To think it's pathetic to take drugs on a night out ...

[Ashkey234]

She's 31 and until she met this new girl she never took drugs.
Now every time she goes out with her she takes Coke.
Every 30 minutes going to the toilet taking more.
I'm starting to dislike her because of it,I know that sounds awful but she's always jumping around after it,sweating,sniffing,bleeding nose and I just think she's Pathetic.
Both 31,she has 3 kids and I think your a mother and doing that.
I love a night out,cocktails etc but I'm honestly thinking of ending our friendship.
What's your opinions?

I agree OP. Pathetic.
The "99.9 % of people take drugs on a night out" comment someone posted though... erm, no. No they don't

It wasn't me who made the alcohol vs drunk comparison to begin with.
I've already said alcohol and illegal drugs are not in the same league.

*drug not drunk

I do worry for the male children in my family (my nephews, my sons) as we have generations of alcoholism on my father's side

Not wishing to alarm you, but my grandparents (my mother's parents), always said this about alcoholism running in the males in our family. Obviously, I have no idea if this had to do with a family link or something else, but my mum was an alcoholic who ended up dying of an alcoholic cardiomyopathy in her fifties. Keep an eye on everyone, not just the menfolk, would be my advice.

My last job was in a drugs counselling clinic. How people can downplay taking drugs is utterly beyond me.

OP, did you say that your friend is drinking 7 pints (of what?) + wine + vodka redbull (how much?) on a night out? Are you not worried about this as you sit nursing your 2 cocktails?

I'm worried about everything she does.
She drinks pints of lager then about 5 vodka red bulls.
I'm worried about the red bull plus Coke incase it causes heart problems etc.
I've tried talking to her but she doesn't listen ..apparently her taking Coke/alcohol is making her confident enough to meet new people.

We went to a concert recently she had 7 pints and 6 glasses of wine plus 4 shots then God knows how much Coke.

As someone who works in a drug clinic (and props to you for that, it's a really tough job) you pretty much by definition don't see the cases where people take drugs as part of a functional and normal lifestyle. It's like someone in a clinic for alcoholics saying 'I can't understand why anyone drinks' - well, there are loads of people who enjoy a tipple or two occasionally without having a problem, but that doesn't diminish the seriousness of the cases of habitual addiction, where people literally die.

I think it's also important to remember that some of the people who become addicts are not from nice, middle class backgrounds where everything is fine and they just wake up one day and say 'Golly gum drops, do you know what, I think I fancy taking some smack today!'

I'm not going to reiterate all my posts, but if you feel so inclined to read them over, you'll see I've been regularly exposed to recreational drug use by non-addicts (fwiw, most of whom were from middle-class backgrounds) and I also see drug us as incredibly dangerous and am a bit at some of the downplaying of it. A (middle-class) friend's brother ended up committing auicide after suffering skunk induced psychosis. Another (middle-class) young man I knew had kidney failure and could not control his bladder (at all - even when sober), after using too much ketamine. I think the reason they illegal drugs are so dangerous btw is because they aren't legal or regulated in any way. I'm sort of on the fence about legalisation, but I can definitely see the potential benefits. But for now, they're illegal and I think that makes them more dangerous.

Alcohol is dangerous too of course and I don't treat that lightly having lost a parent to alcoholism (see my last post). But having seen first hand the consequences of illegal drugs vs lethal alcoholism I would still feel confident in saying that illegal drugs are worse. Because they're illegal and not regulated. That's before you consider the consequences for people along the supply line as well as for users.

Op, your pal gets pissed and snorts coke so she will feel confident meeting people. How's that working out for her?

I agree that the unregulated nature of illegal drugs is a huge problem - witness the recent problems with heroin, which have cost several lives. I am just a bit skeptical about the following arguments:

• everything illegal is wrong
• any illegal drug use will of necessity end in death and destruction
• the supply chain for drug use is really problematic, in the context of someone who is utterly blind to the consequences of drinking legal coffee, buying Nestle products, buying sweatshop clothes, using their car unnecessarily on the road in the context of climate change etc etc etc. (This is not an argument to say we shouldn't worry about the drugs supply chain, we absolutely should. But we should maybe worry more about some stuff that is totally legal with equal commitment).
• taking drugs is a conscious choice, taken in the context of middle class lives that are absolutely hunky-dory. It seems to me that will/volition quickly become difficult concepts when you have someone who has suffered horrific physical and sexual child abuse, for instance.

Again, I'm not arguing for illegal drug use, just against a certain style of very rule-following argument that tends to prevail on these threads.

Does Diet Coke count? Misses whole point of thread

Whether a drug is illegal or not also varies by country. In Portugal for example, all drugs have been decriminalised. Guess which European country has the lowest number of addicts?

Each to their own but it does make me uncomfortable. My heart always sinks when the rolled up note and the credit card comes out.

There's something desperate about the snorting and I have to look away. It feels like accidentally seeing someone on the toilet.

It wasn't me who made the alcohol vs drunk comparison to begin with.

You mentioned that you drink alcohol so people were bound to point out that you both take drugs. It isn't that your friend is taking the bad drug and you are taking the good one, it's that your friend is habitually misusing it and you are moderately using it.

Im surprised noone has suggested ops friend doesnt get drunk and take coke to make herself interesting, she does it to make op interesting/bearable

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/jan/26/ecsasy-comeback-brave-parents-leah-betts-drugs

I grew up with the Leah Betts story becoming huge news and being shared in school. I'd never take a substance I didn't know for that reason. You don't know what it's been cut with and you don't know what effect it will have on you.

Also I really can't get into the whole "it's only occasionally and we are fine the rest of the time" argument. When you buy an illegal drug you are contributing to that trade. To the illegal criminal activity. Read the article above. Just for sharing photos of his dying dd this man received death threats and drug dealers tried to run him off the road. So much so he moved to a remote highland croft.

OP, your friend does sound a bit .... problematic? Extreme? Kind of addictive personality?

There are plenty of people out there who aren't. Not everyone has such an addictive personality.

I can think of 30 people I know, some have taken a few things whilst at uni. Some not. Some drink now, some don't.
Some took, in teens : A bit of hash, speed once of twice, a few lines on Coke. But it never materialised into any habit or dependency.

Finished uni, got jobs.
I even know a few people who still have a very occasional drug now, these days.

I know plenty of women who like drinking prosecco or wine or whatever, but who can easily, very easily, give it up for dry January, or the 6 weeks of lent.

Isn't that more the 'norm'?

So maybe the issue here is more what kind of personality your friend has?

YABU considering you drink alcohol.

Personally I'd be saving up for my new carpets and paying off my £400 hair cut rather than going out clubbing with junkies.

£400 hair cut ?? 😱😱😱😱

derailed

Why don't you try it, if she's your friend, and she seems to love it now she's tried it, maybe it's actually great! Report back and let us know! Try not to get arrested though lol!!

Or dump your friend who sounds like hard work .

Oooooh same poster who posted the £400 haircut thread? Goadier and goadier...