DH on holiday

[Holidayhell1]

NC for this.

We are currently on holiday, all inc. as you tend to do, we've found our 'spot' to sit at each day, next to a pool and under some trees. Nearby are a couple of women, who happen to speak the same language as DH's native language. Both women have been blatantly eyeing DH up (he's very fit and classically good looking). Our DCs have noticed it, they make it very obvious, one in particular goes in the pool the minute DH does.

He told me a couple of days ago he'd joined in a conversation they were having (in the language) the other day as he was getting food. I was irritated and said wtf, you refuse to even be friendly to neighbour's at home. He knew I was annoyed with how openly they were showing their interest.

Last night he stayed at the bar after me and the DCs went back to the room. (About 1030/12) at 0045 he still wasn't back and not responding to texts or calls. Me and a DC trudged up to the bar and there he's sat, happily drinking and chatting to one of the slappers.

He says I'm spoiling the holiday by being upset, and that it was an innocent drink, he wasn't doing anything. I say just because it was just a drink, it will have signalled interest on his part, and it's deeply disrespectful and humiliating to me.

AIBU? Is my reaction OTT? The DCs are furious with him and told him he was 'untrustworthy and cheating'. He's gone off on his own.

Kind advice please 😔😔

Why didn't you just tell your daughter that daddy had obviously got talking and would be back soon? Why let her know he wasn't returning texts etc?

I did this one night, went back to the room with H and our daughter then I went to the bar to get us a drink, got talking and came back about an hour later with a warm G&T for H and he laughs about it to this day.

And how exactly are they coming on to him? You are clearly watching them to see where they are looking and if you do that long enough then you will see what it is you want to see!

Do they approach your H in the pool?

And is it any different to when I sometimes say "oh a fellow Scot, where you from?" when I sometimes hear a common accent while abroad?

OP is looking for some support and reassurance that she's not BU from other women.

A lot of people MN from holiday destinations - I'd imagine that;s because being on holiday can be really stressful - with stroppy kids, or a partner who's upsetting you (who you normally don't have to deal with 24/7).

Of course these woman are wrong to be flirting so publicly with a man whose wife and kids are present, but the promise between the OP and her husband is between THOSE parties, and it's her DH she needs to be focused on. A decent bloke could have a line of naked girls doing the can-can in front of him and would be mortified, rather than flattered and opportunistic.

'Slappers' is very out of order, as is blaming the women for their behaviour. As pps have said, OK it's not very decent, but they owe you nothing; your DH is the one who's on holiday with his wife and children.

I'd take the kids and fuck off home, personally.

Your H is the one being an arse, not these women. He is married but is happy to sit drinking with one of them into the early hours, leaving you and your DC alone. That is 100% his issue.

These woman were eyeing him up, yes, but so what? He didn't have to do anything about it. For all they know you're not even his wife, or could be a wife who doesn't give a shit who he goes off with - he could have fed them any old bollox.

He is married to you and should be loyal and respectful of you. They are not and therefore owe you nothing. Being a wife doesn't mean other women should bow at your feet - but it should mean that your husband has enough respect for your to not act like a slapper himself.

sapphire Younwould take your kids and go home because your H spoke to the opposite sex in a bar?

Overreaction much??

"I wonder how he would have felt if he had been sat in the hotel room with DC's and you were at the bar with another man till that time.

He is being really disrespectful and trying to shirk the blame"

^^ this

What a disrespectful dick. I'd be furious.

This prevailing attitude that women 'own' their husbands is very cringe-inducing.

YABU. Nothing in your post makes me think they are 'slappers' making a play for your husband. All they've done is look at him? And swim in the same hotel pool as him? And shared a drink with someone who shares their language.

I think you need to trust him more, or think seriously about why you cannot.

"and standing posing for photos (stretched arms out in teeny bikini) in front of DH

Ok so they are attractive. Sweetie, I mean this gently, I think you're jealous."

Wearing a teeny bikini doesn't mean you're necessarily exceptionally attractive, but anyway. And even if they are, why does that mean OP is "jealous" and even if she was, why would that mean she should endure what's going on?

