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AIBU?

Who is BU? Antenatal waiting room

184 replies

waitingroomangst · 27/07/2017 12:20

NC just in case it's rather outing. I was at the antenatal clinic this morning getting a routine check up at the hospital. The waiting room was PACKED, there were hardly any seats free and we were told to expect long delays in being seen today.

2 seats are currently free so a woman with her two DSs one maybe 4, the other 7-8ish make their way to the seats. The younger child sits on mums lap, the older child takes the free seat next to her.

About 5-10 minutes pass and now there are no seats free in the waiting room and a few women now have to stand while waiting. Woman whose child is in seat doesn't ask child to vacate seat for heavily pregnant women.

AIBU to think that the child should have got off the seat to let a pregnant woman sit down? There was a "kids corner" full of toys and books he could have distracted himself with and played with his brother, additionally I don't know why the mother didn't bring them any books or an iPad or something for her sons while waiting.

This is my first child so please feel free to tell me "I don't understand because I don't yet have kids" or something to that effect.

OP posts:
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AccrualIntentions · 28/07/2017 16:18

Morphene - you make a lot of assumptions about people's motivations for doing things. I open doors for people (male, female, transgender, children, elderly, strapping 6 foot male rugby players) because it's an ingrained habit from when I was at school. It's not because I think they're weak because they're female, or elderly or whatever. It's because it's polite.

The fact you're likening this to wolf whistling is ludicrous.

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DeleteOrDecay · 28/07/2017 16:20

Some people don't have the confidence to ask, they may feel uncomfortable approaching a stranger, they may not ask out of pride or for fear of coming across as entitled. I know I wouldn't have asked when pregnant, but I would have really appreciated someone offering as I found standing for longer than 5 minutes painful especially in the later stages.

At least if the seat is offered it gives the other person a chance to decline if they wish, or accept when they might have otherwise spent that time feeling uncomfortable. I'll continue to offer my seat to anyone who looks like they may need it. They are free to say no if they wish (although in my experience most people gratefully say yes).

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Morphene · 28/07/2017 16:48

acc I will hold open a door for anyone if I get there first. I have no problem with people doing this to me. People who deliberately over take you to make a 'thing' of holding the door open for me, but curiously don't do the same thing for male colleagues are being sexist.

del I'm sorry you don't have the confidence to ask people to meet your needs while you were pregnant. I'm not sure the solution is to have the whole world treat pregnant women as fragile and 'other'. I think the solution might be for you to work out why you don't feel able to ask for things you need, and work on that. For one thing you will undoubtedly need things in the future and you won't be pregnant so nobody will be looking out for you.

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CherryChasingDotMuncher · 28/07/2017 18:23

Giving up your seat to an elderly person is ageist? I've heard it all now.

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DioneTheDiabolist · 28/07/2017 19:07

Morphene - you make a lot of assumptions...

I'll say.Hmm And if your posts regarding me and men not vacating their seats in antenatal waiting rooms out of respect, are anything to go by, then you get it wrong a lot of the time. Now, about that bet? Will we call it £15 or is that too much Morphene?

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MargotLovedTom1 · 28/07/2017 19:13

Morphene you might think you're striking a blow for feminism, anti-ageism, anti-disablism, anti- whatever by sitting there smugly on your seat while pregnant women and elderly and disabled people have to stand, but actually you're just making yourself look rude, bad mannered and ignorant.

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imokit · 28/07/2017 22:21

She was probably pregnant herself and waiting for her own scan. The fact she came alone and with her kids meant she probably didn't have childcare. She kept the littlest on her lap and didn't take up an extra seat. I think she had every right to choose to sit with her children. I would not have wanted my kid to sit on a waiting room floor (it's dirty and gross). It's easier to get a kid to sit still for a while then stand still. She may have felt too pregnant to play in the kids corner with them.
If you were talking about the children being out of control and crazy it would be different. But sitting on/next to mum talking being excited etc that's fine. Likewise if they were reasonably well controlled she didn't need to bring them entertainment (and you don't know that she didn't have stuff on her bag in case of emergency).

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NeedsAsockamnesty · 28/07/2017 23:59

The men in my office who offer to help me out all the time because I'm a woman so it must be harder for me, don't think they are being sexist either

I don't think they are thinking you find it harder because you have a vagina.
I think they think you find it harder because they have actually real life met you

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Morphene · 30/07/2017 23:32

needs lol - that must be it!

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