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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH on holiday

384 replies

Holidayhell1 · 25/07/2017 11:05

NC for this.

We are currently on holiday, all inc. as you tend to do, we've found our 'spot' to sit at each day, next to a pool and under some trees. Nearby are a couple of women, who happen to speak the same language as DH's native language. Both women have been blatantly eyeing DH up (he's very fit and classically good looking). Our DCs have noticed it, they make it very obvious, one in particular goes in the pool the minute DH does.

He told me a couple of days ago he'd joined in a conversation they were having (in the language) the other day as he was getting food. I was irritated and said wtf, you refuse to even be friendly to neighbour's at home. He knew I was annoyed with how openly they were showing their interest.

Last night he stayed at the bar after me and the DCs went back to the room. (About 1030/12) at 0045 he still wasn't back and not responding to texts or calls. Me and a DC trudged up to the bar and there he's sat, happily drinking and chatting to one of the slappers.

He says I'm spoiling the holiday by being upset, and that it was an innocent drink, he wasn't doing anything. I say just because it was just a drink, it will have signalled interest on his part, and it's deeply disrespectful and humiliating to me.

AIBU? Is my reaction OTT? The DCs are furious with him and told him he was 'untrustworthy and cheating'. He's gone off on his own.

Kind advice please 😔😔

OP posts:
UnicornSparkles1 · 26/07/2017 17:17

Chuckling at Holidayhooray

Pool Slapper, is that you?? You sound very bitter.

Sallystyle · 26/07/2017 17:35

Not read the whole thread but I would be very pissed off.

If someone was coming onto me I wouldn't be drinking with them. Talking and having a drink with strangers on holiday is fine. Drinking alone with women who have been openly coming onto you while your wife is with the kids at a hotel room is not fine. Well it wouldn't be in my marriage and neither of us would disrespect the other like that.

I can bullshit that anyone would be cool about this.

gingergenius · 26/07/2017 17:41

I will make sure I tell the lovely innocent lady to wait until the DC are in another pool before she moves her sunbed directly in front of him (3 ft away - not crowded) and removes her bikini top (no one else topless).

ShockShockShock

@Holidayhell1 if that's not blatant flirting I don't know what is!!

Sallystyle · 26/07/2017 17:42

Goodness Bluntness you're bending over backwards to prove how innocent this man in being and how you don't have an insecure bone in your body.

Good for you. Most people would have a problem with it. The OP is responding pretty normally to the situation. It's more unusual not to feel insecure and angry about your husband drinking with women who have been coming onto him. I trust that the OP knows what she is seeing and she isn't just someone with paranoid jealously who is making this all up in her head.

Sallystyle · 26/07/2017 17:49

Isn't it funny how her husband is so unsociable he can't even speak to the neighbours but he manages to stay up late drinking with two attractive women who are clearly attracted to him?

Beelzebop · 26/07/2017 17:49

I think YANBU. I would want an apology from dh. I consider all 3 to be slappers.

GlitterSparkles17 · 26/07/2017 18:07

I don't understand all the bashing the OP is getting?! She clearly has eyes and knows the difference between friendly and inappropriate flirty behaviour!
I would have reacted exactly the same way and FYI pre teens aren't blind or stupid!!

Imbeingunreasonable · 26/07/2017 18:33

I'll post this again for those who are having difficulty with this thread.

A lot of people don't bother rtft then come out with judgey sanctimonious statements when all they have to do is read the info provided. Grrr!

Looking at you hooray

Imbeingunreasonable · 26/07/2017 18:34

I will make sure I tell the lovely innocent lady to wait until the DC are in another pool before she moves her sunbed directly in front of him (3 ft away - not crowded) and removes her bikini top (no one else topless).

I normally wouldn't be arsed about this kind of thing but under the circumstances this is just fucking blatant! I hope she gets sunburnt tits

crazykitten20 · 26/07/2017 18:37

@Holidayhell1

For me it isn't about whether he's touting for a flirt or whether the ladies are. That's irrelevant because you don't know.

For me it appears he'd rather be with those ladies than you/dc.

If this continues during the holiday I'd tell him to pack his things when you get back home. You and dc deserve more respect

xkatie27x · 26/07/2017 18:40

YANBU at all. Also NBU to call them slappers - I thought a friend of DP was lovely until I found out she'd been openly trying to get with him. Now she's known as 'the bitch' :D

MyheartbelongstoG · 26/07/2017 18:40

This is why I hate being so damned attractive.