For goodness sake. They are making a play for her DH and he's going along with it. Out of order all round. No mater what they look like.

Has he come back yet? He's the one ruining the holiday, not you, how the hell can he blame you for his twattish behaviour?

id be fucking jealous too. Id be furious. Hes humiliating you for a bit of cheap attention. Youd think if he was so good looking, hed be used to getting attention and being able to brush it off, but it sounds like in this case, hes really enjoying the attention. Its a family holiday, not a singles holiday, and hes in the wrong

Of course these women are out of order! I wouldn't use the word Slapper, but I could think of some other choice phrases .

I'd seriously ask your H, if he wants to go and spend the rest of the holiday with these "ladies" or with him family. It's his choice.

Dreadful behaviour from your husband, I really feel for you.
He has clearly had his head turned, and is revelling in the attention.
I would feel hurt too, and yes, of course your children are old enough to have noticed. I don't know the answer, quite honestly, I'd feel like going home, but of course that's not the answer.😡💐

No one has said women own their husbands.

It's about respect and it goes both ways. No one should flirt with someone else who is clearly trying to pull them, in front of their spouse and kids, and then stay out late drinking with them. Male or female, straight or gay, it's just disrespectful and hurtful.

That DOESN'T mean you can't ever talk to anyone else of the opposite sex, but that's not what this is.

My DH gets a lot of attention pool side too. I couldn't be bothered getting that wound up about it to be honest. He's got a good body, works out. I don't think you trust your DH. If you did it wouldn't bother you I don't think.

InvisibleKittenAttack - you're completely missing my point. OP is misdirecting her anger, wouldn't you agree?

Women on holiday, takin photos, by the pool, in bikinis? Well I never

But what exactly are the women actually doing? The op thinks they have looked at him too much and pose for photos to get his attention! That's not flirting.

OP, it sounds as though your husband is going out of his way to make you angry or jealous or feel inadequate or worried. I wouldn't rise to it, would enjoy the rest of your holiday with your children and then let him try and explain what the fuck he was playing at when he is ready to apologise.

Rhubarb - my children are playing in the pool with a friend, if that's ok? As they usually do on holiday. And my DH has pissed off on his own because he says it was all ok as 'he wasn't doing anything'.
Blunt - of course I'm fucking jealous! Two women are waving scantily clad bodies in my husband's face while I'm sat there! They are most definitely coming on to him! They're not young twenty somethings, both are at least late 30s so wtf they think his achieves is beyond me. Attention, I guess. When I say stretched out, I mean in fucking weird fashion model poses and hands behind heads pouting.

Me and DH normally joke if there's someone attractive nearby that either of us notice, but these two are going out of their way. It was actually my eldest who noticed it first, asking me 'why is that lady following daddy around the pool?'

I can't see the big deal. Random women around a pool in bikinis taking photos and casting looks at your oh and swimming in the same pool.
A drink in a public hotel bar with said women.
It wasn't like he was having a threesome on a sun lounger.
Men are allowed to talk to other women without their wife/ owner present. And getting your children involved is out of order and I don't blame him for going off on his own.

The women's behaviour is cringey. Your husbands is disgusting! He is the one who is married and flirting with other women in front of his wife and children. It would be marriage over for me. It's exactly what my EXp would have done and part of why I ended it.

Am I alone in "allowing" my DH to sometimes talk to people of the opposite sex? even ones that are attractive?

He is at work right now doing just that, shall I take my DC with me and bring him home?

OP unless you have reason to distrust your DH I think you have over reacted. On holiday one of the most obvious conversations is surely asking where people are from? hence the chat in their language?

My DH had a great laugh with a women on holiday from his home country, I had a great laugh with a bar man.

Clear the air with him, maybe ask him not to stay out after you and the DC? maybe you stay back for a last drink and bring you both one to the room tonight? me and DH take it in turns to fetch drinks when on an all inclusive.

Maybe smile and talk to these women?

You sound unhinged.

Sitting down having a drink with these women is hardly a come on, what bollocks!!

I bet the real problem here is that they look hotter in a bikini than you do.