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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's pathetic to take drugs on a night out ...

464 replies

Ashkey234 · 24/07/2017 16:10

She's 31 and until she met this new girl she never took drugs.
Now every time she goes out with her she takes Coke.
Every 30 minutes going to the toilet taking more.
I'm starting to dislike her because of it,I know that sounds awful but she's always jumping around after it,sweating,sniffing,bleeding nose and I just think she's Pathetic.
Both 31,she has 3 kids and I think your a mother and doing that.
I love a night out,cocktails etc but I'm honestly thinking of ending our friendship.
What's your opinions?

OP posts:
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5
Sthil · 24/07/2017 23:39

"What is choosing to drink and drink if it's not a choice then? "

Ashkey, I think that some people, when they have been "anaesthetised" by the drug of choice, find it very hard to say no the next time it is offered. It seems that this is often the case with people who have suffered adversity, abuse or loss. So it is not so simple as to say these people dont have a choice, they do.... But there are other factors pushing them in the direction of the drug.

NauticalDisaster · 24/07/2017 23:44

Miffer thanks for mentioning Dr Nutt, I hadn't heard of him before and it is very interesting reading. I'll be watching some YouTube tomorrow as well, I think.

Thank you for the reply, MrsTP, I think it is likely both genetics and trauma.

I do worry for the male children in my family (my nephews, my sons) as we have generations of alcoholism on my father's side. I would say that the generation being raised now is not facing the same emotional trauma as my generation did so hopefully the more stable childhood will win out against any possible genetic disposition.

ilovesooty · 24/07/2017 23:49

I agree with @MrsTerryPratchett and I think she's actually been very restrained in answering the woeful prejudice and ignorant exhibited by the OP. I've worked in the same area for many years and unfortunately that ignorance and prejudice is still rife.
I'm employed by the second biggest drug and alcohol service in the country and referrals for alcohol are growing at a far faster rate than for anything else.

clumsyduck · 24/07/2017 23:52

God I miss taking drugs on nights out

Misses point of thread
Doesn't read full thread

Miffer · 24/07/2017 23:53

It kind of puts the kybosh on the legalising drugs argument, unless you can prove there is no correlation

Do you think that should work the other way? That we should make alcohol and tobacco illegal?

Tessliketrees · 24/07/2017 23:54

clumsyduck

You made me laugh out loud.

LittleLionMansMummy · 25/07/2017 00:12

I'm sure it's been said (sorry for not rtft) but alcohol has certainly harmed many in my family much more than illegal drugs. I haven't taken illegal drugs since becoming a parent and I rarely drink alcohol any more. My dad has issues with alcohol, as does my dh (I.e. he's on the wagon because he knows he can't control it well enough). My 8yo niece is regularly dragged to the pub and various parties until the early hours (where she invariably falls asleep) with dsis and bil, where she regularly sees dsis fall down drunk (and now even does an impression of her stumbling around). When she's sober she's a great mum, but when she's drunk, she's oblivious. My other bil is even worse and my nephews have begun to mention incidents of their father's behaviour to their school.

I had a heated discussion with my fil recently when he made the assertion that 'at least alcohol only affects the individual drinking it'. I, my niece, my mum and my sober other sister would strongly disagree.

Op, I don't disagree about your friend's behaviour. But please don't minimise abuse of legal drugs. It does victims of alcohol abuse a huge disservice.

HoneyDragon · 25/07/2017 00:45

^A little off subject but I witnessed a woman with 2 toddlers and a 6 month ish baby in the chemist getting her methadone...
Is this ok too?^

Yes.

TashaRomanoff · 25/07/2017 00:54

Cocaine is physically addictive. Physical addiction includes withdrawal symptoms and compulsively taking the drug to feel normal. With cocaine, people who abuse the drug may strongly desire the physical effects, not just the mental effects, of the stimulant. They may enjoy the increased energy, higher self-esteem, sense of accomplishment, or even the suppressed appetite (leading to rapid weight loss) that the drug causes. However, as a person enters into binge cycles with cocaine abuse, they are more likely to also suffer serious, dangerous side effects, including damage to the cardiovascular system, paranoia and delusions, and damage to the nose, mouth, throat, and upper respiratory system.

I would distance yourself from your friend, no one needs that kind of negativity in their lives, especially if you find that you don't enjoy her company any more.

However, think your statistics are a little bit off 99.9% of people are on drugs when they are out........

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/07/2017 01:16

That is a form of physical addiction but is actually a psychological addiction to physical symptoms of the drug. What I mean by physical addiction is that your body 'needs' the drug to function. Which is why alcohol withdrawal can cause death and cocaine withdrawal can't.

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/07/2017 01:20

Call it physical dependence if it makes you happier.

