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Who is BU? Antenatal waiting room

184 replies

waitingroomangst · 27/07/2017 12:20

NC just in case it's rather outing. I was at the antenatal clinic this morning getting a routine check up at the hospital. The waiting room was PACKED, there were hardly any seats free and we were told to expect long delays in being seen today.

2 seats are currently free so a woman with her two DSs one maybe 4, the other 7-8ish make their way to the seats. The younger child sits on mums lap, the older child takes the free seat next to her.

About 5-10 minutes pass and now there are no seats free in the waiting room and a few women now have to stand while waiting. Woman whose child is in seat doesn't ask child to vacate seat for heavily pregnant women.

AIBU to think that the child should have got off the seat to let a pregnant woman sit down? There was a "kids corner" full of toys and books he could have distracted himself with and played with his brother, additionally I don't know why the mother didn't bring them any books or an iPad or something for her sons while waiting.

This is my first child so please feel free to tell me "I don't understand because I don't yet have kids" or something to that effect.

OP posts:
waitforitfdear · 27/07/2017 12:22

Of course the child should.

When I was at antenatal a while ago there was a sign telling all the seats were for pregnant women priority.

Speak up love and either ask the mim to move the kid or get the staff to.

TonicAndTonic · 27/07/2017 12:25

Sounds to me like YANBU at all, but I don't have any kids yet either! My antenatal dept has just brought in a rule of no under 14s at ultrasound scans, not sure about other outpatient appts. Obviously going to cause lots of people childcare problems, but might also help reduce issues like the one you had to deal with Flowers

waitingroomangst · 27/07/2017 12:26

I'm so annoyed I didn't say anything! I was on the other side of the room and couldn't leave my precious real estate seat unattended.

I thought the mum was rude and entitled letting her kid sit while women were standing!

OP posts:
TheSparrowhawk · 27/07/2017 12:26

Of course they should. There is no way I'd let my DS sit down while pregnant women stand. A child can easily sit on the floor anyway.

BrazillaBells · 27/07/2017 12:27

YABU it's none of your business tbh. When I was pregnant, I'd rather a child have the seat than myself. I'd also rather stand than try to awkwardly sit in those uncomfy chairs!
Just because someone is pregnant doesn't mean everyone should fall at their feet. If someone was really struggling to stand, they have a mouth, they can ask...

Sirzy · 27/07/2017 12:30

Where all the women alone? No partners sat down taking up seats?

waitingroomangst · 27/07/2017 12:31

In total there were 3 men. One was sitting down (he should have also given up his seat!) and 2 were standing. Otherwise it was just women and a few other children who were playing in the kids corner.

OP posts:
emilybrontescorset · 27/07/2017 12:34

I think the child should have offered his seat. I also think the man should be standing.

Pengggwn · 27/07/2017 12:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mollyboom · 27/07/2017 12:36

IME a huge problem is created when people decide to bring a fecking entourage along to antenatal clinics. A partner I can understand but I recall friends and sisters etc all coming along and this wasn't even for scans.

Bisquick · 27/07/2017 12:36

At my usually crowded London trust the midwives or receptionists regularly come out and make an announcement asking partners and children to give up their seats for the pregnant women. My partner comes to most scans but always stands.

Sure pregnant women aren't precious or needing to be wrapped up in cotton wool. And 7 year olds and grown partners don't need to be taking up space either.

YANBU although if I was standing in that situation and felt exhausted I'd have either sat on the floor or asked the mum nicely if her kid could move.

MotherofSausage · 27/07/2017 12:37

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TipBoov · 27/07/2017 12:38

YABU. When I am pregnant, I prefer to stand, I'm 5'0 and sitting down squishes everything!

If they wanted a seat, they should have asked really.

FadedRed · 27/07/2017 12:39

Perhaps contacting PALS and asking for them to look into this on behalf of everyone attending this clinic.
Insufficient number of seats and long waiting times, if a regular occurrence, is not acceptable level of care for a planned clinic IMO. You can expect this in A&E and similar emergency/urgent areas of health care, but it shouldn't happen in planned care with pre booked appointments. If no-one ever questions this/complains about, then it will not change.

cansu · 27/07/2017 12:39

I think it depends on lots of things. Generally yes he should have given up his seat but maybe she needed him to sit with her for other reasons that arent immediately obvious. Personally I try not to get worked up about stuff like this. You cant know her individual circumstances so you shouldn't judge her.

KimmySchmidt1 · 27/07/2017 12:40

wtf was that one bloke doing sitting??????

My policy is on men sitting instead of a pregnant woman is that you are welcome to sit provided you let me castrate you now.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 27/07/2017 12:40

Yabu to expect a child to automatically stand up. He's not going to think. Oh she's pregnant. I better stand up and doff my cap.
However his mother should have told him to stand up. She must be pregnant herself so She should understand what's its like

Nanny0gg · 27/07/2017 12:43

If he needed to be close to his mum he could have sat on the floor!

Yes the other women could have asked for a seat, but they might have felt uncomfortable doing so in a room full of people (these days you never know the reaction you'd get)but they actually shouldn't have to - the man and the child should have given up their seats automatically.

GuiltyFeet · 27/07/2017 12:45

Well, it's possible the child was feeling ill or had had a long walk to get there, but really I think heavily pregnant women trump nearly everything.

I don't see why the mother should have brought something to entertain them, though - you say there were toys and books available anyway?

pastafairy · 27/07/2017 12:47

Our waiting room has a big sign saying pregnant patients have priority for seats. We were never kept waiting long though so was not an issue.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 27/07/2017 12:48

Next time have a word with reception, of ask any midwife passing through.

They are happy to ask for the seats to be made available for pregnant women.

missyB1 · 27/07/2017 12:50

Of course the kid should have stood up, I have an 8 year old ds, I would have told him to offer his seat. To be honest he would have been in the kids area anyway, even though he's 8 he still likes a chance to play with younger kids stuff!
Seats in patient waiting areas are for the patients first and foremost surely that's just logical?

DioneTheDiabolist · 27/07/2017 12:50

YANBU OP. If I had been there I would have asked the man or the boy to move so I could sit down. I would also have made DP/DS get up if any pregnant woman was standing. Chairs in doctors or hospitals are for patients, not encourages.

Cuppaoftea · 27/07/2017 12:50

You're overreacting to be so annoyed. Why are you questioning them not having books or an ipad (!) if they were sitting quietly with their Mum? The older child was likely a bit old for what was in the toddler corner.

They didn't take up three seats, she popped her younger child on her lap which pregnant with a four year old on a waiting room seat probably wasn't overly comfortable. Maybe she was knackered, pregnant herself with older children at home full time for the holidays, didn't have anyone to look after them and just needed to sit down and rest while keeping them close to her in a busy waiting room. Hopefully she felt able to ignore your looks and wasn't upset by them!

MyRedPepper · 27/07/2017 12:51

Actually I think the man Was even more rude.
It's interesting to see that it's the child you noticed and thought it really wasn't on and not the adult man.

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