MyKingdomForBrie · 26/07/2017 18:42

Idiots not reading the thread and then posting pointless bile should be ashamed (looking at you holidayhooray aka poolside slapped in disguise)

bluntness I actually think you owe op an apology for your continued 'it's just jealousy' line on this thread long after it was demonstrably wrong. You've been patronising and rude and completely ignored any posts that don't fit the 'facts' you decided on from the start.

Spangles1963 · 26/07/2017 19:03

Although their behaviour is questionable (flirting with a man who is with his wife and kids) I think the problem really lies with your DH,not them. Would he be totally fine with you staying out late chatting and drinking with a guy,and ignoring his phone calls?

Original poster
Holidayhell1 · 27/07/2017 09:05

So just arrived at the pool. LIL (Lovely Innocent Ladies) weren't there. Girls and DH set up 4 sun beds - 3 in a row in the shade, one behind them more in sun for DH who doesn't burn as much).

And they arrived. Sunbed placed PARALELL and directly next to DH sunbed!!!!! So I grabbed one of the row of 3 and put them together, moved into shade. LIL then moved her sunbed to have its back to the girls who were now on the two behind. I realise this reads like a Sit com, but seriously, who the fuck singles their sunbed up to some else's husband??!!

Am I paranoid?! DH has completely ignored them since our chat, and the women now scowl at me 😗.

I plan to invite any other families with attractive daddies to come sit around same pool - maybe they'll move on.

OP posts:
Original poster
Holidayhell1 · 27/07/2017 09:05

*snuggles

OP posts:
Screwinthetuna · 27/07/2017 09:10

Sorry, I haven't read all thread. It would piss me off too, especially the other language bit. Do you not speak it?

I would be sitting somewhere else, far away from them. You've spent money on this holiday and you shouldn't be preoccupied with them

MargotLovedTom1 · 27/07/2017 09:23

I would just go out as a family. It's not conducive to a relaxing atmosphere is it?! Or is there anywhere else in shade you could move to?

UnicornSparkles1 · 27/07/2017 09:35

This is like something out of Duty Free!

They really have no shame.

Imbeingunreasonable · 27/07/2017 09:37

Weird behaviour OP! What if they're Russian spies Shock stalking you for intelligence Grin

I jest but it's fucking bizarre. I don't know how you've not said anything to them. Don't think I could hold my tongue.

You could always go to the bar, order a drink, bring it back to your sun lounger and accidentally spill it on them Wink

Lweji · 27/07/2017 09:41

Does your OH work for the US government? Any other government? Are you sure he's not a sleeper?

Have you considered a Bridget Jones II scenery where they were actually trying it for you but were too shy?

Silverst0rm · 27/07/2017 09:55

The LILs are loons.

Mind you, people do have different ideas about personal space. We were once in a hotel with mainly Chinese tourists and they would often come and sit on my DH's or the DC sun beds (literally an inch away from me) whenever they were in the pool - and smoke! Even though all our stuff was on the chairs, they would just sit in it. Imagine the reaction of the Brits at this sunbed faux-pas Shock.

Three Chinese girls in their early 20s also sat on the edge of the pool and made a video of DH (in his 40s) swimming and getting in out of the pool Hmm. They then proceeded to show it to him. What do you say to that? Then they used to wave at us at dinner and I'm sure they were taking photos of the kids as well.

thenightsky · 27/07/2017 10:05

Silverst0rm I've had that too! Complete stranger decide to sit, soaking wet from the pool, on the end of my sunbed when I had my knees up to support a book! Cannot recall nationality though.

RandomMess · 27/07/2017 10:11

Think you should have just told the LIL to piss off and find another man to ogle!

Original poster
Holidayhell1 · 27/07/2017 10:17

I'm laughing at the Chinese tourists!!! (The scenario, not Chinese people as a thing, before some pedant sharp-eyed MNer comes and corrects me).

I'm going to wait until they've gone to lunch and then move the offending sunbed randomly. and wee on it (or have we dropped the weeing thing now).

I'm thinking of saying to them they remind him of his mum back in the motherland. Haven't they got any oligarch, oil baron, football managers back home, ffs.

OP posts:
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