Cocklodger · 25/07/2017 02:12

Cannabis is illegal in a lot of the world, including the UK and most Australian states. I live in Qld.
I smoke it, I'm not ashamed nor bothered. My DD is safe and in capable hands for the nights I go out, I don't smoke at home and I never have around her. I use it in a similar way that most use alcohol.
Sensibly and only occasionally.
No one has ever died from a cannabis overdose you just throw up and go to sleep generally

Most of the parents I know smoke cannabis
I'm not an asshole when high, in fact I just want a laugh followed by an extra large pizza, bottle of sunkist and sleep.
Perhaps someone can explain to me very simply why I should be ashamed/lose my child to ss/am a selfish horrible bitch etc etc Hmm

Heebejeebees · 25/07/2017 02:27

Fluffypinkpyjamas - people don't just take drugs to feel cool. They take them to numb the feelings of shitness, inadequacy, etc. They dont do it to feel cool - they do it because they do not feel cool in any way shape of form. So misunderstood on your massive pedastool!

JeNeSuisPasVotreMiel · 25/07/2017 07:43

if you take drugs you risk dying and leaving your child motherless..it's a fact

No it isn't a fact, and I doubt very much if you could produce any evidence to back up your claim.

I can't stand being in the company of coke users, they become the most annoying twats, but they are not risking their lives on a daily basis. Those little lines of powder turn you into an arrogant arsehole who is funding an evil worldwide trade, not a risk taking daredevil.
A few years ago forensic tests were done on hundreds of £20 notes. There was not one to be found in circulation that didn't have traces of coke on it. It's prevalent across our society.

You need to get your facts right OP or you can't expect support for your point of view.

There's lots of different kinds of drugs, the range out there is incredibly diverse and by no means do they all put lives at risk.

Magic mushrooms are being trialled in depression treatment, and paracetamol has just been found to be more damaging than ever originally understood.

Look at any city centre in a weekend evening and you'll see ambulances lined up ready for all the alcohol casualties who will, without doubt, need urgent treatment.

I've worked doing first aid at large music events for years and it's the overuse of alcohol that causes more problems than anything else.

Your friend sounds annoying and irresponsible and not a good parent, but she's not risking her life unless she's out there driving a vehicle under the influence.

peachgreen · 25/07/2017 07:49

@LoniceraJaponica Hmm that's not accurate - the graph is showing the percentage of the general population who become addicted, not the percentage of users. The percentage of the population who become addicted will always be higher for legal drugs because more people try them.

What we need to work out is the percentage of users who go on to become addicted. That will give equivalent figures. Somebody clever can do the maths I'm sure!

mogulfield · 25/07/2017 07:51

Alcohol is a drug and it's bad, I think we all agree.
But if I have a beer I know no one was trafficked/raped/coerced into gang violence for it.
I know it's a beer, and not cut with anything else that could kill me, or 200 times stronger than the last beer I had.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jun/29/albanian-gangs-control-uk-cocaine-market-says-agency

everythingissoblinkinrosie · 25/07/2017 08:03

Do I feel sympathy for anyone addicted to anything? Yes. Does that mean the thing they are addicted to is ok? No. Do I think it affects their ability to be a good parent? Yes.
Is cocaine just like chocolate? No it fucking well isn't. Don't be so fucking stupid.

Ashkey234 · 25/07/2017 08:05

She took Coke and paid the ultimate price ..so how can "if you take drugs you risk death" not be a fact,is it not a fact this young woman took drugs and is now dead?

To think it's pathetic to take drugs on a night out ...
OP posts:
notoneofyou · 25/07/2017 08:08

Ashkey, why did you start this thread?

Did you actually want help reaching out to your friend or just to bitch about her?

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 25/07/2017 08:09

ashkey

People die from alcohol poisoning and choking on their own vomit (a personal fear of mine when it comes to my children)

Sometimes for those people its one of the first times they go out and get bladdered

Am i more worried about drugs than alcohol...yes, but I appreciate that part of that is my socialisation

Cocklodger · 25/07/2017 08:11

Drugs would be safer if they could be legalised and regulated. It would also have saved that woman, as it wasn't the cocaine that killed her it was the drug mixed with it.
It's an argument for legalisation if anything, although I admit I'm on the fence tbh.

BossaDad · 25/07/2017 08:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Slarti · 25/07/2017 08:52

I didn't say alcohol was ok ,I said out of both of them which is more dangerous.

You're asking people to compare moderate use of one drug (2 cocktails) with the habitual use of another (your friend). Isn't it a bit telling that you want to make this lop-sided comparison? Why not compare habitual alcohol misuse with habitual cocaine misuse? Or moderate use of both? As MrsTP points out, it isn't the drug but the use. If you were habitually misusing alcohol you would have a problem, regardless of the fact that you were drinking cocktails or the fact that they are legal.

elfinpre · 25/07/2017 08:53

Taking a drug that a mule has had shoved up their arse to bring into the country and in the countries producing it causes near civil war, death, destruction and a lot of suffering is a little bit different from having a glass of pinot grigio, yes.

I wonder if the tiresome yuppies taking cocaine regularly buy fairtrade coffee?

everythingissoblinkinrosie · 25/07/2017 08:58

Most coke users I ever met were boring twats. Usually with an unjustified sense of superiority about how wonderful and creative they were.

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