.

He didn't say no when we walked in - am I being unclear or are people just not reading the thread ? He welcomed us in and then twenty minutes in asked if the children could sit quietly . He then asked us to stay when we said we couldn't maintain silence and got up to leave .

I think the "large group" is the point, no matter the age.

In my experience, large groups of elderly people are often the noisiest though, presumably because many can't hear that well so talk rather loudly.

He probably didn't want to offend you but also didn't want to give you the impression that this should be a regular thing maybe.

YANBU- I wouldn't go there again.

Name and shame please OP

The google overview states 'good for kids ' 'good for groups'. Not sure who writes these things ...

Greendale am tempted to name and shame. But don't want to disclose where I live !

Twenty minutes after you arrived and you still hadn't ordered anything and your party was annoying other customers. There's a limit to how family-friendly they can be.